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So I told my husband I wanted to have lap band surgery...


HollywoodHairlines

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I decided to tell my husband about wanting to pursue lap band surgery last night. Needless to say it did not go well. Mostly because he feels that it is #1 a waste of money, and #2 a cop-out of sorts. But, in all honesty, I knew he would have that reaction so I cannot even say that I am surprised. I guess I was hoping that he would say "Sureeeee! Let's book the appointment today!" Wishful thinking I know. I can't expect him to know how it feels to have a weight problem because after all, he's looked perfect his entire life so he knows nothing different. Sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers and put 50 extra pounds on him so he could feel what it is like to carry the extra weight.

I have been dealing with weight issues for 15 years now and I am at the point where I am ready to make the change. I am tired of it ALWAYS being an issue in my head and dominating my life. I just want to wake up one day and not think about my FAT. Is that too much to ask for? Is that selfish? I do not think so. Then my husband has the nerve to compare me wanting to spend $7K for lap band to him wanting to buy a pleassure car???? WTF???? How do you compare a neccessity (health) to a luxury item (car)?

Today we talked about it again and after I asked him not to discuss it with anyone he tells me that he called his friend who is a doctor to ask about nutrition. The gesture was nice but he does not get it. I know about nutrition, I know what I am SUPPOSE to eat, I just don't. At least not consistently. He thinks that we can start a crusade to loose the fat! It sounds great but this is what I have been trying to do for 15 years! Now he sees how serious I am in terms of getting surgery that now he wants me to try his way. How many times have I done that in the past and failed? I am tired of failing, DIETS DON"T WORK! I am ready for this lifestyle change and so help me GOD I am going to do it.

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I swear I could've written that myself. I told my husband that he doesn't have to understand WHY it's important to me, he just has to understand that it's important. My husband is one of those very fortunate people that gets sexier the older he gets. He'll never understand. I stopped trying to explain it to him and he stopped bitching about it. He went to my last consultation with me and was able to hear everything the doctor had to say. I think he feels a lot better about it now. In fact he may even be a little excited. He's never known me thin. The cost is definately hard to swallow right now, but I figure now is as good a time as any. So hang in there, do your research and hopefully your husband will come around. If not, well, it's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. And if it's so bad that he leaves you then at least you are on your way to sexy healthiness and you can find someone else. I hope it doesn't come to that though. It'll work out how it's supposed to.

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I swear I could've written that myself. I told my husband that he doesn't have to understand WHY it's important to me, he just has to understand that it's important. My husband is one of those very fortunate people that gets sexier the older he gets. He'll never understand. I stopped trying to explain it to him and he stopped bitching about it. He went to my last consultation with me and was able to hear everything the doctor had to say. I think he feels a lot better about it now. In fact he may even be a little excited. He's never known me thin. The cost is definately hard to swallow right now, but I figure now is as good a time as any. So hang in there, do your research and hopefully your husband will come around. If not, well, it's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. And if it's so bad that he leaves you then at least you are on your way to sexy healthiness and you can find someone else. I hope it doesn't come to that though. It'll work out how it's supposed to.

Thanks for your comment! I thought I was the only one out there for a moment. What was your husband's biggest reservation? Does he have no problem at all with your size? I ask because my husband prefers full figured but not fat women. Sometimes I think about what if I have the surgery and get too small? Will he then no longer attracted to me? But then I have to remind myself why and for who I am doing this, ME. I guess we will just have to find that happy medium.

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wow! :lb16: I can dido your husband’s comments with my husband... it is amazing he does not see the relation of how this can aid my weight loss and make me feel good about myself. He thinks I just do not try hard enough. He has never struggled with weight.. he has been thin his whole life. I too have struggled with my weight for about 20 years with the yo-yo diets, latest pill popping remedies and exercise videos, and after having my first child 4 years ago; I am at my maximum weight. :lb20: My max of depression, my max of frustration and my max of options. It is exhausting to have weight be an issue with me every waking moment. I cannot help but think how it has affected my life. I have no pictures in my home of myself because I hate looking at myself especially displayed in frame or on the wall….yuck. My husband’s concern is that we are going to make an investment on this for me and what if I disappoint myself again. He has a friend who had gastric bypass 5 years ago, he lost a lot of weight initially but today he looks like he never had the surgery he is back to how he looked before actually he looks even bigger. I've been slowing depositing money to the OCC to slowly pay for my surgery so it does not impact us financially so that cannot be a reason for him getting upset but I too am scared that I will fail. I hope the lap band procedure will really assistant in my weight loss so he can’t give me that look of "I told you so". :lb11: to you both!

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Looks like we have a lot in common. I brought up the subject with my husband last fall and had pretty much the same reaction. I almost had the surgery then but he talked me out of it. Just think I would be close to my goal weight if I had gone through with the surgery then. He also has never had a problem with his weight and looks great. I have heard about my weight problems from him for the last 12 years when I started putting on weight. So, it behoves me why he can not support me in this journey. He just dose not understand and says all I have to do is eat less and exercise more. Of course I know that, I am a nurse for goodness sake. I still struggle with my weight all the time. Oh well I will never make him understand or have his blessing. I need to take care of my health. I am going to be banded on July 14th for myself and not for anyone else. I do have a good support group of friends behind me in this endeavor. I wish you all the best. I am glad for this forum so we can support each other.

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Could also have been me!!!! Amazing, people without weight issues all have the same response. I'm doing it anyway and have explained how tired I am. It got worse when I said I was going to Mexico......

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I told my husband I wanted the lap-band because it would help with my weight issue, which would help with my self-esteem, which would lead me wanting more sex. He couldn't write the check fast enough.

Most men don't take much into account unless it deals with food, cars or sex. I love my band, and am losing weight everyday. Good luck to you!

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I have been talking about it for 2 years, and finally I have booked an appointment. My husband initially shrugged it off.After bringing it up so much he finally said those beautiful words"GO FOR IT "".I thank god he is on my side because I really believe that my weight would cause alot of Health issues in the future. I think once you come to your end of your rope you KNOW you need help, so if your there DO get some HELP, no matter what or who !! Take care of yourself! cause if you don't who will ?

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