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kibble

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Everything posted by kibble

  1. I've been so upset over this restriction/no weight loss issue that I binged. I ate 3/4 of an entire Edwards Key Lime pie last night. I'm still sick this morning!!! I haven't binged like that a very long time. I know this is a head game. I just can't seem to make this happen. Maybe I'll always be fat. (sigh) I feel so awful. Both physically and emotionally. Why is this so damn hard?
  2. I cannot wrap my brain around what good restriction should feel like. I've been filled twice. The first time...I didn't notice any difference. The second time, I noticed a difference but I can still eat a lot. So.....tonight for dinner, I ate 1 lean hamburger patty with swiss cheese, grilled mushrooms and onions 1/2 cup baked beans 1 cup of fresh fruit small handful of potato chips small slice of key lime pie If I was properly restricted, would I be able to eat all of that? I haven't lost any weight in 2 months. Haven't gained either but this is really getting me down. I expected to lose at least 2 lbs. a week. Can anyone help me understand what restriction should feel like? Tell me what and how much you are eating. Thanks for the support.
  3. Thank you all so much for your support. This is just plain hard...I don't care how you do it. I feel a little more motivated today. I certainly don't want to go through an episode like I did last night. YUCK! I still feel nauseated this morning from that 30 minute slime party. Thanks again! Kim
  4. I am sliming or throwing up about every 30 seconds while I'm posting this. I got banded June 9, 2008 and I haven't ever felt like this! This week has been a struggle. I lost 20 lbs in my post op liquid phase and then nothing else. I got my first fill. Still nothing. Felt no restriction...etc. I had my 2nd fill 2 weeks ago and I can really tell the difference. Good restriction. My struggle is that since I'm restricted I'm expecting the weight to melt off. My calories never go above 1200 and sometimes they are way too low...like 700. I'm not ever really that hungry. But since I love food, I often eat when I'm not hungry. Anyone relate to that? :-) I've been jumping on the scales twice a day and they just aren't moving. Some days I wonder why I paid all this money! Nights are the worse. I am a snacker. Tonight, I tried to avoid it. I finally gave in and raided the pantry. I grabbed graham crackers of all things. I spread a little pb on it and wolfed it down. Now I'm throwing up or sliming. It isn't pretty. I was stupid. I thought getting the band would "cure" me. I thought the weight would melt off and I wouldn't even have to try very hard. I wouldn't be able to eat more than a few spoonfuls at a time so the weight would have to come off. I thought it wouldn't matter what I ate since I couldn't eat much anyway. The reality for me is....I still have to learn to conquer the head hunger and food addiction. I have to learn how to cope with stress without food. I have to stay off that scale and not become obsessed with it. I hate hearing the magic words "The band is just a tool". Now I know why I hate it. I was hoping the tool would do the work. It just isn't going to happen that way. I went to my family doc last week and told him about the band. He informed me that he has lots of patients with the band and it just doesn't seem to be as successful as they all had hoped. He said gastric bypass was the one sure way to get it off. My shoulders just slumped. This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. I had dreams of size 8's. I dreamed of shopping in regular misses sizes. I dreamed of fitting into an airplane seat without squishing the person beside me! Now I'm wondering if I will make it. This just sucks for me right now! (
  5. I was banded in June and once the liquid phase was up...I could eat anything I wanted. I could also eat as much as I wanted. Even with that...I didn't gain. I just didn't lose either. I had my first fill at OCC. I was disappointed because I still felt no restriction. They only gave me .8 and I could still eat whatever and how much ever I wanted. I know the band is a tool. I know about the food guidelines. But I am still dealing with all the food issues that made me fat to begin with. If I could follow those guidelines without restriction...I wouldn't need the band. Duh! Well....I got my 2nd fill last week. 1 cc making a total of 1.8 cc. Oh my goodness what a difference! I am hardly ever hungry. When I eat, I darn well better chew or it is stuck for certain. Sometimes...it feels stuck even when I do chew. The weird thing is knowing when I've had enough to eat. I'm not ever hungry so I don't notice the hunger going away. The only sign I get is when I start feeling like the food is about to come back up. It doesn't take much food for this to happen. I realized today that I'm still trying to eat normal portions and I simply can't. If I stop early, I feel fine. I still want the food. It is good and I've only had a few bites. But that too full feeling is a great deterrant. YUCK. I've PB'd 3 or 4 times before figuring this out. I'm dealing with head hunger at night. I want to eat around 9:00 p.m. so badly I can't stand it. The other thing is sweets. I want brownies and cookies and cakes. I am hoping the sweet cravings will go away once I've deprived myself long enough. Right now...I could eat key lime pie all day and never want other food. So, the questions I have answered now are: What does restriction feel like? How do you know when you've eaten enough? What does PB'ing feel like? Now I have more questions. When the weight is gone, will I always be fighting the "getting stuck" part so much? How much restriction is needed for maintenance? I'm seriously hoping it is less than I have now. Why do you need to get more fills over time? If you put in 2cc's...you don't lose that amount. The hole doesn't get bigger. Why isn't the restriction I'm feeling now...going to last till the end? I hope everyone is doing well tonight. I am starting to get hope again that this thing might work for me. This is also the first time since surgery that I've started wondering if I made a mistake. I don't seem to enjoy my meals anymore. I keep fighting the "stuck" thing. I'm not a good chewer. I'm working on that.
