Hi Everybody.
This is my first post but I am desperate!
I got the surgery at the end of May 2007. I was at an all time high of 245 and lost 5 lbs on the pre-op diet.
I lost about 10 lbs. Then I had my first fill in July to 1.9/4.0 cc, and lost another 5 lbs.
As of the end August I had my 2nd fill to 2.4/4.0cc, and a little after that got down to 220.0-a loss of about another 5 lbs.
Not bad overall, a total of 25 pounds over 5 months and people were finally able to tell a little. BUT....
The last few weeks have been a nightmare with just eating! It seems the lap band restricts somethings on some days, and other days I can eat whatever I want. Some days I have ABSOLUTLEY NO restriction what so ever after the morning hours, and it feels like I am battling food just the same as I was before I even got the surgery...and not winning the battle. The band seems to work the first week or two I get home from a fill, then I can start eating a little more, each day, until I am back to eating normally again. Then I am on my own with diet and exercise, and I don't feel I have the extra TOOl of the lap band to help me at all.
I have regained 7 pounds in the last 3 weeks and I am really SCARED. I am scared that I am one of those people that the lap band IS NOT going to work for, and that in a few weeks I will be up to my old weight like I never got the band or spent the money for it! SCARED that I just wasted $8500 to be a failure on another lose-weight scheme.
Please be honest, is any one out there having the same problems with feeling that maybe this isn't working like they say it will? I have read posts on the internet about people that have lost up to 100 lbs. because they get sick when they eat too much and are FORCED to stop. I am NOT having that reaction more than a few days after the fill!
The last few months I have been following a diet and exercising (moderately I'll admit) to lose that 20 lbs, and I feel like the lap band HELPED, but it wasn't the WHOLE reason I was able to lose that weight. I watched what I ate! Every time I do get a fill, I AM forced to stop overeating, but it goes back to normal after a week or two. Somehow I doubt I can keep getting fills EVERY five pounds like I have been until I reach a 100 lbs. weight loss. That would be like 20 fills and impossible with only a 4.0 cc band.
I am frustrated because I KNOW what the doctors will say, that you have to eat right. DUH! I knew that before the surgery and from a life time of dieting, but my issue is that I eat TOO MUCH, even healthy foods, and that is where the lap band, I thought, was going to come in and help me. I KNOW HOW TO DIET, the idea behind getting the lap band was to STOP OVEREATING by being forced to eat smaller portions on those days I wanted to eat more and not diet.
I am back to old thoughts of SPENDING more money on weight watchers, diet pills, personal trainers...but to be honest, I don't have the money anymroe! Having this surgery was a HUGE step for me and I got a loan for it, I DON"T WANT to spend any more money, I felt like this was supposed to BE IT...THE ANSWER to help me get on my way. It has not been the answer i thought it was going to be. There are no fill centers near me, so I have to fly to Mexico and rent a car so each trip for a fill ends up costing about $300. That's a lot to spend for a 5 pound weight loss. I can't do that every 6 weeks!
Yes, I know that losing 20 lbs is a lot, but honestly, I HAVE done that in the past few years on my own with diet, SEVERAL TIMES, and it always stops after 20 lbs. because I start to overeat too many calories or stop the diet. I am at this point again, and gaining again, but I THOUGHT this time would be different, I thought it would be different because of the LAP BAND> I thought the lap band would force me to get to the next step of say, 25, or 30 pounds and more weight loss.
I feel like an absolute failure right now, especially because I think that I KNOW what people's reactions are when they see me (those that know about the lap band)....that its my fault I am not losing weight becuase I am still eating too much. WELL, DUH! That is why I got the lap band...to stop myself !!! And its not working. I am starting to get frustrated and more than that, EMBARRASSED to see the people who do know I got the surgery. I am not the poster-child for lap band weight loss I thought I was goign to be when I bragged to my close friends that I was doing this surgery to help me get over my usual lose 20 lbs, gain it back pattern. I feel desperate and extremely sad and a little mad that maybe, just maybe, I spent $8500 on somethign that was achievable with diet/exercise alone, since I have ONLY reached the same weight loss I reached with OUT the lap band and no more. I feel desperate and to be totally honest- I feel let-down and cheated.
HELP!!!!