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I will be going into my 6th year of my lapband in March, and thought I'd post an update.

I can't believe it's been 5 years, and I've been maintaining my weight (with little ups, mostly downs) over the past few years!

I'm currently at my all time low, 128lbs, that I've been easily and happily maintaining for about a year now. I most recently purchased a pair of 26" jeans. Never ever did I think I was that small. (reality is difficult)

I definitely struggle daily with body dysmorphia.

My mind & body most content at this weight, so I'm extremely pleased.

Most recently had an ultrasound that was able to confirm my band and port are in perfect place. Thank god. There is always a LOT of talk of the band slipping, rotting, ect ... I've had absolutely no issues with that.

I mentally struggle every single day, but my anxiety attacks are minimal (which were normally brought on my body imagine issues) and being in social situations.

The only real disadvantage to having this lapband, is that the ONLY private clinic in my city (Toronto) went bankrupt over 2 years.

So I'm unable to get unfills done locally. The hospital gastric dept is VERY VERY hesitant to touch me or my band because they weren't the ones who inserted it. Fair enough. I completely understand.

I haven't had it adjusted in 4 years.

I wish I had easily access to adjustments as there are times were I know I should be taking in a lot more calories. ... In the summer, when I'm extremely active, or on vacation (and I eat a LOT less and don't have easy access to my usual safe foods) my weight can easily drop down to 122-125lbs which is too low for my height (i'm 5'9").

I have no plans on having children, so the lack of access to getting adjustments isn't an issue on that front.

At times I'm tired of not eating. I wish I could eat a BURGER. Or finish a milk shake. That can get really exhausting, especially when socially, everything seems to be based on drinking and eating. That's the most difficult part ... just sitting and watching and redirecting any obvious attention that I don't eat a lot.

This post is a bit all over the place, but this is the truth of my experience.

Being on the lapband 'bandwagon' 5 years ago when it was the newest and best thing was amazing, and I feel incredibly blessed that I worked so well for me. But my body imagine issues will always be there and shadowing everything else. That's the one major part that getting the surgery done at this clinic (vs others, that provide A LOT of talk-therapy support). It's safe to say that the majority of us DO have a lot of underlying issues, which need to be dealt for long term success. There is a lot more to it than just reaching your goal weight.

I've spent a fortune on therapy. While other clinics include it in the surgery treatment. I never accounted or thought of that additional cost when going to the OCC.

This is something that's completely changed my life, and given me a real opportunity to become the person I want to be.

Inside and out.

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