robbynnoel

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone)))))))))))))))))))) I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support. I'm feeling really good today. Like a thin girl in a fat girls body that wants to get out...day 2. It's been a very long time since I've felt motivated like this. I honestly believe nothing can stop me. xo

((((((((((((((((((Hugs Auggie))))))))))))))))))) Firstly congratulations on your 22 lb loss! Hang in there, don't be too hard on yourself for feeling you over did it. Stay positive. You are going to do great because you know how to ask for help. That takes courage. I hope you're feeling better hun. xo

((((((((((((((((((((((BTRadio))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hugs to you! I'm so pleased to hear of your success. I love Dr. Ortiz and I'm so pleased I had my surgery at the OCC. Thank you for posting. I've enjoyed reading.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Heidi)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I think you're my long lost sister. We have a bit in common. Congrats to you for refocusing. I had a fill today too. The new format of the forum was a challenge to me too...lots to learn, see and read. xo

(((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone)))))))))))))))))))))))) I've had my first unfill. I haven't had a fill in a long time. I've been very conservative but today when I woke up, it's the first time since my original surgery date (long story) that I've been really ready for a change. To be honest, sad as it sounds, when I had the successful surgery at the OCC I wasn't at my highest motivation. I knew I had to do it, but my heart had been broken by an attempt and another doctor several months prior. That was the surgery date I was phyced for. I am so glad that I switched surgerons and went to the OCC. If I hadn't god only knows what I'd weigh today. Anywho...after the successful surgery I felt like a dog on a leash when it came to movitation. I felt as if I was trying to catch up with my owner...well maybe the dog is a bad reference because they love to go bye bye. I felt more like a child who didn't want to go to school. One who'd rather play outside in the sun then attend school but learned something anyway... Does that make sense...probably not. Along for the ride...that's a better way to describe it. I felt as if I was along for the ride. The motivation really wasn't there. No matter what I did, and believe me, I tried to find it. I guess waiting after hitting rock bottom and walking into surgeon 1's office, to surgery date 6 months later at the OCC soften the motivation. I had accepted who I was again...I guess. Enough of that, today I woke up and felt different. That spark...the sting when motivation is at it's highest peaked today. (Good timing...I got lucky). I know I'm finally no longer just along for the ride. I'm really going to do this now. I can feel it. I had my third fill and things felt different immediately after drinking the barium. To be honest, while I was still laying on the table during the xray. I was asked to drink more water and my throat already felt blocked...with something. I guess I had a funny look on my face. Thank god the xray techs saw me and told me I was not to leave until I had drank a full glass of water. Polite me wanted to just go home...but I did what they asked. I went to the lobby with the water glass and waited. I didn't want to drink...I felt full. I still had a feeling of something in my throat. After about 30 minutes I pb'd. The xray tech saw me go into the bathroom and asked what I threw up. I told her some barium...she asked me if I pb'd all of it and I told her I didn't know. She said I may have drank the barium too fast during the fill and I agreed but she said to go back to the lobby and not leave until I finished my water. And thank god she did. Trust me, everything in me just wanted to go home. After all...I had been there about 2 hours. About 10 minutes later I pd'd again...more barium. I thought to myself...now I've gotten rid of all of the barium. I came out of the bathroom and the xray tech was right there...she told me, didn't ask, they were doing an unfill. I apologized for them missing their lunch and they said that's what they were there for. They removed .2 from what was originally a .9 fill (.7 total) and I instantly felt better. I'm so thankful they were watching over me. I know things are going to be good and that I'm on my way. Plus...since I had an unfill, trust me, I'm scared to break any rules, like eating solids too soon or drinking soda...all bad habits I got into because my motivation was low. So I have high motivation and fear to back that up and prevent me from breaking rules. That with the band and my employer I know I'm on the road to success. Onderland here I come. xo

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I won't post my weight history in text because I've done it a few times (but here it is for referance http://ssimonssays.blogspot.com/2010/07/confession.html). I had my surgery in May of 09. I weighed 258 on decision day. I've had 2 fills. I was 229 respectively when I had my first fill and I'm 228 on my home scale today. I've decided to have another fill. Today is the day. I'm full of emotion. I'm really ready to finally get 'er done. Love to all. I'll post again when it's over. xo

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Angie)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hugs to you. I sent you a pm before I read this. I feel like I've dropped off the face of the earth. Thank you for reposting this, I had no idea. Sending you big hugs and I hope everything is okay. xo

