Ok i would first like to say that I'm a very independent young lady. I hate to depend on anyone for support. Co-dependency is not my thing. In relationships I like to be free and do as I please. I ask that the other person is the same exact way. I cannot stand someone clinging onto me. I hate the feeling of having to have someone because you depend on that person to make you feel a certain way. May it be happiness, love, security, etc. I can't do it. I don't want to do it. I much rather make myself happy just being me and being alone. That is all I wish to say about that.
I lost 1lb! I know it's just one pound but I was stuck for several days at the same weight so it really makes me happy.
Oh yeah I'm talking to my friend again. She texted me, so i decided I guess I will respond. She's not saying anything too important or life changing just blah blah about some guy she has a crush on but of course she won't tell him. She's trying to get over this one guy who she has liked for over 9 months but it's obvious he does not like her because he has not tried to talk to her outside of work. She annoyed me with an email she wrote me about going out to the clubs to find men and she hoped that the girls she was going with would not attract too much attention because they are "hot" meaning pretty and skinny. Here's a snippet from the email:
i hope i'm not left out because the other 2 girls are really hot(pretty and skinny).
So to be "hot" according to my friend, you have to be skinny I really, really am starting to dislike her very very much. I don't think I'm being overly sensitive either. I think she has just pushed my buttons one too many times. I want to scream at her and tell her to just shut her mouth. It's ok, because I will be getting the last word when I reach my goal weight. I'll just keep quiet for now and let her talk her mess blah blah feeling sorry for herself. I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I'm putting me first.
Also it's really pathetic to go out to clubs looking for men. How lame can you get??? Really now.. I think she needs to love herself first because I don't think she does anymore. I'm thinking maybe she needs me more than ever now, but I cannot bring myself to offer her my hand. I know I'm coming off so bitter and spiteful but I can't forgive so easily. She really did hurt me. I want to be a good friend, a good person, but how can you be good to someone who has been so bad to you?