I know what you are going through and I really feel you shouldn't carry this burden any longer. I also felt that my surgery should be private and found when I came clean with my coworkers (after lying to them for many months) they were fine with it. I have many overweight female friends and colleagues, some are curious about the surgery, others were quick to say they'd stick to the old fashioned method, but none made me feel bad about my choice. If you are worried about the opinion of close friends, just explain that you were afraid that they would judge you and that is why you kept it from them. I'd be willing to bet they will understand - especially if they are true friends.
When it comes to your health, any long term solution is not a cop out. I too sometimes feel that I took the easy way out but there are plenty of people who would not consider the lifestyle changes required by a lap band to be "easy" . My husband, who is a super athlete type said he could never, ever go through what I do with my band. I remind him that he has never been overweight and doesn't understand the lengths I have gone to in my life to be at an acceptable weight. He never made me feel bad about my weight but he sure gave me a hard time about my health over the years and you know what, you can be trim and still be in poor health. Continuing to work out with friends who are trying to loose weight the "Old Fashioned" way is a great way to show soliderity because you will always remember what it was like to be heavy.
If you have had successful weight loss wear it proudly. You did a good thing for your health and you'd be surprised how many people will be truly interested to hear about your experience.
Corrie