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Sometimes we just need to vent.....


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I have not been on the board as much lately, not sure what is going on with me BUT I knew I had to come here!!! I am usually a pretty postive person on this board but I guess I just need to get this out. I am SO SO SO SO Sick and tired of being sick and tired! I am SICK of counting calories, I am SICK of watching EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth, I am SICK of EVERYTHING I am doing revolving around food and weight! This is ALL that my house hold revolves around now, which is not a bad thing but its driving me crazy! I dont know if it is the Holidays with ALL of the NO NO foods around me or what but I am SO ready just to throw my hands up and say screw this! I think my biggest problem is that I have been fighting for SO long it seem like to get out of the 180's. I am NOT putting the effort exercise wise to get out of them but I CAN NOT make myself get back on track with my exercise. I get really down about it and start thinking about food of course the cycle starts all over, calories, food, exercise...!!! It is effecting my attitude at home, I feel like I could just get in my car and drive! I have tried to just "live my life" but I cant seem to do this. I knew going into this that the mental issue could get to you, but I guess I thought it would have happened at the start. I am over a year out now and it has hit me like a ton of bricks! I know I am not the only one that has went through this, I just would like to know how you handled it.

Carrie

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Carrie, I’m just right there with you. I had to stop counting calories and my goal became to just eat healthy and look at portion size – not let food rule my world. And when we are sooo focused on it for so long – we start to hate it, and that’s not how it should be. I have a much better relationship with food now (that’s why I took all those classes - I wanted to be educated on what food actually was for me) I get what it is now. It’s something that nourishes me, in more ways than one and that’s OK. I’m not going to abuse it – and it’s not going to abuse me any more. That’s just how it is, and that doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t eat junk food or overeat – I do, if I overindulge one day, I under indulge the next, and even things out – that’s what healthy people do. They just know when to stop the cycle of overeating.

Exercise is something I use to hate as well, its now one of my best friends. If we do something consistently and you really start to see how it helps you, you start liking it and appreciating it for what it is. I can do things now that I could never do as a teenager, and I’m healthier and happier, most people forget that it not only improves your shape and muscle tone but it gives your brains endorphins so you’re a much happier person mentally as well. On this one, you are on your own because until you get to a certain point and it becomes habit and part of your life – it’s going to be a battle. All I can say is I do it everyday – feel bad if I don’t and I take the time out for me, because of the benefits it provides. I care about you and I really hope that you can do this too, its amazing once you get to a certain point where you realize you are a "fit" person.

What you’re fighting is a battle that I had to fight, most of us will at some point in our lives and I’m proud of you for looking it straight on and putting it out there for all to see.

Best,

Lisa

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Carrie,

Hey, the holidays are hard. All those extra holiday foods that only come around once a year. Everybody (even "normal" people) gain weight around the holidays. Don't get so down on yourself. Make your goal to get through the holidays without gaining any weight and then get back on track with the New Year.

I know you can do it.

Dawn

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I totally understand. This might be an odd way to look at it, but I feel a bit differently about the sick and tired. In my pre-banded days, I was sick and tired of my weight, sick and tired of feeling awful, and sick and tired of NOT seeing a way out. After my band, I know that I'm sick and tired of not being able to eat a piece of holiday eggnog bread, but I also know that for the first time in my life there's a reason that I can't eat it BESIDES the fact that it's 'bad for me'. I guess I feel like I've always had those same feelings during the holidays of "I wish things were easier for me" but at least now I know that I have a way to make them easier for me than they are for other people who have those same feelings. Does this make any sense at all? :huh:

Because we have abused food in the past any time of year that glorifies eating is going to be a pain in the patoot for us. All we can do is feel blessed that we have a way to deal with that in January besides the mostly ill-fated 'New Year's Resolution'!!

Cookie

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Hey Carrie!

I would take a look at your "before" and "after" pictures again. You have a lot to show for all of your effort, kid. Try to hang in there. I agree with the previous post--EVERYBODY, banded or not, has an issue with weight gain at this time of year with all of the goodies that are around. The new year is upon us, so make a promise that you'll get yourself through the next few days, and then hit it gangbusters starting next week. Everyone here believes in you!!

