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First banded Xmas


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Christmas dinner was a success I supppose. I ate whatever I wanted but not very much (maybe a quarter of what I would normally have) and I haven't had any problems getting anything stuck. Also, yetserday was the first day my port area wasn't sore- the best Christmas gift of all.

On another note, I find now that I can't stuff my anger away with food, I'm feeling highly-sensitive and a little explosive. People are pissing me off very easily. I was swearing at work and one girl said, "Oh my..I've never heard you swear, it's like hearing Santa swear"! I've always been the happy-go-lucky one- or at least pretended to be. I feel like I want to tell everyone where to go! So much for holiday spirit, ha ha.

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I was the same way!!! I felt that if I was mad, pissed off, or sad or just whatever... I could call any one of my friends and we would go "hang out" which usually consisted of going to a restaurant and eating lunch or dinner... Now I'm finding myself feeling voulnerable (SP?) I guess you could say. Easily attacked or takin advantage of. I can't hide behind food anymore, and food can not be a friend. You want a friend to ALWAYS be there for you. You cant talk to food, you cant tell them how you feel. It just makes you fill like you have a companion because its there, and you dont have to face your troubles, you take the easy way out. For heavy people, food is the easy way out, Their bored, they dont go walking, they grab a snack sit their butts on the couch and watch t.v. They got dumped by some loser, Grab Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and watch a romantic movie on the couch... Ben and Jerry will always be there for you. Their sad, Grab food, its always there and never leaving. You got that new job offer or have something to celebrate, what do you usually do, GO OUT to eat... Or thats how it was for me and my family. Yes, we have obsticales to face, but we can do it, We went as far as getting the surgery done, why waste the time and money if your not going to work for it. You cant let little things make you mad. But its also no big deal to let someone know how you feel,.

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

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Christmas dinner was a success I supppose. I ate whatever I wanted but not very much (maybe a quarter of what I would normally have) and I haven't had any problems getting anything stuck. Also, yetserday was the first day my port area wasn't sore- the best Christmas gift of all.

On another note, I find now that I can't stuff my anger away with food, I'm feeling highly-sensitive and a little explosive. People are pissing me off very easily. I was swearing at work and one girl said, "Oh my..I've never heard you swear, it's like hearing Santa swear"! I've always been the happy-go-lucky one- or at least pretended to be. I feel like I want to tell everyone where to go! So much for holiday spirit, ha ha.

I am wondering why are you angry? What is making you so angry that you have the need to bark at others? Are you living from day to day with your new weight loss adventure and are you giving yourself enough time to plan around your band? Are you getting the support you need? I learned when I am angry, mad or upset, I analyze as to why I am and who I am angry at. Then I try to calm myself by getting away from the angry situation and find ways to solve the issue.

Ahh...truly spoken Amy! LOL...when I was banded in Oct, my thoughts were, "what can I eat?; what do I do?"; and the list goes on. For me, keeping busy with arts and crafts, reading, exercises, etc, helps me be positive and stay away from food.

The band is such an amazing adventure in my life and with me, I was being selfish and thinking of me only when I first decided to go forward with the surgery. I was in my own little world and 'organizing' my daily, weekly, monthly, etc...goals, menu plannings, clothes, etc. This band journey is PERFECT FOR SINGLE PEOPLE! So, adjusting this new lifestyle changes with my family and friends' living lifestyle is such a huge challenge for me. It's progressive steps for me and it's easier when people know what you are going through. Now, I am very open with my surgery and the rapport I have with others is a good thing...and the new adjustments I am now making is incorporating with my 'old' ways of things a lot smoothly. It takes time. Like Amy says, once you've made mistakes, learn from it and move on forward. Do not try to analyze it too much, just go with the flow and enjoy the ride!

Best to you...

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I completely understand the coping problem. I'm worried that I will fail in the end because of the relationship I have with food. I've been thinking about going to someone who specializes in eating disorders to deal with that part, but I called my insurance today to get some numbers and, guess what? They only cover anorexics! I don't fully understand this because obese people live longer and have more health problems, where the anorexics have heart attacks and dies sooner (Karen Carpenter for ex.)!! Insurance is useless!

If anyone has ideas on how they handled the loss of their BFFs (BK, KFC, cheesecake, etc.) let me know!

ValleyGirl, you have survived the holidays and now the hard part is over. Now everyone will be joining gyms, dieting, and being crazy for two months, so then they'll all be crabs and you'll blend right in ;)

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