doinitagann Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I have a dear friend in Canada and email her all the time. I went to visit her a year ago and I can tell she was a bit surprised to see me large.(I met her when i was 140). I told her then that I was thinking of having the band done and she just about flipped. "Just go on a diet". I told her I have been on diets and never kept the weight off. I always gain the weight back. She did not understand why I could gain the weight back after i lost. Once I lose weight shouldn't I be able to maintain. She said. "It's not a diet, it is a life change" -like I haven't heard that before. Well during our chat last night she suggested we go on a diet together. I refuse to tell her about the surgery cuz I know how she feels about that. She has 15 pounds to lose and lets see I have 140. . She gave me a bunch of weight loss tips, like drink water, don't snack, Like DUH. It made me realize that some people do not live the life that is as hard as mine in my obese body. to some food is a fuel or a perk. to me food is my friend, my enjoyment, my crutch but most importantly-my enemy. It is there whenever I need it and there is plenty of it. I plan to succeed on the band, simply because it will put the wall between me and all the negative sides of eating. I know we all have friend out there like this. It is great to be surrounded by people who understand. I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you. You are my inspiration. Your words are ten times meaningful as most of my skinny friends because I know you know what I am going thru. Good luck to all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Absolutely! I too come here for support as there isn't anyone in my daily life that knows the struggle we go thru. I limit my exposure to "friends" like that. I don't need any help feeling bad about myself. Good luck on your upcoming surgery. Be patient with yourself as you learn to turn to other things than food for comfort. It will take time. Somebody remind me of this later when I'm am struggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clynn Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Yup, you should just go on a diet. Alcoholics, you should just stop drinking. Drug addicts, just stop using. Smokers, just stop smoking. Oh, and cancer patients, just stop being sick. Our bodies simply don't work that way or we would have done it YEARS ago or even never gotten fat in the first place. The fact of the matter is that the percentage of people who need to lose the amount of weight you do and actually achieve it and keep it off without surgical intervention is staggeringly low (the most common number I've heard is about 3%). Getting banded isn't about looking good in a bathing suit, it's about getting healthy and adding years to your life and significantly increasing the quality of those years. Do what you need to do to achieve that, not what un-educated people believe you should be doing to fit their world view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ackovach Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Hi, I totally agree with you. I have not told any longtime friends that knew me skinny. I have told 1 close work friend that understands my struggle. She is very fit, but justs wants me to be happy. But during my weight loss struggles I actually had a friend say, "just give that up, aren't you tired of talking about diets". I never talk about this with her since then. And of course the family is another thing. I have plenty of relatives that have had cosmetic surgeries even tummy tucks, breast lifts, face lifts. And 1 of them had all of these. But I know they would talk about it behind my back in a negative way. So mainly, it is between me and this forum!!! By the way, my too tight skirt 16 plus is falling off of me today. I am 20 days post op. I have lost almost 20 pounds. People are already commenting. I am happier than I have been in a long,long time. Funny how being fat changes me. I have so much going for me, great husband, great kid, great job....... But I am unhealthy, unhappy and low self-esteem. I have had so much anxiety about death..... But now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it makes want to cry when I think about the better person and mom I will be. Hugs and kisses, Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julieburns Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Funny how being fat changes me. I have so much going for me, great husband, great kid, great job....... But I am unhealthy, unhappy and low self-esteem. I have had so much anxiety about death..... But now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it makes want to cry when I think about the better person and mom I will be. Ditto. I have told only a handful of people about my band for this very reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittycat Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I get the impression that your friend may not be a good support system for you, if you were to tell her about your surgery. I have kept alot of my friends and family in the dark, just because I don't need the negative vibe. I hand picked who I told and if they had questions, I answered them and now have a wonderful support system in person and here on the forum. My own sister doesn't know, she's dieting and getting in shape now too..and may have 20 lbs to lose tops...me 40 down, 105 to go!! This is your decision, you share it with whom ever you feel comfortable and always know, we are here for you, no matter what!!! P.S. Where in Canada does your friend live...I'm in Kitchener, Ontario. