
BSN
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Update.
Lots has happened since my last post here.
First of all, I found out what my problem is. When people eat their stomach churns and works hard to break down food so it can pass through the GI system. My stomach works REALLY hard at this task. IOW, when I eat my stomach goes into overdrive and bottom line, my stoma closes. So I am now taking drugs to prevent stomach spasms. It is working sometimes. I still can't eat fruits and veggies yet I can eat dried fruits and veggies. The dried veggies I eat taste just like potato chips so I feel like I'm cheating but the scale tells me different. I was banded in December, I have lost 70 lbs, I have 32 to go. I can't eat meat but that's okay with me, I was a vegetarian for many years and am more than happy to go back to that lifestyle.
Talked to hubby about plastic surgery. Any guesses as to what he said? He said NO!
Asked hubby to move out about a month ago, we need time apart.
I am not done losing weight so I can't do a tummy tuck yet but I can have breast implants and a breast lift. I have an appt for this soon. I am still undecided about plastic surgeons but I am going for two consultations. One in the US with a friend and one in Mexico.
The tummy tuck will comes two months after I reach goal, I'm banking on two months to goal and two months after that I can have surgery. My big goal is this, I discovered the band existed 11/6/06. Surgery was 12/6/06. I had band surgery in December, I want to lose 102 lbs and have plastic surgery before my year is up. I want plastic surgery on or before 11/5/07. Then ALL my goals will be met. However, if the truth be known my *real* goal is to work out problems with hubby by August as our 20 year anniversary is then. I think we can do it, time will tell. But I will have plastic surgery. He is a doc and his primary concern is unnecessary surgery. He doesn't see the value in cutting into healthy tissue for no medical reason. I understand his stance, however I think he does not understand mine.
Now that I have time to myself and no hubby to worry about my volunteer time has increased. I'm back to volunteering in Nogales, Mexico... something I really love doing. I'm considering joining a program for those interested in understanding the Mexican culture. For $2K you live with a typical Mexican family for six weeks. While they do understand English they refuse to speak in English. I would live with the family and take four Spanish lessons daily. It sounds beyond FANTASTIC to me! Something I really couldn't do as a regular married person. After having surgery in Mexico and seeing the HUGE difference I just can't get enough of the Mexican medical culture. I am verrry impressed with their views and ways of doing things. If I can be half as good as a Mexican nurse, I am happy. Anyone who has already had surgery in Mexico knows full well what I am describing.
Hubby moved to the same apartment complex he was living in when we met. A very nice place, we are basically starting over.
I have a lot of thinking to do and decisions to make. I'll take the thoughts and opinions of anyone who cares to offer them. Life is a funny thing, it really makes us ponder our choices at times. It makes us come to decisions we never in a million years thought we would be up against. But I also realize that only good things can come from much soul searching.
You guys have been beyond fantastic throughout all this. I can never thank you enough. I don't want to bore people with details, but if anyone is interested I will post updates.
Thanks to Michele for giving me the courage to continue with my updates.
Cheers!
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HA! I just read my own post. That was a disjointed post that hardly makes sense.
If you start from the last paragraph and read up it almost makes more sense! Heh... Sorry about that.
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I took a friend to Mexico to my original surgeon 7 weeks ago for her own band, last Saturday we went back for her first fill. My surgeon and I had a long talk and he is willing to do whatever it takes to (hopefully) fix this problem.
He offered to do it right then and there but anything regarding fills makes me barf non stop. I don't even eat or drink anything, within an hour of a tiny fill I can't keep saliva down. I didn't want to do the tests on Saturday because I was with two friends and we had plans for Sat evening in Mexico and I didn't want to mess up our plans.
So, I have an appt for noon tomorrow. He's going to close my band and have me drink barium and see what everything looks like under fluoro. I'm not clear on why it makes a difference to close my band completely for this but regardless, that's the plan. Then he's going to take all of it out except for a verrrry small fill. Then, two hours after that look under fluoro again.
My big issue with my surgeon is that he insists my vomiting is causing swelling. I insist it is the other way around, the swelling is causing vomiting. When I get a fill within 1 hour I am barfing non stop. It's saliva. My stoma swells shut. So tomorrow I'm going to prove it to him. He said if that is the case it may just be stomach spasms.
