Hi! I'm going to give you a positive word here. I am not a band patient but the mom of one so I don't know completely where you are coming from. Listen, everyday is a new day. Whats done is done, just start today as a new day. I tried to be considerate of my daughter by not keeping bad things around but I guess you cant really expect everyone to do that. Leave the room, go for a walk, do something you enjoy. My daughter totally strugged with the liquid thing both before and after surgery and I know she cheated. Here's how I see it. If you were so totally disciplined as some people imply you should be then you probably wouldn't have needed surgery in the first place. Do the best you can. There will surely be more stuggles ahead so dont give up yet. My daughter is 11, yes 11, months out and still has not reached her sweet spot. Its been about six months or more since she lost any weight and has actually put some back on. She is at 8.2 cc in a 9 cc band and no sweet spot!! So Ithink she is feeling like you....like giving up. I begged the doc to go against his policy of no more than one fill per month. We were in last week for the .2 cc and that didn't help so he said to come in next week and they are going to take it all out under floro and see whats there and put it back. I'm sure that that information will get some people bent out of shape and they will leave me messages saying "the band is a tool" bla bla bla.... We know that. People dont seen to believe that she can't be there at 8.2 cc and so they get nasty. But believe me shes not there. Its not thats shes living on twinkies. Example. The other night for supper she ate 2 fish patties and probably about 1/2 - 3/4 cup of beans. She was perfectly comfortable doing so. Thats way more than 1/2 to 1 cup of food. She simply isn't filling up. Is she always making wise food choices? I doubt it, but she is not filling up and I believe that is the whole idea here.
On a funny note, I do understand your despiration. About 17 years ago I had jaw surgery and had my mouth wired shut for six weeks!! At about three weeks into it I had cooked supper for my family and it smelled sooooo good. I remember actually trying to shove a peice of macaroni through my teeth which was nearly impossible becuase I have a splint between the teeth to hold things in place so I had to go clear back behind the very back of my mouth where there was a small hole drilled in the splint. They put there for incase you need to throw up you wont choke to death on it. I tried to push that though there and onto my tongue so I could at least taste it!! I lived on carnation instant breakfast, fruit juices and an occasional milk shake. Its funny now that I think about it but I was quite frustrated having to feed my husband and kids and not being able to eat any myself.
HANG IN THERE!! YOU'LL BE FINE!