Lisa,
I have only been banded for 3 and 1/2 months, but I just wish they had had this 20 years ago. I have never once wished that I had not done it. I have lost 45 pounds since August 8th and feel so much better. I researched long and hard, and knew that I would not do the by-pass for many of the reasons you mentioned.
I am continually amazed at how well the band works. I had a few days of hurting some, but the meds did their job. Best of luck to you in your search and overcoming your battle.
Deby