(((((((((((((((((((Bandiva)))))))))))))))))))) Hugs! You nailed it. I see my clients reach goal everyday and they are focused, motivated and following a program the way it's designed. They've amped up their physical activity and so happy with who they've become. I need to stop dreaming of that person, and do it. I'm making the call for the fill today and leaving a vm. Thank you so much. I needed that. xo

(((((((((((((((((((((((Everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hugs! I think I've finally had enough. I had my surgery late May of 09 and although the surgery was absolutely a success, I'm not where I want to be. I've had two fills and I was VERY conservative. My last fill was in September. The good news is that I'm wired just tight enough where I can't put weight on if I fall back onto old habits...but to be honest, I'm not tight enough to encourage me to take the measures I need to take to take the weight off and see some real progress. Part of me believes I'll regret it if I get another fill, especially since I love love love food, but the other part of me is telling me that I did this for a reason, and it's time to get serious. For reasons I am still working out myself, my motivation just isn't there to follow a program outside of the band. I would have thought it would have kicked in for me, but it hasn't. Hoping to get my motivation moving again, I even went back to work for a company that essentially has me weigh and measure people for a living. (I love my job). It certainly helps that when I'm having the desire to eat, I am surrounded by support in regards to peers and food choices, but I'm still able to consume much more than I should be able to. I've been on the fence about this for a long time...a long time. I've given this so much thought. My biggest fear is that when I go in for the fill, it will be too much.

((((((((((((((((((Hot Dog)))))))))))))))))))) Hugs to you. Congrats on becoming a bandito! A year ago I could have written this post, trust me. I remember an hour or so after surgery standing with other patients who had just had their surgery and one stated she was hungry and I stated that I felt as if I could have eaten a full meal as well. I also had a huge fear of vomiting. As far as that goes, I try to eat slowly (when I can remember) and I try to chew chew chew (when I can remember). When I don't remember, like yesterday when I ate a strawberry too fast, I get a "warning" as I like to call it where I have a slight pain in my throat. When that happens, I immediately put my fork down and step away from the table. When I ignore the pain in my throat, that's when it's not pretty. And trust me, I love food, there are times I've tried to eat past that hurt pain. Once it happened once or twice, I decided not to do it any more. That is the beauty of the band. I was miserable for about a week I think. And when I say miserable, I mean miserable. I really regretted getting the band just after the surgery, but despite it all, I'd go through all of the pain again to do it again. I started to feel that way about the band less than a month after the surgery. I can't guarantee you that you'll feel that way, but if you're like me, you won't regret it. Hang in there. You will do great. If you're craving foods, think about keeping a journal so you can write down what you're craving. That helped me a lot. I kept a list on my cell phone of all of my food cravings in the order I had them. If I craved the same food twice, I'd move that to the top of the list. I thought if I kept a list, I'd have a road map of my favorite foods so when I had access to solid food again, I'd have a road map of what to try first. Turns out by the time I was ready to transition to solid foods, nothing on the list sounded good to me anymore. There are some foods I can't eat, but not many. I did have a problem with a strawberry yesterday, but I don't think I chewed it well. Will I ever be able to go to a steak house and order prime rib again...nope, steak is out for me. I just can't chew it well enough. Same with french bread...well, bread in general. I find that after a year, I don't think about or crave either. xo

(((((((((((((((Hugs Debbie))))))))))))))))) Congrats for getting through the post-op liquid phase with your sanity. It's not easy. You are right, your body can't distinquish between thirst and hunger, so as another bandster like to say "sip sip sip". You are doing great. The concerns you feel are completely normal, and if you gain a pound or two waiting for your first fill, it's not uncommon. I may be wrong about this, so I welcome other ideas, I think the biggest losses follow the fills. In other words, because some doctors say have liquids for up to a week following a fill that is when the losses are the biggest because we're only consuming 400 to 600 calories a day (respectively), depending on the doctor. What the band does, is once we transition back to solid foods, without the band, after a big drop of weight, the minute we ate "normally" again, the weight would come back on 3 fold because of the change in our metabolism on the super low calorie days. But with the band, it takes some time after a fill (just as it did for you after the surgery) to be able to eat a normal amount again, and by the time that rolls around it's time for another fill so the majority of the weight lost during the liquid phase doesn't have time to come back on before the fill. Does that make sense? At least that is my theory. I could be totally wrong, it was just how I find myself making sense of it. I was banded a year ago yesterday and I think it's time for me to get back to basics, which is what has me back on the boards. xo

