5 days and counting
Posted by soon2bskinnybitch, 01 March 2012 · 215 views
Words can not begin to express my anxiety, fear, and excitement about the journey I am about to take. I will be traveling to see Dr. Ortiz on Tuesday March 6, 2012 my actual surgery date is March 7 though, I wanted a day toa adjust to the surroundings not just show up and rush right in. I have terrrible anxiety when rushing is involved and I want this experiance to be as relaxed as possible. I have done a lot of research on Dr.Ortiz and have only found one negative comment and it was questionable, I thought that if I looked hard enough that I would find something but I couldn't which makes me positive I made the right decision in my choice of surgeons. Becausee in researching some of the other surgeons that people have recommended I could find a ton of negative and down right scandelous stuff. My patient coordinator Lori was very nice and helpful she always responded to me quickly and was able to answer all my questions, the fact that she was also banded by Dr. Ortiz made me feel better as well. I will be traveling alone, I know many people think that is crazy, but I am a mother of three and I don't get much alone time so I figured my book and I would make the trip and my husband can stay home and hang with the kids. My highest weight was 254lbs and I am currently 211lbs not sure how much I have lost with the pre op diet but I am sure I have lost a little. I have really gone back and forth on doing this and part of me feels selfish because I am taking a risk when there are possible complications that could arise and I have 3 beautiful kids and a caring wonderful husband. But I am so unhappy and uncomfortable in my own skin, I want to walk out of my house with confidence with my head up!!! I have been through hell in my life and I have earned that!!! I think that my insecurities really puts a wall between my husband and I and I am tired of it I want to bust that wall down, I want to be free!!! When people look at me they don't think that I need to have the lap band done, but if you spend your whole life yoyoing from 180-230 you would understand the need. Last year at this time I weighed 230lbs and then I went on the ideal protein diet and made it to 187 and then within a month I was back over 200. When does it end? I don't have heart problems or diabetes or any of the morbidities they talk about in reasons to have the lapband done (yet), but I do have bursitis in both hips and I have no thyroid which really hinders your weight loss effort not to mention depression from bieng overweight. I guess I am just rambling trying to justify my decision. SO here it is, I am choosing to take control of ny life so I can have a happier, more active, and fulfilled life with my husband and children. This is for ME!!!!! I never stop and do anything to make myself happy everything is always for everyone around me, which is fine and that makes me happy too. But today I am going to put me first!!!