friendofbanded

I will mention this to her. I think the only barrier will be her fear that she won't lose weight as fast if she does that but it sounds like what she's doing now can cause damage to her band so maybe that will be enough to get her to go.

I'm not the most diplomatic person in the world, so I appreciate the suggestion She is being a beeatch sometimes and my only worry is that she can't seem to see it. She accused one of our friends of being jealous of her and toxic, when really IMO she was just tired of the beeatch behavior and wouldn't put up with it. She can't accuse me of being jealous since my weight has been under control for a few years (I could definitely relate to her weight struggles prior to that time!) but she's called me oversensitive before when I snapped back at her. Back then I was worried about losing the friendship so I didn't tell her how I felt about her behavior, but at this point I need to either deal with this issue or I'm not going to want to continue being her friend anyways.

Thank you for the response also:) I have suggested these sites to her, but she has no interest. There is even a support group/follow up program in the area that I found for her, but she won't go to that either. It's like she wants to pretend she never had a lapband at all. She's not anemic (had that workup at her yearly physical). Other than when you were defficient in vits, did you have the same energy levels as before you were banded? I'm not sure if it's the caloric restriction making her tired. Again, not being banded myself I don't know what's normal. I've dieted, but never to 900-1000 calories a day. I would imagine that would make someone tired at first, but then your body would adapt. She does take vitamins, but other than that seems very unwilling to do anything to improve her health. I think that's part of why I am getting so frustrated with her. She's taken on a surgical alteration which you all obviously seem to know requires a HUGE lifestyle change but won't make the necessary changes to feel ok and won't even seek out information about what "normal" is after this procedure. She'll tell me all her problems but she won't call and ask her doctor if that's normal or what she should do in the meantime. It seems like she believes that as long as she's losing weight, nothing else matters. My mother had gastric bypass in the 90s and went through fewer problems. I never anticipated all this with my friend. I'm beginning to think her weight was never her real problem and it was just a symptom of greater psychological issues. Depression would certainly explain all her symptoms (weight problems, lethargy, inactivity, loss of interest in the world, impatience with others, snapping over little things). I'm tempted to broach that with her, but I keep telling myself this might be completely normal and explainable because of the lapband and I should stop being a mini Oprah/DrPhil .

Thanks for the response. I guess not being banded, I don't really know the difference in PBing and puking. Basically she'll overdo it at a meal and then have to throw it all up within an hour. It's more than a burp to me. It also seems to come on VERY suddenly. Like if she doesn't run for the bathroom, she would be throwing up on the floor. It isn't usually at the beginning or during a meal, it's afterwards. She didn't make it to a bathroom on one occasion and another one of our friends asked if she was bulimic. It seems like it almost always after rich pasta dishes, which has always been her craving food.

I looked on the forum but didn't find this topic really covered much. Just like my user name implies, a friend of mine had a lapband. It's been successful in the sense that she's lost weight. The downside is she's changed. I mean, her personality not just her body. On the physical side she has very little energy and can't even seem to do her job well anymore because she's so tired. She stopped doing any exercise once she got the band, she won't even go for a walk. She's also throwing up fairly often (1-3 times a week usually after a pasta meal). I know that's a normal part of figuring things out when you first get a band, but should it still be happening a year out? It makes me sad to hear her talk about it like it's normal. I'm uncomfortable discussing it. Would you think it was completely unreasonable to ask her not to tell me about her vomitting? I've come to accept that she's not going to stop doing what makes her vomit, and since she hasn't told most of her other friends I feel awkward knowing all I do but participating in hiding it from others. I'm trying to be supportive of her and respect that she doesn't want everyone to know, but at the same time it's really making me uncomfortable when the topic of discussion becomes how great her diet and exercise plan is and how healthy she's become. She's also become very snappy. I know I would probably be a little cranky if my food intake was restricted, but at the same time I'm tired of being on the receiving end of her comments. I didn't make her get this surgery. At first I thought I was just being overly sensitive, but other people have noticed it too. I'm starting to wonder if her weight issue was more of a symptom of a larger problem and now that food is gone she's having trouble coping. She had no psych screening before the surgery and her only after surgery care is appointments for fills with her surgeon. Is this the routine? I would've thought some sort of psych help or support from other banded people would be beneficial. Did any of you go through this after the surgery? I'm still holding out hope things can get better but that hope is fading....