So I'm leaving either tonight or in the morning, my appt is at noon. If this can't be fixed that I am going to follow through with my original plans to have Dr. Ortiz remove the band completely.
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WELL THEN I'M GLAD YOU DID WHAT YOU DID. IT WASN'T ABOUT HIM, IT WAS ALL ABOUT YOU!!!
THERE WOULD BE NO NEED IN A RELATIONSHIP TO SAY NO TO ONES PARTNER AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED....... EVER!!! DO THE HUBBY AND I DISCUSS? YES. BUT WE LEAVE IT UP TO EACH OTHER WHAT WE WANT AND DON'T WANT. I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO AND EXPECT, GET, THE SAME IN RETURN.
He knows that now. As he explains it, it was more of a reaction than a response. Things kinda grew from there and got out of hand.
He shouldn't have said no, and I shouldn't have lied after I had it done. We are kinda sorta even in a weird sort of way. HA!
I am still on liquids and need to get my band issues resolved but I am still unsure what I want to do. Weight loss is fantastic, I might keep it until goal. Not sure yet.
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I'VE BEEN READING THIS THREAD NOW FOR MONTHS AND IT'S AMAZING TO ME HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE
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I think a lot of it has to do with communal funds, not what you are or aren't doing with your body. I'm not married, but if I was, I know I'd at least talk about an $9K+ expenditure.
I did, he said no. I earned half that money too so I did what I did. It wasn't the money that was an issue, it was the surgery.
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I was banded on March 5th, I started at 236 but was down to 220 preop, now Im 218, I am doing everything I am supposed to and following the diet, I dont understand why Im only down 2 pounds since surgery. Anyone else have this same situation? Just curious and getting very discouraged . Katie
No worries. When you have surgery you swell so your body retains a LOT of fluids. Pretty soon you'll see the pounds melting like a Chocolate bar in the desert sun!
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Hi all-
I just read all the posts here.....BSN how are you doing? Did you get the band removed or did Dr. Ortiz fix it? I too have decided to do this surgery without telling anyone. I am a single parent and very close to my parents, but this has been a very difficult decision and a deeply personal one. When I decided to do it, it was like admitting that I had a major problem that I could not fix. I am a "fix it" person and that distresses me. Yes, I have lost my 100 lbs before, only to gain it back.....you know the yo yo. I chose to make this a permanent decision and something that will keep me under control for the rest of my life. I am scared...I go for surgery tomorrow. I fly to Southern California for school every six weeks, so I just extended my trip to include the surgery, telling all that I had to take an extra class. I feel horrible about lying, but also afraid of someone trying to talk me out of this decision, or making me feel ashamed of this decision. I want to be proud of what I have chosen for myself. I hope it goes well.....because as everyone else on this board, we have have invested a lot of time, hopes, and money into this decision.
I will let you know how the surgery goes!!
Melissa
Melissa...
Are you home yet? If not, you should be home soon!
Keep in mind something about the band. The band is hard, it is very hard. As I have written before being on a low fat/no flavor diet over a long period of time is something most of us can't do but being banded is something most of us can do. They are both hard but being banded is the kind of hard most can do.
While I would never suggest someone not tell their spouse about surgery
not telling other family members is totally acceptable. You don't tell your parents about your sex life, why would you tell them about a personal medical decision?
With that said, I think you'll find that eventually you will want to tell them. I was dead set on not telling people before surgery but now I have told a few people. Just remember the "telling" rule of thumb. Once you tell someone about surgery you can never take it back. Yet, you can always decide to tell someone about this at a later time.
Good luck to you! I'm anxious to hear how you are doing.
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BSN,
Well I'm glad for you that that cat is almost out of the bag. I knew he'd figure it out. You girls don't give us enuff credit about noticing the small changes. Sure we might not notice of you got the 1/2 inches cut off your hair or whatever..
