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My lengthy (and somewhat) detailed journey of getting banded.


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THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY

The day had come! Time to travel South of the Border into Tijuana and my dive into the band. As a recap, I had done pretty well on my Atkins/liquid diet, having lost about 21 pounds-- more than the 5% of my weight I needed to lose before surgery. The day prior, I decided to celebrate and enjoy myself with a wonderful BBQ dinner with the family. Oh, how I love those fried pickles! At least they won't be completely gone from my life in the future, though they may be the meal, and not just the appetizer.

Since I was a So.Cal local, I decided to meet the clinic shuttle at the San Diego International Airport. Considering the long term parking fee was $9 per day, I was pleased to find the lot was literally next door to Terminal Two baggage claim. After a five minute walk, I was waiting for the shuttle driver.

At the San Diego Airport, there are escalators with descending arrivees. I waited at the bottom, looking in the same direction that the arriving passengers would be looking. With that vantage point, I easily saw a Hispanic gentlemen holding a passenger's name up, and wearing an OCC i.d. tag. I approached him to let him know I was here. The driver, Francisco, informed me we had a third person to wait for, but her flight wouldn't be here for another 40 minutes or so. Oh well... back to sitting I go.

Fast forward, and all three patients were accounted for. We walked out into the short term parking lot, boarded a large late model van, and made our way out of the lot and towards the border. Because today was Sunday, there was no clinic to go to, so we headed straight for the Lucerna Hotel.

Crossing into Mexico was easy. However, glancing across the border at the traffic headed back to the U.S., we knew we had a fun wait ahead of us when we returned. The driver estimated we'd have a 2-3 hour wait coming back-- unless you decided to return in the middle of the night. It was ALWAYS this long. *sigh* Before we arrived, I asked what time we'd be picked up from the hotel. The driver said 8:00am. If you brought a companion with you, you wouldn't need to check out.

Less than 10 minutes inside Tijuana, I knew we were getting close to the hotel. I knew we were close, because Francisco began to point out the Domino's and Pizza Hut nearby (did he KNOW why we were even here?). And at last, the Hotel Lucerna appeared. On the outside, it looked like any standard older hotel. Six storeys tall, and each room seemed to have a balcony. Our luggage was taken out of the van and brought alongside the front desk for us to check in. When it was my turn, I identified myself, and was presented the documents to sign-- payment for the room was taken care of. Since I saw the sign as I entered, I asked for the internet code so I could access the free wireless internet. They wrote it down on my key envelope. The bellman offered to take my luggage up, but it was no big deal, so I took it up with me to the fifth floor.

I found my room, and used the electronic keycard. Inside, I found a king-size bed, marble bathroom countertop, two 600ml bottles of complimentary water, and complimentary soaps, shampoo, and hair dryer. Ironing board and iron in the closet. No ice bucket. Hair dryer didn't work. Placard advertising order pizza on the room table. I hid that. I've stayed in worse rooms, but have definitely stayed in better. Personally I wouldn't give it any better than three starts The television has free channels, and some premium movie channels. No Pay Per View, but ports on the front indicate you could bring a portable DVD player or game system to hook up. I brought my laptop, so I could always use that to watch movies. Ahh, the laptop! Time to log in and let the wife know I made it ok (the kids prevented her from joining me). The wireless router name is unsecured and easy to connect to. However, as soon as you try to go to a website, the Lucerna security page pops up and asks you for your code. And after numerous attempts, it STILL wouldn't work. I headed downstairs, and realized that my front desk clerk had bad writing. The Access code is "lucernaXXX", with XXX being the room number you're in. The password is a five digit code they'll give you. Once I set down my free bag of ice (still no bucket) and entered it in all correctly, it worked. Slow and spotty, but it worked, and better to use Skype at $.02 per minute than my cellphone at $1.10 per minute.

I set a trashcan as an ice bucket and iced down my final diet shake. Final shake, but not yet... time to go across the street to the local convenience store for a couple small bags of chips and a diet soda. THE last carbonated soda. Ahhhh... delicious. I looked out the window at the traffic circle of not so late cars and taxis circling endlessly, and the obligatory siren in the distance. This seems to ALWAYS be a siren somewhere within earshot. If you like sirens, Tijuana is for you.

I never left the room again that day. Enjoyed my final shake and water, and nodded off at 10:30pm.

THE SURGERY DAY

The surgery day came roughly, with me being awoken numerous times during the night by sirens, my dreams, and a bed that was decidedly not like home. But 7:00am was here, and time for me to kick it into gear for an 8:00am pick-up. I had just enough water left in my complimentary water bottle to brush my teeth with. Packed it all up, and headed downstairs. I emerged from the elevator to find the two people I met at the airport, plus some new arrivals. Right on time, Mrs. Ortiz (The Doc's mom), a small, spry, short-white haired lady with more energy than the room, and took us in two separate trips. I was in trip #1. With my luggage, I got into her late model Volvo S80 along with others, and we headed to the clinic. About a 5 minute trip.

