Emotions

[Apple Blossom]

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling isolated right now. I read about so much excitement over the surgery and I understand it. Success will be a dream come true. Sometimes for a brief moment I feel it too, but I know the feeling is the feeling of hope. I am expecting a long adjustment period and I am scared of it. I don't want to PB, vomit or get something stuck. I'm afraid of slippage or erosion, yet I want to go through with it because I have yo-yo'd massivly for 20+ years now. I am sick and tired of the cycle.

I cannot tell my family outside of my husband. It would be far worse to tell than not tell. I wish I could. My children are young. I want them to know how to be healthy because of my example. I have shown them yo-yo'ing instead. (

I am just so darn sad. My husband is staying behind to work and I got my babysitter for the kids while he is at work since this has to be confidential. I have a very dear friend who had gastric by-pass surgery and she is unable to go with me. She is the only single person outside of my husband who will ever know of this surgery....if I can pull it off. I feel so disappointed in myself that I have been unable to conquer my weight battles. I have tried many times to accept myself the way I am and I cannot. I MUST be thin. I hope and pray that this will be the tool to control my hunger and master healthful eating without taking all enjoyment of food away. My determination is strong. My emotions are weak.

Anybody else feeling this way?

Judy

To be Banded June 6

[Clynn]

You're not alone hon, we're all right there with you. You'll meet the other people getting banded the same day as you and get plenty of time to talk while you're staying in the clinic and the hotel afterwards. They'll understand what you're going through better than anybody.

The best thing you can do right now is not look at this as a symbol of your failures, but as you taking control of your life and your body. You are not here because you are weak, you are here because you are strong. Weakness is continuing to go through life doing nothing to make it better because it is too hard/painful/frightening/ etc.

Good luck to you, and you can always come onto the forum to talk to those of us who have been there.

[Apple Blossom]

Bless you for your kind words! Perspective is so versatile. I need to remember that. Thanks.

Judy

To be Banded June 6

You're not alone hon, we're all right there with you. You'll meet the other people getting banded the same day as you and get plenty of time to talk while you're staying in the clinic and the hotel afterwards. They'll understand what you're going through better than anybody.

The best thing you can do right now is not look at this as a symbol of your failures, but as you taking control of your life and your body. You are not here because you are weak, you are here because you are strong. Weakness is continuing to go through life doing nothing to make it better because it is too hard/painful/frightening/ etc.

Good luck to you, and you can always come onto the forum to talk to those of us who have been there.

[kimber]

I am pretty much going through the same thing you are with my extended family! My girlfriend and I will be there on the 7th for pre-ops, so we hope to meet you! Only my hubby and few close friends know about this. To top it off, my sister who is a surgeon was nosing around through my stuff and found my paperwork on this! She totally flipped out and has me pretty nervous about this! I had to lie to her and tell her I wasn't getting it done, because I am stressed out enough about this, I don't need her causing me more stress, ya know? I feel your pain, but I am right there with you!!!!!!!

[Rachelle]

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling isolated right now. I read about so much excitement over the surgery and I understand it. Success will be a dream come true. Sometimes for a brief moment I feel it too, but I know the feeling is the feeling of hope. I am expecting a long adjustment period and I am scared of it. I don't want to PB, vomit or get something stuck. I'm afraid of slippage or erosion, yet I want to go through with it because I have yo-yo'd massivly for 20+ years now. I am sick and tired of the cycle.

I cannot tell my family outside of my husband. It would be far worse to tell than not tell. I wish I could. My children are young. I want them to know how to be healthy because of my example. I have shown them yo-yo'ing instead. (

I am just so darn sad. My husband is staying behind to work and I got my babysitter for the kids while he is at work since this has to be confidential. I have a very dear friend who had gastric by-pass surgery and she is unable to go with me. She is the only single person outside of my husband who will ever know of this surgery....if I can pull it off. I feel so disappointed in myself that I have been unable to conquer my weight battles. I have tried many times to accept myself the way I am and I cannot. I MUST be thin. I hope and pray that this will be the tool to control my hunger and master healthful eating without taking all enjoyment of food away. My determination is strong. My emotions are weak.

Anybody else feeling this way?

Judy

To be Banded June 6

I relate to going it alone. Only my husband and my pastor know that I had the surgery (I was banded Sep 2006). In the past, my family has mostly been critical of my weight-loss attempts that aren't main-stream (i.e. going to Overeaters Anonymous). I have failed at so many weight-loss programs, and I have wasted so much money, that I want to at least wait to see if the LapBand is a permanent success before I tell my family.

