Wow, thanks everyone for your kind words and support! I was shocked to get so many people to reply. There was one time I went to the doctor. I think this was the actual turning point. I got there, and he went to weigh me, and I was too heavy for the scale. They had to put 2 scales together to weigh me. At that time I was up to a whopping 368. I just couldn't stop crying. That was the worst feeling I've ever felt.
I've been talking with my mother about helping me with a loan of some sort. She is, well, she's interesting when it somes to helping me. haha She's supportive sometimes, but not exactly in all areas. I know that she knows I need this. My whole family suffers with obesity. She's got sooooo many health issues due to her weight. I look at her and I know, I KNOW I don't want to be like that when I'm her age. Trust me, if I had anything worth selling I'd do it to get the money to do this. I want children so desperately. My mother seems to think that I'll never have kids, but if I lost weight my PCOS wouldn't be as much of an issues and it'd be possible. I don't want to go out like my family... overweight, having heart attacks and strokes, diabetes, sleep apnea. I don't want to fear that I could die tomorrow. I've suffered with weight problems since I was 4. I'm just sick of it. I'm sure you all know what I mean. I hate that feeling you get when you eat a candy bar... that satisfaction followed with sadness.
I have a boyfriend, and during a family get together at his mothers house she wanted a picture of us. She had him sit on my knee for the picture... :lb12: can you imagine? His family are all like bean poles. They couldn't have possibly imagined how that made me feel. It made me sick. And here I am rambling along. I'll go for now. lol