Yes indeed, disbelief is a funny thing. It's hard to believe that I let myself grow to the size I did. Disbelief....
I think after a while, I looked in the mirror and ceased to really "see" myself. Don't get me wrong, there have been days where I caught an awakening glimps of me. Like the day I was setting on my bed and looked up. In the hall way we have a large mirror. I caught a good long look of a side view of me. The "thickness" was shocking. It startled me and caught me off guard.
Really, I am not sure where I lost myself. When I stopped seeing myself and got the glazed over look. I have to believe I did it out of self preservation. To make my size and eating okay, I blocked the very sight of me out.
Denial is not bliss. It is painful, unhealthy, and deadly.
I am now seeing, looking and aware.
The scale reads 250 once more. Oh glorious 250! I am happy to see you. I'll be even happier to move past you in my quest to be healthy again.
Honestly....being honest with myself feels good.
I love me and thank heavens for the OCC, Dr.'s and this forum.
I am thankful to have the ability to have this surgery.
Here is to our health! Cheers! (with H2O)