To top it off, my pastor told me NOT to have the LapBand surgery because God could heal my overeating problem! I was devistated!! I have been struggling with my overeateing problem for thirty years, and I have tried everything, including countless attempts at faith healings. I believe in the power of God, and His ability to heal me. I told my pastor that God created the intelligence gene pool, and the intellingence gene pool is where medical miracles come from, and the LapBand is a medical miracle . . . so God is giving me His miracle healing through the LapBand!

My pastor has no experience with overeating problems whatsoever. His entire family is rail thin. He never would budge on his position that I shouldn't have the surgery, so I finally boldly told him that unless he is a medical doctor, it is inappropriate, and dangerous for him to be giving me medical advice. It was hard for me to say this to him because I know he only had my best interest at heart, and that he was sincerely trying to be helpful. After my paster reacted in such a negative way, I have felt extra fearful about telling anyone else. I feel embarrassed enough that I ever got myself to the point of needing weight-loss surgery. I like what Clynn said, though. I do believe that having weight-loss surgery is a sign of strength, not weakness. I am fighting to live a healthy life, rather than throw-in the towel and give up because of all my failed attempts. I am willing to go to any lengths for good health - for myself and for the people who love me. Rachelle

[Clynn]

My pastor has no experience with overeating problems whatsoever. His entire family is rail thin. He never would budge on his position that I shouldn't have the surgery, ...

I can relate to this. I told EVERYONE I was getting the surgery and most everyone was incredibly supportive. I feel quite fortunate to have such people in my life, however, that is another topic. The only two people who were appalled that I would do such a thing to myself were both quite thin and had never had any kind of weight problem. Isn't it funny how our perceptions work? It is like, "I am human, and I am not this way, therefore humans are not this way." They do not even realize they are thinking this way until it is pointed out to them, and even then it can be very difficult to change. But hey, if all fat people have to do is stop eating, then all alcoholics have to do is stop drinking, and all drug addicts have to do is stop using. It's just that simple isn't it?

Isn't it?

[Apple Blossom]

Good for you Rachelle. Keep yourself first and don't let your faith lessen. Turn the other cheek on his inability to understand the grief of weight. Great job on your loss also! =D>

Judy

To be Banded June 6

I relate to going it alone. Only my husband and my pastor know that I had the surgery (I was banded Sep 2006). In the past, my family has mostly been critical of my weight-loss attempts that aren't main-stream (i.e. going to Overeaters Anonymous). I have failed at so many weight-loss programs, and I have wasted so much money, that I want to at least wait to see if the LapBand is a permanent success before I tell my family.

To top it off, my pastor told me NOT to have the LapBand surgery because God could heal my overeating problem! I was devistated!! I have been struggling with my overeateing problem for thirty years, and I have tried everything, including countless attempts at faith healings. I believe in the power of God, and His ability to heal me. I told my pastor that God created the intelligence gene pool, and the intellingence gene pool is where medical miracles come from, and the LapBand is a medical miracle . . . so God is giving me His miracle healing through the LapBand!

My pastor has no experience with overeating problems whatsoever. His entire family is rail thin. He never would budge on his position that I shouldn't have the surgery, so I finally boldly told him that unless he is a medical doctor, it is inappropriate, and dangerous for him to be giving me medical advice. It was hard for me to say this to him because I know he only had my best interest at heart, and that he was sincerely trying to be helpful. After my paster reacted in such a negative way, I have felt extra fearful about telling anyone else. I feel embarrassed enough that I ever got myself to the point of needing weight-loss surgery. I like what Clynn said, though. I do believe that having weight-loss surgery is a sign of strength, not weakness. I am fighting to live a healthy life, rather than throw-in the towel and give up because of all my failed attempts. I am willing to go to any lengths for good health - for myself and for the people who love me. Rachelle

[Apple Blossom]

Aww, Kimber, I'm sorry about your sister. I am so happy for you having having a friend and being banded together. I'd love to meet up. I need to figure out the private message deal. I'll try and figure it out.

Judy

To be Banded June 6

I am pretty much going through the same thing you are with my extended family! My girlfriend and I will be there on the 7th for pre-ops, so we hope to meet you! Only my hubby and few close friends know about this. To top it off, my sister who is a surgeon was nosing around through my stuff and found my paperwork on this! She totally flipped out and has me pretty nervous about this! I had to lie to her and tell her I wasn't getting it done, because I am stressed out enough about this, I don't need her causing me more stress, ya know? I feel your pain, but I am right there with you!!!!!!!