We parked in the underneath parking at the nice looking clinic building and took the elevator up. The elevator doors opened into the clinic reception area. We identified ourselves, and Mrs. Ortiz left to pick up the rest of the patients. We went to the receptionist's desk and signed the legal paperwork that basically releases them for just about anything. I signed. I was also asked whether I had brought my original paperwork that I faxed back. No, I said, I didn't. No problem-- they had a copy. (and I thought "then why ask me for one"?)

I sat down and picked out a magazine to read. If you're a guy and REALLY into yachts, you'll be very happy with your reading choices. Other than that, good luck. Luckily, the movie Batman was playing on a TV in the corner of the waiting room. I didn't have to wait long.

Shortly thereafter, I was called back for them to draw blood. They stuck a port in the side of my left wrist, and drew what blood they needed. They then taped the port in place-- this would be the port they would use for the duration of my stay. Back to the waiting room I go.

I was then called to the receptionist desk to get my photo digitally snapped-- for what, I had no idea. Sat back down. Got called up again to see the cardiologist. He asked me a few questions about my health, then had me blow in a device for as hard and as long as I could. I expected some sort of resistance as I blew, but I was wrong. I ran out of air mighty quick, but the cardiologist keep encouraging me to keep on blowing... keep on blowing... I did until the machine beeped. Phew! Then I got up and into a back room where he started to place his sticker collection all over my body. Well, that's what it seemed like. Actually, he was placing sensors on key parts for an EKG. Once hooked up, it took about 30 seconds for a full reading. Between the lung thingy, and the EKG, I passed. No one came back to me in a panic over my blood test, so I could only assume that went well, too.

...and then I was called again to meet with the nutritionist, Dr. Miranda. She struck me as much younger than I had expected, and spoke better English than I expected. Don't ask me.why I thought she'd be older and less fluent. She had me weigh-in and measure my height. Then she handed me a nutrition guide, and I followed along with a Powerpoint. I was encouraged to write notes. She said I had done well on my diet, and based on that and no other medical problems, my surgery should take nine minutes. NINE? Are you kidding? No.. once I was under anesthesia, it should only take nine minutes, unless they ran into a hiatal hernia, in which case they'd repair it and it would take longer. Wow. I asked a few other questions, and we were done....

...and BACK to the waiting room. I found the page in "GENERIC YACHING JOURNAL #836" that I had left off from... and then I was called in. This time, I was told to bring my luggage with me. Everyone else in the waiting room wished we luck, and I passed through the doors to the back. I was led to my room where I'd be for the next day. I was told to strip to my birthday suit, and to put on the gown open at the back, and a most flattering set of paper undies that do nothing for support. I did this, left the room to use the bathroom, and returned to my room. I was invited to use the phone in the room of I'd like to make any calls, including anywhere in the U.S. for free, AND they could call me using the clinic's toll-free line. That was a VERY nice, and I proceeded to do so. Earlier, I was also shown two computer terminals for internet access while I was there.

My nurse, Josefa, came in and asked me to lie down on the bed. She set up an i.v. and I was also handed a cup with two pills... one to relax, and the other an anti nausea. I was told to place them under my tongue so they'd dissolve then I could swallow them if and when I chose. No water, though.

I laid back down and the anesthesiologist came in. I made the obligatory joke about putting me to sleep for the right time, and he joked back that that was easy-- WAKING me would be the tricky part! No problems with anesthetics in the past, so he left. Dr. Ortiz came in and we chatted comfortably about the surgery, how men do well with weight loss under the band, etc etc. He left.

Some time later they called me in, and I walked into the surgery room. Climbed onto the bed, and they strapped both my arms on extending planks reminiscent of a crucifixion. I asked why I needed to be strapped, but I don't recall getting a reply. After asking which one of them was going to scratch my itchy nose, a strap was loosened and I scratched. Back the arm went, and back on went the straps. That's the last I remember...

....I then woke up, back in my hospital bed in my room, with a mask blowing oxygen in my face, and I was told to wake up and breathe. I did... slowly. I was told it was done, and the lumps and soreness on my abdomen confirmed it. I wasn't in any great deal of pain, but I would have the occasional pain in my chest for about 5 seconds before it dies down. I was told that was residual air. Ok. My hospital room had DirectTV (they all did), but my remote wouldn't control the volume or power, so the staff became my volume control. Later I found out that my surgery took eleven minutes, since there was a small hiatal hernia that a couple stitches remedies.

After I was in my room about 1-2 hours, I decided to try walking. I ended up walking three laps around the floor, but near the end of the third lap, I started to feel light headed. Off to bed again, and I felt better. I noticed on my way back into my room, they had an ID card letting the world know I had a lap band-- the back had a VG sticker on it. So, I got a Vanguard belt. A couple hours later, I decided to take some laps, but I ended up sitting at one of the community terminals to pound out a quick status report to the forum. My wife called and they transferred it there. But after 10 minutes of sitting, I started to feel light headed. Or was it nausea? I wasn't sure, and knew I didn't want to find out. I made a beeline to my room to lie down, and felt better. Phew!

During that evening, I had some ice chips, a Capri Sun juice, an Otter Pop, and some chicken broth. I tolerated it all well. On an earlier venture to the bathroom, I lifted my gown and found my incisions looking much neater that I thought they would, all nicely glued in place. It almost looked like I had gotten into a nasty tangle with an alley cat.

