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yessss 2lbs! i'm ECSTATIC! this is super wonderful! so 25 more lbs to lose by birthday/new year's goal! i think i can do this. yes i will do this!

also about gio it's all good. he can do whatever it doesn't bother me or affect my life one bit. i know where i'm going and what i'm doing so yeah. yeah so what he knows about my weight loss goals and how much i weigh..i mean that just makes me a better person for trying to eat right and get in shape instead of being obese and dying of heart attack at the age of 30 or something. and so what if he knows of my weird obsessive crush on him he's gay anyways so he doesn't care really plus its all really stupid. and so what if he knows i spend all my money and never save anything because i'm impulsive and spoiled. OH WELL. but i'm trying to change all of that, that's why i wrote about it in the first place. my diary is more like a to do list. i think everybody writes stuff down as a way to release and figure out how they can fix it if it's not going the way you want it to.

oh yeah i forgot to mention i got into a car accident the other day or so and my car is going into the shop for several weeks totaling 3500 dollars worth of damage...the accident was definitely not my fault, some random blue car tried to get in my lane when obviously i was still in the lane! so i had to brake and swerve so he wouldn't hit me and there goes the side of my car. anyway i'm really happy because i'm getting every little dent and scratch fixed so my car is going to look brand new! its barely 3 years old but other drivers have not been kind to me on the road..ok so maybe i didn't always have the best judgment but whatever.

i need to eat more vegetables.

i was thinking about surgery you know like tummy tucks and such..well i honestly don't think i'm going to need it. i really don't think my skin is going to be so loose and saggy off my frame that i'm going to have to surgically remove it. but maybe i will because i've been big most of my life. but i do exercise so that should help. plus i'm 22 so really now.. but i'm exactly the weight i am now when i was 16. ha weird..i can sorta remember how my body was at this weight and that age and i could have swore some skin was tighter than others hmmm.. nevermind i just looked at some pictures, i look the same except i was tan and i went to the gym everyday. but now i don't work out in the gym everyday and i'm definitely not tan. so i'm just going to start working out again. i kinda stopped working out like in the summer, don't know why really guess i didn't need the extra endorphins because i was already happy. yeah i only work out like serious cardio when i'm severely upset about something. but it shouldn't be that way. i should work out because its the best thing you can do for yourself.


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