[kimber]

Don't be sorry about my sis!!! ha ha ha I am used to it, just another obstacle to jump over! I made up my mind a few years ago! I am doing this for ME!!!!!! Please try and figure out the private deal.... love to meet up!

Aww, Kimber, I'm sorry about your sister. I am so happy for you having having a friend and being banded together. I'd love to meet up. I need to figure out the private message deal. I'll try and figure it out.

Judy

To be Banded June 6

[CalKev]

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling isolated right now....

Hi Judy,

I'm not a "Lady" but wanted to jump in on the topic. The toughest part is over. Making the decision to be banded is the changing point. Life is only going to get better and you will feel good about yourself. You have plenty of courage to go this far and this choice will amplify your quality of life. You are not alone in how you feel. Most of us feel or have felt as you do. The key is you are resolute to make your food habits manageable. The band will empower you to deconstruct obsessive behavior that has sabotaged you in the past. Your banding experience will also change your heart and view of your life. Be open to the teaching to come and use that strong determination to make "you" a priority. No one can do this for you... its all you and you will succeed!

[Apple Blossom]

Haha Kevin....I should have thought twice about "ladies" when I typed it! Thanks for jumping in and offering support. Feeling empowered will be a very welcome change. I had a good cry this morning and poured my heart all over my husband....he's so great. I am as ready as I wll get. My flight leaves at 7 in the morning....

Judy

Hi Judy,

I'm not a "Lady" but wanted to jump in on the topic. The toughest part is over. Making the decision to be banded is the changing point. Life is only going to get better and you will feel good about yourself. You have plenty of courage to go this far and this choice will amplify your quality of life. You are not alone in how you feel. Most of us feel or have felt as you do. The key is you are resolute to make your food habits manageable. The band will empower you deconstruct obsessive behavior that has sabotaged you in the past. Your banding experience will also change your heart and view of your life. Be open to the teaching to come and use that strong determination to make

[CalKev]

Haha Kevin....I should have thought twice about "ladies" when I typed it! Thanks for jumping in and offering support. Feeling empowered will be a very welcome change. I had a good cry this morning and poured my heart all over my husband....he's so great. I am as ready as I wll get. My flight leaves at 7 in the morning....

Judyin

Judy, Thank you for being open to this "guys" point of view. It's so great when your spouse is supportive. You are very fortunate. Get on that plane and take care of business! Have a very safe flight and keep us updated to how things go in the coming days. I'm excited for you!

You are not alone. We are all a click away at the OCC Inet Access Center. I wish every day of my life could be as productive as that single day is at OCC. You got it made! Kevin

[FurEllie]

Here's what I finally realized:

I am an addict. I'm addicted to food. I love food. I love to watch food shows. I love to eat. I love to read cookbooks. The only thing I DON'T love to do is cook I can't even count the times I've eaten so much that if I ever told anyone who's NOT a fellow addict, they would have me committed. Seriously.

Unfortunately, unlike drug or alcohol addicts, I can't just STOP EATING.

The band is a tool. As much as I WANT to eat all the food I can, I JUST CAN'T. This is good. Do others without WLS think I'm weak? Probably. It's also why I haven't told a lot of people. But you know what? I don't care. I know my limits, or rather, lack of limits w/o the band. I know that if I made a batch of brownies before the band, you can guarantee that I would eat that batch w/in 24 hours (sometimes 12....).

This is the only thing that helps and NONE of us came to this decision lightly.

[Rachelle]

Here's what I finally realized:

I am an addict. I'm addicted to food. I love food. I love to watch food shows. I love to eat. I love to read cookbooks. The only thing I DON'T love to do is cook I can't even count the times I've eaten so much that if I ever told anyone who's NOT a fellow addict, they would have me committed. Seriously.

Unfortunately, unlike drug or alcohol addicts, I can't just STOP EATING.

The band is a tool. As much as I WANT to eat all the food I can, I JUST CAN'T. This is good. Do others without WLS think I'm weak? Probably. It's also why I haven't told a lot of people. But you know what? I don't care. I know my limits, or rather, lack of limits w/o the band. I know that if I made a batch of brownies before the band, you can guarantee that I would eat that batch w/in 24 hours (sometimes 12....).

This is the only thing that helps and NONE of us came to this decision lightly.

Dito!! Nicely put. Thanks for your candidness, FurEllie.