And why DON'T you guys notice this stuff?? A half inch is a lot! LOL
about the barfin... I'm glad you talked to Dr. Ortiz... if there is ANYONE around that knows the band... its him. The fact that he wanted to hear your story before he would do anything tells me he believes in what he does. Because this is an elective operation, some Dr's will take your "personal reasons" as enuff to take the band out. Dr. Ortiz is gonna want a little more. I'm sure he could take your money and take it out and never ask why, but he's got a little more character than that. If you are a BSN as yer name states... you know what i'm talking about.Yes, I do have to give him a great deal of credit for that. He basically suggested doing the test and regardless of what it shows if I want him to remove it he will. But he went on to suggest that I should at least know why I am having it removed.
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Wow, I've never heard of a mini-slip. Thanks so much for posting about it! I agree that you should do the barium swallow before having it removed. I mean, how much of a PITA would it be if you went through all of this and got it removed if there is a chance it can be fixed and work properly!
I used the wrong term, it is called a partial slip. I've since learned a great deal about partial slips. There is some amount of disagreement on how they are diagnosed but the treatment is typically to stay in full liquids for a few weeks and see what happens. I almost do that on a regular basis anyway so I am trying that, just full liquids. Hopefully that will resolve it. If it doesn't then I had planned to have it removed.
Had a verrrrry long talk with my husband for the first time. I mean we really talked. He's totally cool with everything. I think he realized that first of all, he should have realized my personality and telling me I *can't* do something is not wise. Discussion and disagreement are fine but flat out telling me what I can or cannot do is not a workable plan. Also, he wasn't listening to me and didn't take into consideration how serious this issue (weight) is for me. We both made mistakes here and we discussed that in detail.
He said he knew about the surgery since the first time he came home after my surgery but I really don't believe that.
I think he has known for a long time but not *quite* as long as he claims.
Although I had planned on having the band removed if full liquids didn't do the trick my hubby disagrees. At least this time he didn't tell me I CAN'T have it removed! LOL But he does disagree with my decision so I agreed to have the test and we'll take it from there. I kinda sorta owe him that much.
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Man, you've just had quite the trial with this thing! I'm so sorry
. I guess it's never going to be a good end result for everyone, since everyone's body reacts differently to foreign invaders. Perhaps it's kind of like organ transplants - your body rejected the band. That just bites though! I wish you the best of luck in having the band removed and returning to heath as soon as possible. Please keep us advised!
Interesting conversation w/Dr. Ortiz.
I was calling around just getting prices for having my band removed and most just gave me the price I was asking about. When I got to Ortiz' name the girl wanted to know why I was having it removed. I just said it was personal choice, I didn't want to go into all the details. She pushed and again I said it was just personal choice. I just didn't feel like talking about it.
Long story short and Dr. Ortiz got on the phone. He asked why I was having it removed and I repeated again, personal choice. He was very nice but pretty much explained he wouldn't feel comfortable removing it without understanding why I wanted it removed. So, I finally told him I barf, blah blah blah. I warned him, DON'T SUGGEST TO ME THAT I FOLLOW THE RULES! I *am* following the rules and if one more person assumes I'm not, I will scream. He laughed and promised he wouldn't do that.
He asked a bunch of questions and asked if I had a specific type of barium swallow. I said I had a barium swallow x3 and it was normal. He said no, that was the standard barium swallow. He went on to explain that the test I need is when they completely close my band and THEN have me drink barium. (I'm thinking, oh great... I can barf in front of everyone now) I told him no, I have never heard of that specific test. He said the anatomy is a great deal different on that test vs. a standard barium swallow. He swears my problem is a mini-slip. Instead of a standard slipped band, it's a mini slip instead and this apparently does not show up on a standard barium swallow. I was in a really bad mood that day so I didn't take the time to ask just what that is, but he seemed quite sure that is the problem.
I'm not sure what I'll do. I am really, seriously, truely tired. I don't know if I want to fight this thing anymore. I'm thinking I'll just have it removed but that's not a given. I don't really know what to do.
Anyway, just thought it was worth mentioning that instead of getting an easy surgery and quick money, he prefers to do a $100 test first. He deserves credit for that in my book.
