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oh darling..



i'm so happy i don't know why. i became a vegan just for the next two months or so. so far i lost 6lb so its working. did i mention mario is now living in macon georgia and he's a newscaster! amazing! so proud of him! me and giovanni are not on speaking terms. i forgive him all the time. every crappy thing he does i turn the other cheek and just forgive him. i tried to ignore it, forget it, move on, blah blah but he kept on doing the same crap over and over again! i just had it! so i gave him a box of all his stuff and threw the necklace he gave me in his face and that was that. he didn't say anything to me for a week and i was like yessss finally! but now he's been calling and texting me. ugh. my life has been so good without him. all he ever did was make me cry and feel like i wasn't good enough. his mom and sister talk to me all the time and tell me they love me and miss me and i love them but i can't take gio anymore. he needs to grow up. he's 21 and he acts like a baby. he doesn't take responsibilities for his actions and never apologizes. i can't deal with it anymore. i put my life on hold for him. i was always there for him, always willing to do anything to prove to him that i truly loved him. but it wasn't enough never enough..i used to beat myself up for failing. i felt like he deserved to treat me bad because i wasn't good enough. i wasn't nice or polite enough. i wasn't wearing the right clothes or didn't do my hair the right style. i know i know so stupid so pathetic...ugh i know this..but its like i had something to prove and he would manipulate me into thinking i was not good enough when i knew i was better than good i was the best, i am the best. if i wasn't he would never even bother with me. he knew i was the best. he still knows im the best, hence the reason why he still keeps calling/texting. but now i just don't care anymore. i let the phone go to voicemail and simply ignore all the texts. i have nothing, absolutely nothing to prove to him anymore. he needs to prove to me! but i could care less if he tries or not. i've never felt so completely indifferent towards somebody. i probably care more about whether or not there is milk in those crackers..hahahaahaha sorry it may seem i'm so insensitive or ruthless but trust me i've cried him rivers and oceans just so numb about him now. anyway mom and fred are not getting married in hawaii, his parents can't get the time off ah boo! i'm transferring schools to continue my education, can't wait to start a new life!


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