[PAMMIE]

Do others without WLS think I'm weak? Probably.

SEVERAL WEEKS AGO I WAS TALKING WITH A GAL AT WORK ABOUT THE BAND, HER HUSBANDS INSURANCE WILL COVER IT, WHEN ANOTHER EMPLOYEE PIPED UP, YEAH, PAM, YOU CHEATED. THIS COMING FROM SOMEONE THAT'S GAINED AND LOST A MILLION TIMES OVER ON WEIGHT WATCHERS. JUST HAD TO SAY, YEP, AND I GOT THE TOOL TO KEEP MINE OFF, YOU? I KNOW, NOT SO NICE BY THEN AGAIN SHE WAS THE ONE THAT BUTTED IN, IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF SOME AREN

[Rachelle]

ANOTHER EMPLOYEE PIPED UP, YEAH, PAM, YOU CHEATED. JUST HAD TO SAY, YEP, AND I GOT THE TOOL TO KEEP MINE OFF, YOU?

I think that was a perfect response, Pammie. I think you went easy on her! I agree that others, especially other women who have failed at weight loss, are jealous. I admit that, well, I don't know if jealousy is the right word, more like self-loathing I would feel if I saw my girlfriends succeeding at weight loss, and I was gaining, gaining, gaining. The bottom line is, do I stay stuck in self-loathing, jealousy, and criticism, or do I get off my fat ass and go to any lengths to get better instead of bitter? I want to get better, always. And no matter how much better I have become with the help of the LapBand, I ALWAYS have room for improvement! Rachelle

[PAMMIE]

I think that was a perfect response, Pammie. I think you went easy on her! I agree that others, especially other women who have failed at weight loss, are jealous. I admit that, well, I don't know if jealousy is the right word, more like self-loathing I would feel if I saw my girlfriends succeeding at weight loss, and I was gaining, gaining, gaining. The bottom line is, do I stay stuck in self-loathing, jealousy, and criticism, or do I get off my fat ass and go to any lengths to get better instead of bitter? I want to get better, always. And no matter how much better I have become with the help of the LapBand, I ALWAYS have room for improvement! Rachelle

IT WAS TUFF TYPING THAT "J" WORD, IT'S A WORD I JUST NEVER USE AND IT FELT WEIRD. I WORK WITH 120 OTHER WOMAN, I'M SURE THIS WASN'T THE FIRST COMMENT LIKE THAT MADE, JUST THE ONE I HEARD FOR MYSELF

BUT ON A GOOD NOTE, A GAL I WORK WITH IS GOING IN FOR HER PRE OP APPOINTMENT THIS MORNING TO HAVE A TUMMY TUCK WITH MY DR.

AT LEAST I GOT PEOPLE TALKIN HEALTHY AND BETTERING THEMSELVES IF NOTHING ELSE

[barbflorida]

SEVERAL WEEKS AGO I WAS TALKING WITH A GAL AT WORK ABOUT THE BAND, HER HUSBANDS INSURANCE WILL COVER IT, WHEN ANOTHER EMPLOYEE PIPED UP, YEAH, PAM, YOU CHEATED. THIS COMING FROM SOMEONE THAT'S GAINED AND LOST A MILLION TIMES OVER ON WEIGHT WATCHERS. JUST HAD TO SAY, YEP, AND I GOT THE TOOL TO KEEP MINE OFF, YOU? I KNOW, NOT SO NICE BY THEN AGAIN SHE WAS THE ONE THAT BUTTED IN, IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF SOME AREN

[barbflorida]

IT WAS TUFF TYPING THAT "J" WORD, IT'S A WORD I JUST NEVER USE AND IT FELT WEIRD. I WORK WITH 120 OTHER WOMAN, I'M SURE THIS WASN'T THE FIRST COMMENT LIKE THAT MADE, JUST THE ONE I HEARD FOR MYSELF

BUT ON A GOOD NOTE, A GAL I WORK WITH IS GOING IN FOR HER PRE OP APPOINTMENT THIS MORNING TO HAVE A TUMMY TUCK WITH MY DR.

AT LEAST I GOT PEOPLE TALKIN HEALTHY AND BETTERING THEMSELVES IF NOTHING ELSE

Is your doctor for the tummy tuck in Mexico, I'm thinking about that next and would love to have some recommendations.

[kym828]

Wow Barb!! you have done wonderful with the band! what size band do you have? do you exercise like crazy or just dont eat much? i would love to hear what your secret to success has been!

kim