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Hi, my mom and I are planning on having surger but we are confused as to what option to go with, the gastric-bypass or the lapband. My Grandma had the gastric-bypass and has had a few problems with it as to what she can eat. She gets gas when she eats certain foods and cant handle other foods and I was wondering if you have those possibilities with the lapband? Also, do you have to have the band replaced after so many years? I have a Dr appt on Feb. 21st and my mom and I have to have our minds made up by then as to what option we want to do so I am hoping someone can help me with the concerns that I have! Thanks
You couldn't pay me to have bypass, I'll keep my parts thenk ya bery much! ;o) Seriously, bypass removes the part of your intestine that is responsible for absorbing Vitamin B12 and Calcium from your food before letting it pass through. Bone loss is a huge issue with bypass patients. Ever seen those people that have a hump at their shoulders? That is bone loss. They have to take oral and injectable supplements for the rest of their lives to try and undo the damage from the surgery.
Bypass surgery is painful, recovery is long, and depending on the research material you read it has between 100-500x the risk of banding. However, understand it is a MINIMUM of 100x riskier than banding.
Stats show that after five years bypass patients have only lost 1% more weight than banding and after 7 years more banded people have kept their weight off where bypass tends to gain it back.
There there is the stink factor. Ever been near a bypass person that just pooped? Or had to fart in the middle of the room because they had no control over gas? The stench has cost marriages. There are pills some people have to buy to control odor because those around them just can't hack the extreme stench.
Considering banding is so much safer, less envasive, less risky, less stinky, weight loss is the same after five years and better stats after 7 years... for the life of me I can't imagine why anyone would want bypass. Go to www.obesityhelp.com and read the memorial page. Those that died from WLS are bypass patients, not banded patients.
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I hope that you are doing better with the band. I had a band also, and experienced problems with vomiting. After numerous medical test and different medications over a two and a half year period, I had the band removed in Dec. 2006. So far I can honestly say, It was well worth the risk of removing it. I feel great, and wonder why I ever waited so long to remove it. Best of luck to you.
Did you gain weight after having it removed?
Did you have problems finding a doc to remove the band?
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I am pretty sure he would, since he will go in and do the band on people that have had by-pass. He is very knowledgeable about the band, so I think it would be easy for him.
Great, thanks. I emailed them but haven't heard back yet. However, I just emailed them last night (Friday night). I don't really expect to hear anything before Monday.
Thx.
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Hi everyone! I just got banded on the 7th and I had a good experience. I am doing well, with little to no pain and the liquids seem to keep me happy for now. When does the pain of the air go away? That is my only struggle right now.
GaxX... great stuff. Comes in strips or chewable tablets. Amazing product, helps a great deal. With GasX give it a couple more days. Without it, give it a few more days. ;o)
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Okay, I still have one problem. I'd have to go back to the first post and see if I explained this because I don't recall.
I barf daily. I have barfed daily since day #4 after surgery. Liquids are fine, solids are not. Please please please don't tell me to follow the rules. I DO follow the rules and I barf. I have actually slimed on water in the past few weeks. But usually it is solids.
I do follow the rules, I know how to chew, I know how long to chew, I know how slow to eat, I know all that. I still barf.
My labs show problems because of barfing. My sodium is down, my potassium is down, my protein is down, my uric acid is up, my white count is even up. It's from constant puking.
My GP says it is gallbladder. It isn't. A GI surgeon said it is inflammation. Could be. My surgeon said it is all in my head. Could be. Doesn't change the fact that I barf non stop. I have a journal of every calorie consumed since the day I was banded. I consume 300-500 calories daily. I have had 6 barf free days in 8 weeks. Weight loss is great, I went from a BMI of 42 to 35 (actually, 34) in 8 weeks. I'm thrilled with that. But I'm tired, I am really really tired. I was supposed to go out of the country with my husband. *I* put the trip together, 20 of us were going to go to Africa and provide medical care to tiny villages throughout the African desert to people who have never had medical care. *I* put the damn trip together. I got the volunteers, I got the medical supplies, I raised the money. I've worked on this for two years and now I flunked the insurance physical and I am the only one that can't go on the trip.
I'm over it, I hate my band. I hate few things in life but I hate this band. I thought people that named their band were bizarre. Yeah, I named my band... it's the spawn of Satan. I don't want to vomit anymore, I want a normal life again. I was in Nogales, Mexico on business recently. I was at a restaurant with two docs and their wives. Knowing I barf I ordered BROTH and had to excuse myself to go puke several times. This is insanity, it's also embarrassing.
