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Chewing my knuckles


Paula Bee

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My mom has early onset Alzh and lives with us. Some days she can be totally contrary, and yesterday was one of those days. I took her to the dentist to get her new lower dentures, (which we are paying for, btw, as she is financially not able to support herself,) and we got into it right away... over what is irrelevant... it could be anything... things that I have told her over and over and over, and I don't expect to her to remember, but she is bound and determined that I never told her. It reached a point when we got home that I called my sister to plan to send Mom for a vacation there.

Until you have a parent living with you, you don't realize how STRESSFUL it is, and that is when I eat... the more stressed I am, the more I eat. I know it is a victory, but I didn't last night. I went to bed early and willed myself to sleep so I wouldn't think about eating. I was so hungry/stressed that I could have chewed my knuckles.

Today I am starving.. I have eaten just as I am supposed to, but I am starving. I am sure it is head hunger, but that doesn't feel any better. To make matters worse, Mom has been walking around like pitiful pearl saying, "What am I going to do that week when you are not here? I will just have to call you if I forget something." Oh, no... my husband works from home and will be here, and I am NOT answering my phone. I will tell family members to call David and I will call him once a night.

I have chewed my two knuckles up... let me go see if David or Mom will let me chew one of theirs.....

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Hi Paula, the pre-op diet getting ready for a revision surgery is tough! The protein shakes are doing a number on my gut (I have IBS and the protein shakes seem to give me trouble). Its tough to go through stress AND a pre-op diet at the same time - my husband was let go from his job almost 2 weeks ago, so this is a very stressful time right now, and the head hunger - or rather for me, chocolate hunger, is sometimes so loud I think others can hear me crying out for it.

I'm trying to look at it like this, there are so many things going on in my life that I have zero control over, staying on my pre-op diet is one of the only things I CAN control. I keep telling myself Just Do It...

I think I'll blog on this a bit later.... if you need some support, just call me :)

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First of all, we have been where you and your husband are... a number of times. I am glad you see the one thing you can control. That is a turn around from my previous thinking, which was what I EAT and how much of it is the one think I control. You are an encouragement to me.

Just do it! You are, and I will, (although I am still chewing on my knuckles a bit. I wonder if that counts as solids?)

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