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doinitagann Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I get the impression that your friend may not be a good support system for you, if you were to tell her about your surgery. I have kept alot of my friends and family in the dark, just because I don't need the negative vibe. I hand picked who I told and if they had questions, I answered them and now have a wonderful support system in person and here on the forum.My own sister doesn't know, she's dieting and getting in shape now too..and may have 20 lbs to lose tops...me 40 down, 105 to go!! This is your decision, you share it with whom ever you feel comfortable and always know, we are here for you, no matter what!!! P.S. Where in Canada does your friend live...I'm in Kitchener, Ontario. My friend is in Montreal Quebec area. I loved it up there!!! Can't wait to go back SKINNY~!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cckcsharp Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I agree, that you must decide who you feel will be a good support system after your band, and only tell those people. Don't tell anyone you think will be negative. It's your body and your life and you don't owe it to anyone to tell them a darn thing about your band. Plus, you have all of us here who know exactly what it feels like to be obese and have skinny people in our lives say things like "just go in a diet, or exercise more." I am being banded just a few day before you on Aug. 29th. I have about 140 to 150 to lose as well, so come do your "diet" with me and all the others here. We can track each others progress and challenge each other to the finish line, Without all that negative feedback from those who do not understand. We are here for you and happy to have you. I am totally thrilled to have people here who are banded around the same time as me and have to same weight to lose as me. I feel like I have people here who understand and can share in my journey. I leave in a week and 1 day for my surgery, so I will keep you update on how things go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhawkchick75 Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I have very few people I will be telling. I have two very close friends that I tell everything to so I will be telling them when they are in town next week. I honestly don't know how they will react. One is overweight and one struggled with her weight for a long time but is one of those 5 percent that have been able to take it off. So I really don't know how that will work. I have one other that I told who had a lot of questions, but it was more out of concern and now she's OK but still a bit worried. Once I start losing I won't lie, but that will be after the fact so I really don't care what they think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittycat Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 My friend is in Montreal Quebec area. I loved it up there!!! Can't wait to go back SKINNY~!!!!! Montreal is a great place, I have been there on business a few times, if you go back, let me know when, it would be cool to meet up!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doinitagann Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 Montreal is a great place, I have been there on business a few times, if you go back, let me know when, it would be cool to meet up!!! Oh, that would be so COOL!!!! Of course I could never tell my friend where I met you. . Hopefully I will be able to make it up there next summer. Gives me plenty of time to lose some of this weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doinitagann Posted August 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 I agree, that you must decide who you feel will be a good support system after your band, and only tell those people. Don't tell anyone you think will be negative. It's your body and your life and you don't owe it to anyone to tell them a darn thing about your band. Plus, you have all of us here who know exactly what it feels like to be obese and have skinny people in our lives say things like "just go in a diet, or exercise more." I am being banded just a few day before you on Aug. 29th. I have about 140 to 150 to lose as well, so come do your "diet" with me and all the others here. We can track each others progress and challenge each other to the finish line, Without all that negative feedback from those who do not understand. We are here for you and happy to have you. I am totally thrilled to have people here who are banded around the same time as me and have to same weight to lose as me. I feel like I have people here who understand and can share in my journey. I leave in a week and 1 day for my surgery, so I will keep you update on how things go. Oh jessica, you make me cry. For once, it is because I believe you. I believe that you understand and care. All of this forum is so full of wonderful people who were complete strangers a week ago. Now i consider them to know more about me than a lot of my life-long friends. We are starting our journey together. I will be here for you and hope you can be there for me. THANKS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittycat Posted August 20, 2008 Report Share Posted August 20, 2008 How we met is our little secret and you are so right about this forum...the support is incredible and everyone is so easy to talk to and very supportive good or bad. You guys are the best friends I have never met!!! Yet!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now