One of the coolest things I learned

[Phoenix]

I travel a lot for work. It's a lot of airplanes, rental cars, hotel rooms and jet lag. Not much glamor. -- Not like people think anyway.

I came home from an international trip on Mother's Day weekend one year. My family, to celebrate, took me to a nice resort in Scottsdale (they're cheap when it's hot!.

Lounging by the pool was this woman who I didn't say hello to, but had the opportunity to observe for a couple of days. She was in an olive green bikini with gold detailing on it. Cool suit. She was also 225 pounds and probably a size 20.

She was perfectly comfortable in her own body. Her vibe didn't give off a single wave of defensiveness, but it sort of said, "Hi. I live in here. This is my body and it's all good. You can have a different opinion if you like. It's your opinion though and mine matters more."

At 170, I was feeling like I should be wearing a burka, not a tankini. And there was this woman far larger than me who was comfortable in her own skin. She owned it.

I thought, "I have to get to where she is mentally." What other people thought mattered too much. I didn't just acknowledge that they had a judgement or an opinion -- I gave those opinions/judgement power. And this woman didn't. She was aware, but didn't give the negative views of others any power. And I was busy feeling inferior, measuring myself against everyone else.

It was one of those breakthrough moments.

It's taken a couple of years and I'm not "there", but in the general time zone of "there". I'm much better at not giving other's negative opinions any power. They own it, cool. I don't. Even more cool.

[Kittycat]

Great observation...my family and I went to Punta Cana, D.R. in January of this year and I brought my sexiest one peice bathing suits...I figured, no one knows me there, I can do this. I did it!! I wore my bathing suit, which showed off my best asset (my newly reduced and lifted boobs) and had a fabulous time.

I got into the pool and out of the pool and there were people wearing less, bigger than me. It was liberating!!

Oh and there were skinny woman who went topless...and my boobs were nicer than theirs!!! LOL!!!

Next time I go there...I will be in a much smaller bathing suit, showing much more, ha ha ha!!!

Great story!!!

[mona-camille]

That is a great story!!!!

[Kim2BSlim]

What a wonderful story! I have a friend like that. She is very overweight, but on the inside she is a rock! She can get any man she wants and she just sends off vibes of confidence! I have always been shy and insecure about my body.

[julieburns]

Yes this is a learning lesson for many of us. I have finally gotten to the point of the woman in the green suit, sort of. The last years being heavy were also very much a journey of growth for me. Now it's time to get the weight off to really show off !!

[Kittycat]

What a wonderful story! I have a friend like that. She is very overweight, but on the inside she is a rock! She can get any man she wants and she just sends off vibes of confidence! I have always been shy and insecure about my body.

I work with a girl like that too...she's only about 30 lbs lighter than me, big boobs and very curvy and she just expells confidence...and when she eyes a man, look out!! She is never lonely! LOL!!!