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I so completely understand what you are going through. I have been there too - sometimes I drive by a Wendy's and just want to scream that I can't have a cheeseburger or one of those damn Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuits!! So please know that i've totally been there and still experience it quite a bit.

I'm with Lisa - when i'm at a good fill I don't count calories I just watch my portions and do try to make sure I get those proteins in. Right now i'm counting until i can get filled back up to where I need to be. I don't care for exercise either, but once I get myself in a routine it is much easier. Also, make sure to find something you like to do. For me it is Zumba I LOVE it! I also started running which I don't particularly live for, but it gives me a goal to reach and it makes me feel really good when I increase my distance or finish a run.

Just know i've been there and feel your pain! For me, this time of year is terrible. Not just all the pot lucks and what not, but also I get a little bleh this time of year. Reminds me that another year has gone by and all the things I haven't accomplished. Don't get me wrong, i've done a lot, but it is always easier it seems to focus on the negative sadly.

Keep your chin up!!

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Thanks Ladies, you are all so WONDERFUL!

You are all right, I need to set back and look how far I have came, thanks tootsie lou!. Dont get me wrong, I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life this past year, but the mental part does get to you. I never thought it would but wow....Im not hungry during the day, I just got to STOP with the sweet cravings. I was watching a show the other day and I think my problem is that I take everything I do in regards to this journey over the top or I totaly blow it! I guess what I am trying to say is, if I do exercise I do it with Hubby for like an hour + with P90X or I dont do it at all. That video is HARD, very HARD. Like Shelby said, find something I like. I need to stop trying to do it and find something that is more on my level and work out for 20-30 mins, so that I dont HATE it because I have done it for an hour+ the day before. The same with food, if I screw up and eat something bad, my attitude is well I might as well make this a high calorie day and then I will eat sweets ALL day long! I should say ok, I ate that and do better the rest THAT day, not the next, ohh I will start tomorrow, uhmmm tomorrow is alwas the same thing for me and I need to stop this cycle! Dawn, I think this will be my new years resolution, maybe this will get me back on track!

Lisa, maybe I need to find some classes that I could take to help me learn how "deal" with healthy foods. As far as the exercise, you look great! I just got to make myself do it, no matter what! Cookie you totally make since! Thanks!

Carrie

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I have not been on the board as much lately, not sure what is going on with me BUT I knew I had to come here!!! I am usually a pretty postive person on this board but I guess I just need to get this out. I am SO SO SO SO Sick and tired of being sick and tired! I am SICK of counting calories, I am SICK of watching EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth, I am SICK of EVERYTHING I am doing revolving around food and weight! This is ALL that my house hold revolves around now, which is not a bad thing but its driving me crazy! I dont know if it is the Holidays with ALL of the NO NO foods around me or what but I am SO ready just to throw my hands up and say screw this! I think my biggest problem is that I have been fighting for SO long it seem like to get out of the 180's. I am NOT putting the effort exercise wise to get out of them but I CAN NOT make myself get back on track with my exercise. I get really down about it and start thinking about food of course the cycle starts all over, calories, food, exercise...!!! It is effecting my attitude at home, I feel like I could just get in my car and drive! I have tried to just "live my life" but I cant seem to do this. I knew going into this that the mental issue could get to you, but I guess I thought it would have happened at the start. I am over a year out now and it has hit me like a ton of bricks! I know I am not the only one that has went through this, I just would like to know how you handled it.

Carrie

Hey Carrie - Umm so would this be a bad time to ask how the Insanity series went over......muaahhh haaa haaa....really you have to laugh when the going gets tough otherwise you will end up like me with a gianormous bowl of ice cream and peanut butter in your face!

It is hard to find balance and feel good about everything. I think one of the most important things I can say is that you are doing amazing! You are amazing, and I believe you will find a way to feel better or at peace with this struggle.

It is hard when we are going it alone, but when you house is a healthy house that adds a certain element of pressure to the mix. Even if we take a moment to step back and breath it is still all around us. Carrie the counting and focusing on the details has got you this far! Which is so amazing.

Finding something you love to do is vital for exercise! If PX90 is not that then do something else. Maybe hubby can humor you and do what you want as a compromise to the tough stuff. I personally like yoga and swimming. Walking is very theraputic for me when I do it too. I USE to use hand weights and really work it at times in the walk. It is also amazing how much you process in your head when you are out there.