((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone)))))))))))))))))))) Tomorrow is my first band anniversary. What a year it's been. "I laughed, I cried, it was better than cats." I stole that from another OCC member but what's true is true. So I thought by celebrating I'd do a vision-reality thing. What my life was like when my journey started, compared to where I want to go. I'm halfway in my journey and for me, the "X" factor, the desire I had when the journey first started doesn't sting the way it used to...because to be honest being halfway in my journey, visually I look different and I feel different. I've searched deep for the motivation to continue and I'm hoping this exercise, posted to the world at large will get me there. This journey started on March 12, 2007 when I was 294 lbs. I dieted on my own to get to 212 but on July 7, 2008 (my first wedding anniversary) my mother (I love my mom) passed away and without blinking I was suddenly back at 258. So I made the call. I decided enough was enough! A year ago, I was staying at a hotel room in Tijuana at the Marriott. I didn't believe I'd live through the surgery. (Long story...I can be a little mellow dramatic) I remember waking up the morning of the surgery and logging on the the OCC website. I had dozens of supportive posts to read. The one I remember the most was from Carrie. It made me cry. She said she believed in me and that everything would be okay. Now on a side note, moments after the surgery I was being wheeled back to my room demanding my husband send a "cookie bouquet" to the staff at the OCC for doing such a great job. How inappropriate was that? He never sent it but a bit thank you is on my list of things to do. Just after the surgery I was up and around. I was chatting with other patients. We were all so excited and we all felt fab. The day after the surgery I was up and around. My husband and I went shopping on Revolution Avenue. We really had a ball. The following day I was home. I weigh in my low 220's today. I still have a love hate relationship with my scale. Do I wish I had lost more? Sure I do, but do I know that the lapband is what keeps me roped in...absolutely I do. I do I do I do. I decided not to wire myself tight. It was really a personal decision. I just like to taste, chew and enjoy food too much to wire myself tighter. I've had two fills. My last fill was in September. Do I think one more fill would kick start things, absolutely, but again, I want to taste, chew and enjoy so I'm holding off for now. Just before the surgery I started filming a cooking show called "What's for Dinner? With Robbyn & Gina." Gina is the brains of the outfit. I am fearless and a marketing genius. We're a good team. I should mention that Gina is fearless too...as all good Conciatores are, but again, that's another story. How much do I like food? Well I just spent about 6 hours making a lasagna, not just from scratch, but with homemade sauce. Our family (The Sabella's used to sell their pasta sauce in the grocery store). Ahhh....the joys of being Italian. Okay, so where am I going with this? God only knows. I guess what I'm trying to say is that for the most part food is my life. A part of my life I am not willing to give up. I'm able to give it up...I'm just not ready or willing. It's part of my heritage. My Grandfather was a renowned chef...I want to carry on his legacy. So what is a girl to do? Well, I decided to take action, in another arena. I went to work for a well known, international, weight loss vendor. I worked for them years ago and after a year of employment (yea...it took a year, I'm pretty hard headed) it sunk in but as luck would have it that's when I left. Anyway I just started working for them again and the scale is moving. The good news is that I'm learning again about food. What a portion size is. How many vegetables to eat in a day, how many fruits, etc. Because of my background in food, I've even written about 15 recipes for them. We'll see if they stand up and take notice. And if they don't it's okay, because I'm doing this for me and no one else. So here I am, a year later...not in onderland. Did I expect that? No, it never occurred to me that I wouldn't be at my goal weight. Will I live? Absolutely I will. My choices improve each and every day. I will get to onderland and I will do it this year. I have all of the tools I need. Do I regret getting the band. Not at all! The band is the reason I've been able to keep the weight I've lost off. I'm very confident that as I continue to lose, the band will be the biggest reason (until I get my head together) that the weight will stay off. Thank you all so much for being there for me. I've included a link to my food blog. I'm focusing on low cal recipes...well not all of them, but many of them. http://whatsfordinner-acrossstatelines.blogspot.com/

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Widdlee)))))))))))))))))))))) I am usually okay with salad, but I do have my moments. Boy do I have my moments. I have more problems when I slip into modes of unconcious eating. xo

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((JHawk)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Perfect Day - Legally Blonde Soundtrack I listen to this every day I need to get my sales $$$$ up at work. I love it. xo

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone))))))))))))))))))) My list screams "80's Rock". lol Hells Bells-ACDC Tears are Falling-Kiss Fantasy-Aldo Nova Dancing with myself-Billy Idol Living on a Prayer-BonJovi Round and Round-Rat Don't tell me you love me-Night Ranger I Can't Drive 55-Sammy Hagar Rescue Me-Y&T Eye of the Tiger-Survivor and The theme from Rocky...a must must must

