So, I've made my decision to get lap band surgery. I have a friend who was banded almost three years ago; I see her at least every other week and I've seen the many positive changes that she's gone through since her surgery. And I'm not talking just the obvious physical changes, but also the mental, emotional and psychological changes, too. I've been thinking about doing this since Linda had hers done, but for one reason or another, I kept putting it off...
Let me give you a little bit of background on myself. My birthday was last week and I turned 49. I'm 5'9.5" and I weigh 283 pounds. I started having babies at 20 and there hasn't been a day since then (almost 30 years now) that I was under 200. I think I *might* have seen 210 for about two hours close to 15 years ago, but that's about it. I've probably lost and gained the same 50-60 pounds about twenty times now. Everyone in my family is big. I'm the oldest of three sisters and all of us are extremely overweight. I've always been big and I *absolutely* cannot wait until I *don't* see myself as being big when I look in the mirror.
Now that I have started the ball rolling (I've taken some money out of my 401K and I'm waiting to receive the check), I've discovered this forum and it's made me stop and think about the things that I'm *really* looking forward to, once I have some of this weight off:
Like...tying my shoes the 'normal' way, instead of having to use my pant leg to pull my ankle up to my other knee so that I can even *reach* my shoes. Oh, and don't even *think* about having your pants zipped up for this one...they need to be un-zipped so you can bend down enough to reach! It's either that or wear slip-on shoes!
Like...not feeling like an orangutan when I'm in the tub...my boobies hang to my tummy and my tummy hangs to my knees.
Like...not letting food dictate what I'm going to do that day...you know, what I'm gonna have for breakfast and then what I'll have for lunch with the girls, and we can go to '_________' and I can have '_______'. Seems like my life revolves around my 'dates' with food!
Like...feeling comfortable enough with my body that I can wear shorts again.
Like...not having to wear 3X pantyhose. Even Queen-size pantyhose will be an improvement!
Like...walking into a room full of strangers and not feeling like everyone is making fun of how big I am.
Like...not *having* to shop at Lane Bryant for new clothes. It would be nice to *enjoy* clothes shopping at some point.
Like...actually looking forward to moving my body, instead of dreading exercise.
Now, I know that this is a life-long journey and it's not going to be easy. I'm perfectly okay with that. I'd be stupid to think of it any other way. I just know in my heart that *this* is what I need to do, for me, right now. I'll have help from you guys here (I've already learned a TON from you!) and I'll have personal help from Linda, who can walk me through everything. In fact, she's going with me when I get my surgery.
Am I excited? You bet! Am I scared? Of course! Am I ready for my new life? Without a doubt!! Look out world, here I come!!
Hugs,
