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Having surgery in January, I hope...

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:-h Well, I knew my insurance. BCBS OF ILL would not be willing to pay for this...and I am not willing to wait 2 more years. My dear Uncle is letting me take a cash advance on my trust fund to pay. He should be sending the checks in a week or so. Now, that I know, I am like so excieted. I finally have given into the fact that I need this to survive. I am 5'10 and just around 300lbs now, and I am almost 48. My goal is to beable to run with my sons in a 5k before I am 50. The thing I am now experiancing is the fact of loss, the feeling of loosing my best friend, even tho now, I am loathing food. I look at it like a drug that I can not control. But, even when I gave up those drugs, I cried, even tho I hated doing them. It was comfortable, and easy to use as an excuse. Like food is. How will I never have bread again, or my pastas? I know that in AA it is a one day at a time, and I will have to live like that again. The very thought of maybe living a lot longer, and seeing my grandkids one day, thrills me. I would do it tomorrow if I could. I would like to go to sleep and wake up in the recovery room. The days just drag now. I do enjoy every bite now. Knowing that diet soda is coming to an end, soon, along with the pies, cakes, and cookies.. My birthday is Dec 16th, I am going to have a nice, big, Red Lobster dinner (sorry guys), and cake. I am going to be here for awhile so get used to me..lol..talk soon..Geri in Beebe, AR

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Hey I hear ya! I have a short list of food friends I'm saying goodbye to, one at a time. I love Outback Steakhouse and I will miss the filet (for now). Also a certain local pizza, and my Chinese food. Oh what will I do without my Gen. Tso's???? (wailing away loudly). :(( :((

But I tell myself it'all to the good in the end.

One day, will I be able to eat those foods again (except pizzaa) if I go slooooow and chew loooong?

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