BSN

I don't know, I think it is usually a better idea to ask for details before assuming disfunctional relationships and how my relationship needs to be examined. There are other issues at play here, issues I have not written about. We've been together for over 19 years and this is the first time I have ever been dishonest with him. I did find out what the medical problem is... well, part of it anyway. I had a small fill and after three days my band closed completely. I couldn't drink water, I couldn't get comfortable... it was one of the most miserable few days I have ever experienced. After a great many labs we have discovered that I have an over active immune system. IOW, what would cause minor inflammation with your typical person causes severe inflammation for me. The reason for that is yet unknown, but that is the reason for the problems and such. It just means that I need to take meds to prevent inflammation before fills and I can only have small fills at a time. It was something that there was no way to determine before surgery. It kind of explains some medical issues from my past, but bottom line is that nobody knew about it before surgery. However, now I know so now I know how to deal with the problems.

It's normal. Unless there is redness it's just part of the healing process. I was banded a month prior to you and mine still hurts just a little every now and again. "Hurt" isn't even the right word, I'm just aware of it. It is the one part of surgery that probably takes the longest to heal.

My doc doesn't even give narcotics because you don't need them. The first day I was given non-narcotic IV meds in the hospital. The 2nd day of hospitalization I could request Tylenol. I did ask for it twice. When I got home I think I took Tylenol x1. It's not what you might think, it's actually pretty easy and I had a hiatal hernia repair as well. A good surgeon will typically do the procedure (not including things like hernia repairs) in about 30 minutes.

Nita, I actually read this last night and all kinds of thoughts flooding my wee brain. Part of me wanted to ignore you and the other part of me wants to confront you. Hopefully I can find a middle ground here. While you are certainly free to speak your mind and I would never dream of stopping you even if I could, isn't this supposed to be a place of support? I had to come here, use a different name, a short version of registration info and I did this because I wanted to tell SOMEONE what I have done. And what do I get from you? Telling me about disfunctional relationships and how wonderful yours is because you don't need to do what I did. Considering you don't know me, my husband, our situation, what is going on right now... that's a bit of a leap for you to make such comments on a SUPPORT board. Do I expect you to agree with me? Of course not. But to write such a post is something I would never do. I hope nobody ever does it to you. Perhaps you need to look at this from a different POV. Some people are simply desperate enough to do what needs to be done and let the chips fall where they will. Until you have SOME clue as to why he didn't want me to have the surgery perhaps you might consider how you word your opinions. For goodness sakes, at least get the details before jumping to hasty judgements. Okay, you wanted to say it and now you did. Feel better? Cheers.

I don't think deciding not to share every bloody thing with people is the same as dishonest. While I *did* lie to my husband there is a difference between that and not telling the rest of the family. I mean, think about it. If you don't share details of issues between you and your boyfriend to your mother, does that mean you were dishonest or you merely kept it to yourself? With my husband I did lie, time and time again. First time in 19 years I have been dishonest with him. But, that's my choice. He'll deal with it or he won't when he finds out. That is his problem. As for your b/f thinking you are taking the easy way out I have to disagree. Quite frankly, he's an idiot if he thinks that. It's like taking a Tylenol for a toothache. Is that taking the easy way out? Has he ever taken Tylenol? Why? Shouldn't he just suck it up and deal with the toothache? As I wrote above, the band is NOT the easy way out. It isn't a miracle cure. You still have your part to do. I know quite a few thin people that could never survive the band. The band is hard but it is a kind of hard you can do vs. a kind of hard you cannot do. You are forced to change your eating habits. The first month you go from day to day, moment to moment - wondering if you just made a huge mistake. One day you are thrilled, the next day you might wonder what the heck you just did. But suddenly you feel like your body is a huge Chocolate bar outside melting in the sun and suddenly you find yourself becoming stronger. Easy way out? Hardly. Appropriate for folks like you and I? Absolutely.

Congrats on being banded! It's not a mistake, you are doing the right thing. Keep in mind, getting banded is NOT the easy way out. Being banded is hard, very hard. But it is the "kind" of hard I can do. I can't pass up a bacon cheeseburger or basically, stick to any diet for a long time but I can do the band. When I want to cheat with something band unfriendly, the band isn't going to cave and let me sneak a burger. It stays quite strong even when I'm not. It takes away many of your choices. That is what we need.

You are correct, men do tend to be oblivious to things. I have already lost a full clothing size, my eating has changed, my clothes don't fit, I have Atkins stuff laying all over the house and he hasn't noticed anything. If I can stretch that out another clothing size and month, I'll have it made. Then I can say that I had surgery TWO months ago and he didn't notice?? We'll kinda be even by that point. Oh geez, that's so horrible. It's not a matter of his making all the decisions, it is a matter that I have never lied to him before and now it is one lie after another to keep up with the previous lies. I just don't do that, never have. The original conversation went something like this.... Me: I want a band, I did my research. I want your objective opinion. (More detailed, of course) Him: NO! There, there is your objective opinion. Me: I also want to do it in Mexico. You can guess the rest. I just decided I wasn't going to fight and bicker about it. It was probably the biggest fight we have ever had. I wanted to end the battle so I did. Then when he went out of town again I went to Mexico and had the surgery. Oh, I didn't do the liquid pre-op diet. I made the decision and six days later had it done. My BMI didn't require the diet. It was preferred I do it but not required.