I know you are in this for the long haul and have the goals set. Now it's changing up the stratagy to make it work/flow right. You can do it.

HUGS!

Angie

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The same with food, if I screw up and eat something bad, my attitude is well I might as well make this a high calorie day and then I will eat sweets ALL day long! I should say ok, I ate that and do better the rest THAT day, not the next, ohh I will start tomorrow, uhmmm tomorrow is alwas the same thing for me and I need to stop this cycle!

I have a different attitude on sweets. I love hard candy. Not sugarless candy, it's full of sorbitol that bloats me something awful. But regular hard candy. My favorite are jawbreakers, like Atomic Fireballs. There is max 20-30 calories in a hard candy. I have them in my purse, my desk drawer, and even my car. When I'm stressed or feeling like I need a sugar fix, I pop a jawbreaker in my mouth. It usually lasts 10-15 minutes, totally satisfies my craving, and I haven't blown my day. If I eat an additional 150 calories per day as candy, I don't feel bad. When the going gets tough I'd rather have 150 fat free calories that satisfy me than succumb to an 800 calorie Snickers.

In regards to the cycle, I learned a long time ago that there is a huge difference between a slip and a fall. Eating something you shouldn't, or even eating an entire DAY of things that you shouldn't doesn't mean you've fallen and you can't get up. You slipped. We all slip. Heck, half of the time I'm walking my life on banana peels. The fact that you realize you slipped is enough to make it a slip. Get up, dust off your tookus, and get on with your day. The only thing that will turn that slip into a fall is waking up tomorrow and saying "Well, yesterday was a pooper so I might as well blow the whole week....". :rolleyes:

Cookie

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I feel you there. I drive by Wendys and I just smell that hamburger. Ahh, then I remember after I would eat it, how awful I would feel. The other day I went to my favorite restaurant and told her I wanted something that looked like a hamburger. She was so funny. She gave me a piece of lettuce with a little piece of hamburger and a pickel. I never laughed so hard. I am completely at a stand still. Not gaining or losing. I need a fill. Money is very tight right now and I am checking to see if I can come up with the $150.00 I need to get my fill. What has helped me not to gain is I am continuing to exersise. I have a pole in my living room and pole dancing is some serious work out. Sounds funny but it is so much fun. I am still trying to climb the thing. If I can lose another 30 pounds they tell me that I will have no problem hanging upside down. Trust me, that I am getting on tape! HA! You tube has a whole load of training tapes on how to pole dance or even just to plain dance. It is great work out. Do something fun, something to make you laugh, it will take the edge off. I know this is about being healthy and losing the weight but if life isnt fun and you can't laugh, then you are really going to be bumbed out.. If anyone decides they want a pole for their living room let me know, I cant help you get one. Trust me your other half will love it!! HA! Take care.

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Hi Carrie,

I get it. HUGS to you... :)

I so agree, you have accomplished so much this year. You are doing wonderful and I am very proud of you.

Also, sorry I am so late on responding, but ANY time you want to vent, go for it.

We are here. :D

Hugs,

Kristi

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Angie! lol@ the Insanity!!!...I think I have lost it for buying the dang things..lol No Hubby LOVES them, has not really gotten into them to much YET, still on his second wrong of P90X, he is so loyal....lol...I did do the Insanity ABS, not to bad honestly, only 20 mins of trying to break a hip instead of an hour +...LOL I think you are right, WAY to tough for me so I just have to do a little and say good job Carrie, maybe go longer the next time and let it go! I have found that if I set a goal of working out with Hubby for 20 mins and that is all I got, HEY that waws better than doing nothing! Do your best and forget the rest...OK OK, I have heard Tony Horton WAY to long...LOL

Thanks for the Suppor Angie! You are AMAZING GIRL!!!!! You better not ever leave this boarD!

Cookie,

I have never tried hard candy, but I might try it, knowing my luck I will swallow the thing whole...lol The part about slip and falls, you hit it right on the head! I do say that, ohh well might as well have my blow day. I have started looking at this different...Thanks!

Kristi!

Thank you so much! I love the fact that there is SO much support on this board! Thanks for everything, you have done an amazing job yourself!

Carrie

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