((((((((((((Hugs RCR)))))))))))))))) I'm glad you have a surge of energy. I recall I had a surge of energy while at the OCC. The night following my surgery I was up around 3 am and I turned on my TV. I was watching the food network. lol Then I walked down the hall and someone else was watching the food network as well so I didn't feel too crazy. As far as the energy lasting...I find the more I do during the day the more energy I have...the less I do, the less energy I have. It's like exercise. The more I feel I move, the better I feel and the higher my energy. Welcome to the banded. xo

((((((((((((((((JHawk)))))))))))))))))) Hugs to you. You've been such an inspiration to me. Thank you so much for posting. I look forward for seeing your "new rear" photos when you get that swimsuit on! xo

(((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Jill))))))))))))))))))))))) Oatmeal Breakfast Squares are manufactured by Nestle and sold at Jenny Craig. When I decided to get the lapband I never saw myself doing a formal food program like Jenny Craig again, but after almost a year of being banded I realized that everyones needs are a little bit different, and the best solution for me, right now, is to let a pre committed menu guide my healthy choices. I'm working on my weight loss mindset...and my eating patters. Thank god for the band, it's an amazing tool and I don't even want to think of where I'd be without it. I've been looking at myself to try and figure out what it is about Onderland that derails me year after year after year. I may never find the solution, but I am finally in a place where I refuse to go another year without over coming it. xo

(((((((((((((((((Hugs Evette))))))))))))))))))))) Thank you so much for your post. It is wonderful to see your success. It really shows me that it's possible. xo

(((((((((((((((((HopeThisWorks))))))))))))))))))))) Hugs to you. Welcome to the banded. I'm so pleased you're feeling great.

((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone)))))))))))))))))))))) Do you mind that your motivation changes from day to day? I think I have more motivation changes than I do mood swings. Yesterday I saw the lowest number on my home scale since my mother passed away in July 2008, which is the event that launched the journey to this life change. The latest number on the scale marks me being just 11 lbs from my lowest weight since 2004. I've been close before. Right before my mom died I was just 3 lbs from that number (209) and after her death I was at 258 lbs before I could blink...and I threw up my hands and made the decision to get the band. Yesterday it felt so close, but today it feels far away. How crazy is that? Fear is a big part of this. My weight has fluctuated within 10 lbs or so from the 220's since 1993. 17 flippen years. 17 years. Yep, I think what I'm feeling this morning is fear. Fear that despite the band my fear of failure will cause me to stay where it's been comfortable for 17 years. If I think too much about it, how I'm just 21 lbs from Onderland, but how I've been this close so many times and allowed myself to go flittering off in another direction... Believe it or not, writing this post has helped me because just acknowledging that I'm only 21 lbs away from my lowest weight in 17 years is helping to fuel the motivation again. I'm glad I decided to have an oatmeal breakfast square for breakfast rather than garbage.

(((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone)))))))))))))))))))))))) So...I had an aha moment. A non scale victory so to speak. I haven't pb'd in awhile. I'm not wired really tight. In fact, I debated on getting my first fill at all because I didn't want to pb. Anywho, it's been awhile because I've been really chewing and eating small portions but tonight (all day actually) something had me off balance (studying for work to be honest) and I felt like I ate all day long. Then after a glass of wine (which always causes me to eat...) I ended up making myself a plate of nachos. I started to eat unconciously and "tada"...I pb'd. I thought to myself, "well...that's why I got the band." To stop the unconcious eating when I wasn't in the mood to stop myself. I did log every bite, liok and taste today and my total was 1608. More than I wanted but if I compared this day of what I'd consider binge eating to those I had before the band...I could easily hit 3000 without even trying. I've decided to call today a victory. I'm glad the band was there when I needed it the most.

(((((((((((((((((Sueca))))))))))))))))))) That is wonderful to hear. You look amazing.

((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) Welcome fellow bandito! First, I want to congratulate you for taking the most important first step in improving your life! I am so glad you posted this. About a year ago (according to a San Francisco Lapband doctor) I almost died because while under general anesthesia I went into anaphylactic shock. Thus this incident became known as Lapband Surgery attempt part 1. Needless to say, I didn't get the band on that date. I did eventually get the band in late May at the OCC. Thank god. What a difference. I will be the first to admit that I'm the type of person who had to have a horrible experience to even consider having the surgery in Mexico. And thank god I did. There are countless differences but I'll highlight the anneshesia one. While at the OCC, in the operating room, before going completely under the doctor said "Robbyn, we've administered the anneshesia. We can see it traveling up your arm and you are showing no reaction. We're going to put you to sleep now and when you wake up, you won't believe you've had the surgery." And sure enough, when I woke up, I didn't believe I had the surgery.