I know exactly what you are going through! I am scheduled to have surgery on 11/5 and it is all I can think about.....should I, shouldn't I, what if this or that and maybe I too can do it on my own......I'm driving myself crazy! Are they going to give your deposit back? Looking through the gallery and reading everyones success stories help me throughout the day are reassures me I'm making the right decision..........for that moment anyway!