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Food isn't everything...but it's more than I thought it was!


storm

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As I am struggling 12 days post surgery- (I'm a little dense I guess, I finally went and bought some protein shakes today because I am tired of feeling weak and defeated...so we'll see how things look in a couple of days) ...I have to reflect...I had no idea food was such a big part of my life. Talk about absence making the heart grow fonder! I always ate and never thought...now I have to think and it's alot of work! Having the willpower to stay away from food...woooow....what a challenge! I think if I can get through another 9 days of this, I will have conquered a huge giant in my life, mentally...they say it takes 28 days to break a habit...maybe I should continue NO SOLIDS for 28 days and see how I do??? I am tired though...my bones are achy just typing this and my eyes sooooo want to close and take a break, even breathing seems like too much work.

I appreciate the recipes, the advice...but I think I need SHOCK THERAPY or something like that...to make me STAY AWAY from all of this temptation. I just read somwhere that chocolate is liquid by the time it gets to your band...argggghhhhhh!!!!

I'm having a really hard time at home, my husband has gone from pouting to the silent treatment to now just being a total passive aggresive jerk like refusing to eat soups that I make for dinner and going to bed hungry in protest, refusing to help around the house and even giving the kids the cold shoulder just so they will act needier and I will be even more exhausted. It's really HARD to do this alone!!! I don't know what his problem is but it's really getting on my last nerve and I can't even stand to be around him right now, I mean, I slept in the other room last night because I was infuriated at his crappy attitude. I am exhausted and just can't deal...I have to work, care for the kids, fix the meals, do the laundry, shop, clean, and still entertain...I know I just have to hang on a few more weeks...thank God I am going on vacation ALONE in 3 weeks and will get to unwind AND eat...and just relax and feel normal again...I have to look forward to that and believe that I am closer than I think to being thin.

PLEASE SOMEONE SEND ENERGY AND STRENGTH... I am praying for God to get me through but I have alot of guilt that God isn't going to answer me when it comes to this problem...??? Don't ask...

It's 1pm and I want to sleep but I am making coffee instead.

HELP ME!!!

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"I am praying for God to get me through but I have alot of guilt that God isn't going to answer me when it comes to this problem...???"

I can so relate and I know how you feel and I haven't even had surgery yet.

Food has been my best friend, and it's helped me mask the problems in my life outside of my weight for so very long. My relationship problems, my other life issues, my relationship with God....it's like now that I've taken food down from the alter I had it on.....I'm facing all of the issues that I've pushed down in the past (with every bite).

I'm glad you'll have a break. I'm finding it very difficult to function as well and I'm only on day 4 of my pre-op diet which does include protein. So at this rate I don't know how I will be with clear liquids for the first week. So many have done it and I want to do the right thing but I can read the frustration you have and I guess I just wanted you to know you aren't alone out there.

-Bianca

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First, you've nothing that isn't covered by the cross. Read Psalm 51 keeping in mind what David had done and was still able to ask for forgiveness. David was called "a man after God's own heart". Psalm 16:2 is a good example of why.

Like you, I'm on the liquid phase of the diet and realizing just how I've let food become so much to me. I even passed up going to a movie because I couldn't eat popcorn. I wasn't hungry, I just don't know how to enjoy a movie without food. It sounded boring. I may go just to do it.

We have bad habits, practices, and attitudes we need to repent and turn from. We can do it. We have to. I'll be blogging soon about some news I got tonight. A dear friend is in the hospital with only a 50% chance of getting out. Why? She's obese and her problems are piling up. She says she's tired of fighting and ready to die. She would never admit she had a problem and she would never do anything about it. Just kept gaining until she reached close to 400 lbs.

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Let him act out. That's his sin and let God deal with him. Pray for him though. He needs it. I have the opposite problem with my husband. If it was up to him I'd only eat one ice cube a day. He wanted me to stay on clear liquids longer because I was losing weight so fast. :P From the start told him that I wouldn't be cooking dinner for 3 weeks and I haven't. He's cooked all dinners (save 1) and bought most of the food. Truthfully, I think I could have cooked without a problem but I'm enjoying the time off. Don't tell him that.

Don't let your husband sabotage you. Pray for strength and for your husband to support you or at least get out of the way. And don't comfort yourself with food. One thing becomes obvious as you go through forums, not everyone is successful with the band. Let's not waste our money, effort, time, health, and lives on something that doesn't love us back. I'm talking about food.

Go get 'em.

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Hi Storm,

Your post really hit home with me...your story sounded like mine every time I tried to eat proper or diet..My husband acted the same way yours is..until our daughter started gaining weight...then, somehow that was my fault too...I loved my husband (childhood sweetheart) but he passed away a year and a half ago..and I gained freedom to do what I will. Something that was taken from me without even knowing it my Free Will!..wow, what an eye opener that has been, gaining back my free will...so now I eat what I want, do what I want, talke to my kids and try to teach them NEVER to give up your free will to another no matter how much you love them...Stay strong...he won't starve..talk to your kids and let them know how important this is to YOU!! Show them all that you are a wife & mother but that you are also an individual who deserves that respect and free will...Don't give up...I will think of you and send you strength...

Mcichele

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Storm,

Please get in touch with me. I know you are trying to be strong but we really do nee to catch up in person. You do not deserve to be treated that way. Resentment has a way of festering for long periods of time.

Also, the next time you are in the market pick up a box of Nestle Rich Hot Chocholate powder mix WITH CARMEL. It is literally a liquid candy bar for 100 calories a serving.

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Thanks so much, everyone, for your responses. I learned a good lesson- TAKE THE PROTEIN SHAKES! Nothing fancy, I just went to CVS and got some Ensures and Boosts...hahaha...good stuff! It's helping me alot...I can do this! As for my husband, I've spent the last 3 nights sleeping in the other room and getting plenty of rest, I'm just avoiding him right now and it's been pretty easy to do...I'm NOT going to let him influence me right now, this is too important to me. He's much older than me and not working right now, so I'm sure he has alot of issues that are causing him to act like this but I refuse to play into it...I'm really thankful for all of the support on this forum and girls, seriously, we are going to look great and feel great...Anyone want to learn to surf this summer, get your bikini on and come on down to HB, I will give you free lessons...I CANT WAIT TO GET BACK IN THE WATER!!!! Michele, sorry to hear about your husband passing...glad you have your life back though! And Browneyes, I heard Alice is Wonderland is awesome! Go see it! And Bogiesmom, you're sweet...I know...thanks for the encouragement :) Nobody is perfect, he's a good man...he's just human and we're all jerks sometimes ;)

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One of my goals after losing weight was to go to surfdiva and learn to surf! No joke!! I've had to sit and watch others take lessons while I sat on my fat arse missing out on yet another great experience. Sign me up! I need baby waves. I'm pretty shaky on my ankles having broken both but that may change once those spindly things aren't hauling around all this extra weight.

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I was intrigued by your comments about missing food. I am considering lap band (going to my initial mtg. in 4 days) I love to eat, entertain, try new foods, go out with my family and friends. I am worried about the social aspects of being so restricted. I guess that is why I am in this situation. (about 50 lbs. overweight) Do you learn how to focus on other things? I hate to be so food-dependent. How do you make the transition to really enjoying life...not food?

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One of my goals after losing weight was to go to surfdiva and learn to surf! No joke!! I've had to sit and watch others take lessons while I sat on my fat arse missing out on yet another great experience. Sign me up! I need baby waves. I'm pretty shaky on my ankles having broken both but that may change once those spindly things aren't hauling around all this extra weight.

Lets do it!!! Whenever you are ready!!!

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