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Self esteem / Bread / Cake / Fill



Self esteem – Feels so good! Looking better….oh, wait…..a compliment! I am at the 40 lbs lost mark. (happy dance) A co-worker said she could see I was loosing weight. YES! Love it! That makes 4 people I work with who have noticed a change! Thank heavens, I was starting to wonder if people were blind!! It is amazing how you can loose weight and no one will comment. It feels good to see and feel the changes I have with my own body, and yet when someone else notices it it’s like icing on top of the cake!

Speaking of cake….I made one this weekend. It boggles my mind that I am able to eat cake. (&*%^$#@) Now, on the other hand I was listening to an outside source tell me how I shouldn’t cut bread out of my diet all together. How bad it is to eliminate certain foods from my diet. (You know people who are up in your business and telling you what to do concerning your diet; that are not bandsters.) So I listened.

What the heck was I thinking?! I bought some appetizer whole wheat bread to try. The bread is sliced at ¼ inch or so, pretty darn thin. I toasted it and put some tuna and egg on it. First bite “seemed” to go down, I chew the dickens out of it, and so I took my second bite; again chewing like crazy. Uhtt oh as my toddler would say….I felt what I thought was a soft stop. Immediately I stop eating and think to myself, I won’t be able to eat more of my sandwich if it doesn’t pass. THEN my mouth started to water. Crap’o’la! I made my way to the kitchen and well you know the rest. Bread is a no go for me know. Cake….cake I can do….you got to be kidding me!

I’ve thought long and hard about this next fill. Right now I can eat ½ cup to 1 cup of food depending on what it is and the time of day. Some times I can eat over 1 cup. In the mornings I notice my serving size is more ½ cup ish if the food is solid or not a slider food, such as greek yogurt. If I eat yogurt I can eat the full cup. From what I’ve read, the ideal portion size is ¼ cup. Good Lord Have Mercy! It’s such a small amount of food. I purchased some ½ cup containers this weekend and they look so small. Each fill I get better and better restriction, adjust to smaller portions and get further away from my need to eat larger portions of food. This is a good thing! I’ve decided to push the fill. I am going to the next size down pouch/stoma.

I’ve watched a shit ton of you tube videos and the people who are skinny and at goal seem to have a common portion size. SMALL! So I am working toward that. I have my doubts about doing this, but I figure if it does not work for me and unfill is a phone call away. I am focused on being positive and pushing out the negative. Now, if my weight loss had not stalled out, I would be happy to stay right where I am. Wish me a good fill and think happy thoughts for me ya’ll! Here we go! Let’s get thin together!


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