  6. I got my second fill. I feel more restricted in that I am having more difficulty swallowing my pills. I can tell I have to take smaller bites and chew more or things will get stuck. I am not has hungry as before...but when I am....I can eat the same quantity as before the fill. What is up with that? I know my band hasn't slipped. Shouldn't I get full faster?
  7. Thanks so much for that info! It really put my mind at ease. What you are saying makes sense. I was 100% compliant with the liquid phase post op. The thing about this second fill. I can fill greater restriction when things are going down. I have to eat smaller bites and chew more than before. But I can still eat as much as before. Is that normal?
  8. This was my second fill. I like the 24 hour answer much better. Everything feels fine. Nothing feels irritated. I hope I'm ok.
  9. Dr. Ortiz says 3 days of liquids after fills. My fill dr. in Texas says 7 days. My friend got banded in Mexico (not at OCC) and her doc says 2 days. What is the deal here???? I had my fill this afternoon and i had a very small meal tonight. Everything feels fine. I'm not sure why I did it. I meant to wait the 3 days. But there is so much stress in my house right now. I would be bathing in chocolate if I could. Have I ruined my $8,000 surgery by eating on day 1 after a fill???
  10. I was banded June 9. I lost 20 lbs. in the liquid post diet phase. I've not lost another pound since then and it's been a month on solids. I can eat as much of anything as I want. Anything. So I made an appt. and got a fill at OCC. They only put in .8 cc's and said I came too soon and should have waited longer. I came at 5 1/2 weeks because I knew I would be travelling for 2 months and not able to do it until after that. I was also eating what I wanted. I'm not gaining. I'm just not losing. I have made an appt. for a second fill but they want me to wait another 4 weeks. Here is my question. What does good restriction mean? I thought I was not going to physically be able to eat as much as I used to. I can eat an entire plate of mexican food and desset! Is that normal? I'm not hungry very much but I'm eating anyway...and all the wrong things. I just found out my dad was diagnosed with a terminal cancer and I'm an emotional wreck. Of course, I want to bathe in chocolate. I am starting to feel this whole thing is a waste of money I don't have to waste. I'm getting pretty down.
  11. I spoke too soon. I'm starting to feel a little bit hungry. Thankfully, I've discovered peanut butter milkshakes at Dairy Queen and that little bit of added protein seems to keep me full longer. I try not to indulge more than once a day.
  12. I was banded on June 9th and I'm still not hungry. Has anyone else experienced this? I am guessing there is still swelling. I am curious to know if that is common. I emailed OCC and Dr. Ortiz called me the next morning (how amazing is that? No such after care in US) and he suggested 2 tylenol daily for 2 days to bring down swelling. Then I thought...hmmmm...maybe I want to keep the swelling until I'm on solid foods!! I have so much trouble swallowing my pills (that can't be crushed) and drinking some things that I am beginning to worry I won't ever be able to eat solid foods.
  13. I won't get the PB and eggs for another 2 weeks....but I'm still dreaming of them. Are you doing a mushy stage? Miranda told me "no mushies". Liquids for 3 weeks and then straight to solids.
  14. I start creamy soups tomorrow. I'm so tired of juice and clear liquids. I'm dreaming of peanut butter and scrambled eggs. I am on day 6. When does the hunger come? Also...was anyone else in more pain after surgery than they expected to be? I think I'm over doing it.
  15. Denise... I actually typed the wrong date! You would think I'd have it etched in my memory. My surgery is June 9th. I'll be arriving on the Saturday before. There are no fill centers close to me.....I believe the closest was a 6 hour drive. What happens if you drive all that way and then it is too tight and you are throwing up? I'm trying to think of all the possible outcomes and prepare for them. Kim
  16. I'm schedule for Dr. Ortiz on June 10th and I'm beginning to get cold feet. Freezing cold feet. What do you guys do about after care when you get home??? I can't come to Tijuana for fills. What happens if you have an emergency or a complication? I'm betting insurance won't cover them since they won't cover my surgery. I'm interested in solutions any of you have found to after care.
  17. I am being banded on the 9th of June....if I don't chicken out first. I'm really concerned with getting after care in Dallas once I get home.
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