SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2008: Wow! I made the decision. I scheduled the date--December 22, 2008. I paid the deposit. I made airline reservations. I filled out and faxed all of the necessary paperwork. I'm ready. I'm ready for a new beginning. I'm 46 years old. I have been on diets almost my entire life. I remember being teased about my weight in elementary school--2nd grade, I think. I had to have "chubby" clothes. That set the stage for the rest of my life. I can't tell you the number of times people have said, "You have such a pretty face...if you would just lose 30-40 pounds..." I have lost and gained the same 50 pounds umpteen bazillion times--at least it feels like it! My skin has lost all of its elasticity. The past two years, I have stopped losing weight and just kept gaining weight. It's an awful feeling! Out of control. So, I researched. I called. I surfed the web. I talked to friends who have had Lapband surgery. And, I made my decision. Now, some people will think I'm stupid. I'm not morbidly obese. I'm barely obese--according to the BMI gurus! Why do I have to wait to be morbidly obese before I can get help? Well, thank goodness for Dr. Ortiz and Dr. Martinez! I want to be healthy. I want to be active. I want to have self-confidence in the way I look. I want to weigh 120-125 pounds for the rest of my life. No more yo-yo dieting. No more binge eating. My focus is on being and living healthy.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2008: Well, Thanksgiving was interesting. I ate a lot! Why? Because I knew I was going to have lapband surgery on December 22. That's not a very good way to look at things. I need to have a healthy mindset. I need to start exercising now, not wait. I need to start drinking 6-8 glasses of water per day. I need to cut out unhealthy foods--McDonalds, Sonic, etc. Sugar is the devil, I think. And, soda, too. Diet and regular! I've drank diet soda religiously since I was 15 years old. Who cares about water when you can drink diet soda? I have probably killed my bladder by now--at least caused it to have cancer! It's almost as bad as smoking cigarettes! At least, I don't do that.
24 days to go until Surgery Day! I'm going to keep my band a secret. My friend, who is going to have surgery at the same time I do, my youngest daughter (she's 24 years old), who is going with us to Mexico, and my husband are the only ones who will know. Why do I want to keep it a secret? Because many of my friends and family do not agree with having surgery to help you lose weight. They don't believe you should use prescription drugs, either. They believe that if I truly wanted to lose weight and keep it off, I would just eat less and exercise more. End of story. Wouldn't that be wonderful if it was that easy? Nobody would be overweight if it were that easy. My younger brother and his wife run in triathlons--they really don't understand.