I no longer care if this is due to gallbladder, inflammation or if it is all in my head. Makes no difference. It can't be fixed so that means removing my band.
Does anyone know if Dr. Ortiz will remove a band placed by a different Mexican surgeon?
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BSN,
I can certainly understand not telling your husband when he is not supportive. I have to admit that once I made up my mind I wanted to have the procedure no matter what. My husband had a great many concerns, but I flat out said to him he had no idea what it was like to live in my body, being overweight. He had no idea the feeling of failure that comes when you diet, fall off the wagon, gain it all back - What it feels like to go to an amusement park with the kids and not fit on the rides they want to go on with you - What it feels like to not be able to fit into regular size public washrooms. He does not know what it feels like to always be hungry and never feel full and to need to satisfy the hunger with food constantly.
All I can say is you will need to tell him at some point. This is a pretty big lie and I think the deeper you go and the more lies that are told the bigger the whole will get to try to get out of. Saying that he hasn't noticed the weight loss and you are now even is just making it worse as it is feeding your feelings of resentment that he did not support you in having the procedure and that he hasn't noticed the change in you either.
I certainly would not just blurt it out now as I think you need to at least try to get him on side and understand some of the issues that you face. Although when I read that you had a low BMI, maybe you didn't have some of the issues I had above, but talk with him honestly about feelings and I am sure you will get a good response. Heck, you have been together for 19 years, so you must have weathered other storms in your life.
Julie C
Nov 6/06
Dr. Ortiz
LOL!! A low BMI! Thank you for that.
I realize that in comparison to some my BMI is low. Right now it is 35. I just haven't heard that before and it's nice to read it.
I think that all fat people have embarrassing stories to tell. Some have more than others but we all face the same challenges. It is not socially acceptable to be a fattie. It just isn't. People look at us all the same, fat, lazy, unable to control ourselves. There comes a point (speaking socially here) where it doesn't matter if one is 200 pounds or 800 pounds. It's just as socially unaccepable. That doesn't mean it isn't harder to lose 600 lbs vs. 100 lbs. But speaking on a social level only, it's all really the same. Maybe it doesn't seem like it but a 250 lb person doesn't fit in seats anymore than an 800lb person. We are all looked at the same.
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I lied to my ex and he thought that I went on a nursing conference when I was actually in Mexico getting banded! He had our children for a week while I was away. Which means that I haven't been able to tell our children for fear he will find out. He and I are divorced but we continue to be close friends...I chose not to tell him because he is absolutely opposed to any bariatric surgery. He said that he thinks anyone that does it is lazy and that they should use the money for their kids' education. He said that he feels grateful that I am not selfish enough to want to do something like that. He has mentioned that he could never be proud of a loved one that had weight loss that came after a bariatric procedure because it is taking the "easy way out". So, yes, I too have a "weird" story/situation. He and my children are a huge part of my life and have no idea I was banded last November! We take the kids to eat and I eat like a bird. I have lost very slowly so he has had no reason to suspect at this point. I have a good support system, a few friends and some family know, so I'm not alone in this...and I'll tell him in due time...and if he happens to call me lazy-- I'll just tell him to kiss my lazy, hot, SKINNY butt! haha
OMG! Thank you! Seriously, thank you SOOO much for posting this. If you were here in real time I'd give you a big hug!
Thank you.
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I've been following this thread since it started and I've GOT to say... you need to tell him.
I'm a strong believer in doing what you think you need to do, and for your own reasons. Nobody can make YOUR decisions for you... HOWEVER, you have said it yourself, a little lie, and now more and more lies to cover it up. Its a house of cards now and it WILL FALL. The deceit (lap band, spa treatments, shopping) will undermine the other good truthfull, trusting 19 years. Trust is paramount in a relationship and if you don't have trust, you don't have anything. He will find out one way or another. You guys need to give us a little more credit. We are NOT oblivious to changes like this. Some things we just avoid because we know it will spin into a fight. If you guys have any type of physical relationship I promise you he knows something and has seen the scars.