He's only home every other weekend. First weekend I told him I had food poisoning, 2nd weekend I told him I had a stomach virus. This weekend I have a project I am working on in Nogales, Mexico. Actually, that one is true! However I won't be in Nogales, I'll be in Mexicali taking a friend there so she can check out everything and I'll get my band checked. I'm telling you, I just keep getting in deeper and deeper. That window of opportunity to tell him... it's looooong gone.

Jelly... We were banded the same day! Congrats on the weight loss. Yes, it does get better when you get your first fill. I haven't had one yet but I have issues causing inflammation and restriction and so even though I have restriction it isn't due to a fill. So I can tell you... restriction makes all the difference in the world! Just keep posting on message boards. It's nice to have a real time friend to discuss this with (someone who really can relate) but on line is the next best thing!

Congrats to you!!!! I'm thrilled you are doing so well. It is such a positive experience, even with the rough spots. I went to lunch with a friend of mine today. It's the first time I have gone to lunch with anyone. I ordered soup and she ordered real food and you know what? It didn't even bother me. She was going to order soup so I didn't feel weird but I told her the truth, I'd feel weird if she did that. She ordered what she wanted and I was totally fine with it. It didn't bother me in the least. Even though it has nothing to do with weight, I still consider that a NSV!

That isn't the first time someone has referred to my personality type as a rebel. ;o) My doc said it is due to stress. He said that stress can cause inflammation and inflammation can cause the band to close. The up side to this <grin> is that I have lost 30 pounds in 24 days. The down side... he hasn't even noticed! Grrrrrrr I don't want him to notice but by goodness he BETTER notice. How's that for logic? BTW, I still haven't told him. However, my self therapy is that I told a gal I used to work for. She's a doll, I absolutely adore her and always have. I just have all the respect in the world for this woman. We went to lunch today and I told her absolutely everything so having a person in real time to tell what I did and discuss it has actually made a huge difference even though it was just today. We discussed my not telling him what I did and she totally gets it. Her husband is quite similar to mine in attitude about bariatric surgery. You know, that attitude of "Just DIET!" If I COULD just DIET I *would*!! She totally understands my position. She hasn't figured out how to approach her hubby about this either. I am sooooo sold on this even with my "issues," I still love it. When I'm barfing I refer to my band as "The Evil One" but when I weigh myself I thank my lucky stars I did what I did. As I wrote before, I make no apologies for having it done but I do wish I would have handled it just a bit differently.

I just got back from my GP (vs. the surgeon) and he gave me Phenergan for nausea. I really don't want to take drugs for anxiety. I want to try and treat nausea first and if that doesn't work then maybe the next step... heh... whatever that step may be. I've even considered having the band removed but then I look at the scale and regardless of why there is weight loss, I'm down 30 lbs in 22 days. I don't want to stop.

Here you go, darl'en! http://www.tracyslapband.com/pouch.htm

Maybe I'll try that. Today has been a really bad day, not sure I could keep wine down but ... tomorrow is a new day. I'll try it. Thanks

I asked about the size of the band. I agree with my doc that it is the correct size. A day after the procedure he did a barium swallow to ensure band placement and I saw it myself, it was wide open. No restriction. He said that if he put in a bigger band then I would never get the restriction I need at a later time. I'm fine as long as I'm not at home. When I come home I can't keep anything down. I believe my doc, everything he said makes sense and my stomach proves it. I just don't know how to fix this. One thing your friend and I share is being overly sensitive to the band. My doc explained that we all feel new things when the band is placed but some feel more than others. That may be another of my problems. I am acutely aware of what is going on with it all the time. I can tell you if it is open or not without food. I try water and I'm right 100% of the time. This is not a good thing, if I was oblivious to what it was doing it would be a lot easier. I know what it is doing, I stress over it, and that causes more inflammation and then it closes. Some people just don't do well with such an item in their body. I'm hoping I am not one of them. BTW, my band has zero cc's in it. Another possibility is that it is gallbladder. I did have gallbladder symptoms before the surgery but I never realized it could be that issue, I just never put the symptoms together because they were not severe, just mild. The surgery could have aggrivated an existing problem and that might be the issue. I've gotten IV fluids x2 now and I'm approaching a 3rd. I have to figure out how to work with the band or I might just opt for gastric bypass however I do NOT want that. I just don't know what to do at this point.

I did go to my doc and he can't find anything wrong. He thinks I am so stressed over how I did this that the stress is closing my band. As for money, I handle the money in the house. He won't even miss it.

LONG story short... I wanted a band, talked to my husband, he said no. I waited for him to go out of town and ran off to get it anyway. That was two weeks ago. I haven't quit vomiting since. He's going to figure out something is wrong. I make no apologies for getting it done, I do feel horrible for the way I did it. Does anyone else have a bizarre story?? Or, am I the only one?