THE DAY AFTER

The next morning, I had some more juice and chicken broth, and they told me to go ahead and change into my street clothes. Guess that was my subtle hint that I was being deported to the hotel. They offered me the chance to shower, but I decided I could do that just as easily at the hotel, so I packed up. While I was in the waiting room, another patient asked me if I was having my procedure today. They were surprised to hear I had already had it done yesterday! Another was surprised I was wearing jeans comfortably. Both comments made me feel good; that I had tolerated the whole affair well.

So, I'm now in my room, pounding this little recap for all of you and waiting for tomorrow's 7:00am shuttle back to San Diego. I'm going to have a nice shower, go downstairs for some chicken broth and juice, and maybe walk. And there's a basket of fruit in my room, unlike the first room, I had. Who said Mexicans don't have a sense of humor?

I hope this isn't just the end of the story. I hope this is the beginning of a brand new life where I can enjoy 99% of all life has to offer. And for that other 1%? When you have that delicious Diet Pepsi, think of me, would ya?

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I hope this isn't just the end of the story. I hope this is the beginning of a brand new life where I can enjoy 99% of all life has to offer. And for that other 1%? When you have that delicious Diet Pepsi, think of me, would ya?

LOL

GLAD EVERYTHING WENT SO WELL FOR YOU!!!

(OK WHAT'S UP WITH TAKING JAMES PICTURE? JAMES, ARE YOU A PRETTY BOY? LOL)

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(OK WHAT'S UP WITH TAKING JAMES PICTURE? JAMES, ARE YOU A PRETTY BOY? LOL)

Why, yes.... yes, I am.

Seriously, when I checked out of the clinic, I was handed a card that looks like I'm an employee of OCC-- has my picture on the front along with my surgery date, and my incorrect surgery weight. On the back of the card it has a picture of a lap band on a stomach with the paragraph "This Person has an INAMED Adjustable Gastric Band implanted around the stomach to assist in weight loss. Caution should be taken when prescribing potentially ulcerogenic medications or performing any gastric or abdominal procedures. Restauranteer: Please note this patient should be authorized to order from the kids menu, sampler or only appetizers." It also has the Doc's phone number and email address.

This is in addition to the other card I referred to that identifies my band as the VG band.

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Why, yes.... yes, I am.

Seriously, when I checked out of the clinic, I was handed a card that looks like I'm an employee of OCC-- has my picture on the front along with my surgery date, and my incorrect surgery weight. On the back of the card it has a picture of a lap band on a stomach with the paragraph "This Person has an INAMED Adjustable Gastric Band implanted around the stomach to assist in weight loss. Caution should be taken when prescribing potentially ulcerogenic medications or performing any gastric or abdominal procedures. Restauranteer: Please note this patient should be authorized to order from the kids menu, sampler or only appetizers." It also has the Doc's phone number and email address.

This is in addition to the other card I referred to that identifies my band as the VG band.

OK OK LOL WE ALL GOT THE CARD, JUST NOT OUR PICTURES TAKEN :)

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!!!

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James,

Thanks for relating your experience. As I am flying down tomorrow I appreciate the timeliness and hope mine goes as well.

Main question - What's a Fried Pickle? In my 45 years of eating I have never even heard of them, and I worked summers during college at a pickle factory!!

Thanks , good health, and a speedy recovery to you.

Roger

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Main question - What's a Fried Pickle? In my 45 years of eating I have never even heard of them, and I worked summers during college at a pickle factory!!

Roger

Don't feel bad... until a local BBQ joint had opened up, I had never heard of them either. I guess they would be similar to the stereotypical fried green tomatoes. The website to the restaurants is http://www.lucillesbbq.com (careful-- don't go there unless you can stand the pictures!).

SOUTHERN FRIED DILL PICKLES: Sliced dill pickle wedges breaded in our spicy flour and fried crispy. Served with Creole mustard dipping sauce and ranch dressing. The pickles are sliced lengthways and prepared as described above. They come out REALLY hot, and they're delicious. They sound weird... until you've had one.

My local Hooters restaurant has fried pickles too, but they're sliced like coins and don't hold a candle to Lucille's.

If you're ever in Southern California or Vegas, check 'em out. You won't regret it.

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Don't feel bad... until a local BBQ joint had opened up, I had never heard of them either. I guess they would be similar to the stereotypical fried green tomatoes. The website to the restaurants is http://www.lucillesbbq.com (careful-- don't go there unless you can stand the pictures!).

SOUTHERN FRIED DILL PICKLES: Sliced dill pickle wedges breaded in our spicy flour and fried crispy. Served with Creole mustard dipping sauce and ranch dressing. The pickles are sliced lengthways and prepared as described above. They come out REALLY hot, and they're delicious. They sound weird... until you've had one.

My local Hooters restaurant has fried pickles too, but they're sliced like coins and don't hold a candle to Lucille's.

If you're ever in Southern California or Vegas, check 'em out. You won't regret it.

I don't suppose you'd be willing to make me a little counter thing like yours??? It's SOOOO CUTE and I want to use it on my Live Journal!

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