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September 2021 Surgery Date Set

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For over seven years, I have been over 250lbs. Going up stairs makes my knees click with each step and the sheer weight has hampered me from enjoying life. In fact last year, I was invited to Universal Studios with friends and had a terrible experience. I went to sit in a roller coaster there and my hips couldn't fit in the normal seat. The employee was nice about it and told me they had 'extended size' seats available. I couldn't fit there either and I just wanted to hide away to pretend my heart wasn't broken; I laughed it off to hide my shame and embarrassment. I often use humor to hide just how embarrassed I would be in situations like that. When I would go shopping, I would always have this voice in the back of my head that would say, "I hope I fit into something here" and oftentimes I would buy an item that I kind of liked because it was the only thing I could fit in. All the while, my friend trying on all sorts of fun outfits and choosing what they really loved because of course, they looked wonderful in it. Healthy people look good in everything they try on. 

I feel throughout the West, we are glorifying obesity and in a sad attempt to normalize always being in pain, always needing more space in an aircraft seat or some modification so we could squeeze uncomfortably into it. Always trying to normalize what hasn't been normal throughout all of human history. My stomach would churn when I would see an 'influencer' talk about how much they love being obese. Because I don't love it. In fact, I am over it. Over always looking for the largest size of everything and hoping it would fit. I reached a point where I was using a spoon to dig myself into a grave. Bite by bite, I was adding inches around my waist. Nobody ever said anything mean to me about it and I walked blindly into reaching size 20 and everything looking terrible on my body. I reached a point where I no longer wore jeans, I wore leggings and sweatpants and shirts were no longer fitted, they were flowy and had big flowers on it... And never any horizontal stripes. :(

Growing up, I was praised for being in the 'clean plate club' and was rewarded with lollipops for clearing everything on my plate. I was reminded over and over that there are starving kids in Africa. That somehow if I finished everything and we wasted no food that I would make a difference in that starving African kid's life. I was bombarded by environmentalist that would preach about not throwing food away because it is wasteful, I so I tried to save the earth by eating everything I had. At restaurants, I would feel bad for not finished my plate and felt shameful asking for a box lest I waste the other pound of pasta on my plate. I would tell myself, I will eat this tonight when I started to digest the food I had earlier. Then 1am would roll around and I was eating a pound of cold pasta drenched in Alfredo sauce out of styrofoam box in a dim refrigerator light. Was this what life was all about? constantly feeling guilty? Constantly overeating so I didn't waste anything? Absolutely not. I wanted more out of life that wasn't food.

Back in March 2021, I began researching weight loss surgeries, the cost, and making a real plan to change my life for the last time. This time, I didn't just make a decision after an awful binge, I make it over the course of three months. I started tracking how much I was actually eating in a day and what a portion size really is. I am currently following the Extended Pre-Op diet which includes lean proteins, veggies and healthy fats. I still want to have sugar and carbs, but I am making a conscious decision to say, "My goals are bigger than this current feeling or craving"

In September, I am scheduled to have the gastric sleeve surgery. I plan to update this forum post with my journey planned in September of 2021. I hadn't seen much updated and wanted to keep the page alive. I can't wait to see what is yet to come with this surgery. I trust I will have a successful surgery and recovery will be quick. Is there anyone else also scheduled in September? I'd love to hear your feedback and experiences. I hope each one of you has a wonderful week! Take Care! :wub:

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  • 1 month later...

Hello Everyone! 
I just wanted to do a quick update. It has been a little over a month since my post and I am down 35.6lbs! I cannot believe how much my life has changed. I am currently 26 days away from my surgery date of September 16th.  I have begun wearing my older pants from 2019. They are beginning to fit better and it brings a huge smile to my face. :)  Never did I imagine how quickly the fat would burn off my body. My portion sizes are normalizing as I am preparing my body for the surgery. Two weeks ago, I joined Esporta fitness and have been going 4-5 times a week. I took my first yoga class as well as cycling class this past week and the energy I feel now is life changing. Things are looking up! Next week I am going to the Kennedy Space Center in Port Canaveral and I am hoping I will fit in the rocket simulation ride there. 
Good things are rolling and I am ready to experience all life has to offer!!
Take care and God bless y'all!:wub:

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