Yes he might be mad, yes I know I would be if I found out my wife did something worth $9000 behind my back too. I don't doubt your decision to get it done. I am getting mine the 31st. I DO feel its wrong to keep secrets like that from the one you call your husband. Nobody is saying you have to announce it to the whole world or stand up at church on Sunday and tell everyone there... but your HUSBAND? keeping the secret about paying $100 for a peticure is one thing. We UNDERSTAND that. A lap band that you fight about, and get it done anyway behind his back is wrong. Your body is telling you its wrong. Make it right by telling him and I'm gonna bet a zillion dollars you will feel better.
at the end of the day, look in the mirror and ask youself if your doing the right thing.
For the sake of the previous 19 years... tell him
Don't need to. He figured it out. He was getting ready to leave for a trip out of the country and finally commented on the weight I have lost. He asked how I did it. I happened to be holding a can of Atkin's protein shake and I held it up and just said, "Atkins."
He looked at me for a long time and said, "Okay, you aren't ready to tell me yet." Gave me a kiss and left. So, he's figured it out.
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As for vitamins.. I take liquid Centrum, the taste is not too bad.... Calcium, you could either cut the pills smaller or take the chewable kind.
Did you know that Centrum comes in orange flavored adult chewables? They are pretty good. I couldn't get liquid vitamins down if I tried... they taste just like they smell. Gahhh
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Thanks, I just thought it was funny when I read avoid vomithing at all costs. Like you can. It is something I am going to ask my doctor at my 1st appt.
Susan
I have an unusual inflammatory thing going on and the end result is that I was barfing a LOT right after surgery. Not as much now, but then I was. That was four days after being banded. My band didn't budge.
A band slipping is possible but not likely. If it does slip there is disagreement about how to fix it. My doc (Alberto Aceves) puts his patients on clear liquids for two weeks (if possible) and sometimes it will go back into place that way. Next step is endoscopy. Final option is surgical repair to replace the slipped band.
In the case of food poisoning a doc won't give you something to stop vomiting altogether unless it has gotten out of hand. The body is doing a job by getting the toxins and poisons out in the case of food poisoning. If the band is placed appropriately it isn't typically a problem unless things get really out of hand.
Also, keep in mind that right after surgery is when you are the most likely to have your band slip. There are very few sutures holding the band in place. It isn't the sutures that hold the band long term, it is the adhesions (scarring) that holds it firmly in place. That is why it is more critical to not barf immediately after surgery.
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HELLO EVERYONE.. I AM NEW TO THIS GROUP. I JUST FOUND VIA THE INTERNET. I HAVE BEEN IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING MY LAP BAND.. JUST RETURNED HOME FROM OUR MONTHLY SUPPORT GROUP MEETING. APPOINTMENT WITH SURGEON IS NEXT WEEK. ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD ADVICE ON PROTEIN DRINKS? I DO NOT LIKE REALLY SWEET STUFF AND ALL THE "SHAKES" ARE TOO SWEET. AND IF I CAN SMELL IRON OR VITAMINS... IT WON'T WON'T MAKE IT DOWN WITHOUT GAGGING RELEX.... "UNJURY" I UNDERSTAND HAS A NONFLAVORED POWDER THAT CAN ME MIXED IN WITH BASICALLY ANYTHING. ANY ADVICE?? OR STORIES TO PASS ALONG TO A NEWBIE??
To be honest I couldn't find anything that I could handle for the first two weeks. I thought it was all gross. However, what I don't like others do. You'll just have to try a few and see what you like.
I didn't do it right, I finally waited out the two weeks and then went on to Atkins Shakes after week #3. I'm not suggesting that, I'm just saying that is what I finally did. I still struggle to get in all the protein requirements.
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Hi,
I get pretty frequent heartburn currently (I'm unbanded). I'm not on anything like Prilosec but I do eat about 3 or 4 Rolaids a day. Is it common to get heartburn with the band? I'm wondering if it will get worse if I get banded.
Thanks
Robin
Robin...
Stop the Rolaids. Don't take anymore. Rolaids contain calcium carbonate and that causes a rebound effect. In other words, when you take Rolaids it gets better but then comes back worse than it started out to be. Rolaids are BAD as are TUMS. Talk to your doc about Prilosec, Nexium, or some other proton pump inhibitor.
Secret Lap Bander
in Weight Loss Surgery Testimonials
Posted
HA! Yep....
http://www.lapbandforum.com/index.php?showtopic=1489