Hello, this is my first post in preparation for my first Dr appointment to discuss becoming a 'Bandit'.
I've read all I can read, searched the net, monitored bloggs and talked to a few ppl who are already Bandits.
I have to admit that facing the reality that I cannot do this without help is difficult. I have tried and failed to maintain a stable healthy weight on my own for years. 'Up and down, up and down, each 'down' took me further and further into a state of depression. I no longer undress in front of my husband, most nights I prefer to sleep in the spare room for fear that he may see parts of me exposed. We haven't had intimate relations for over a year, and I pull away when he tries to put his arms around me. I feel very very lonely and incredibly sad most of the time. I'm scared I will lose him one way or another and that includes by completing the self full-filling prophecy myself.
So, I have come to a decision. No more will I accept that I cannot take control of this situation (even if it means I ask for help). No more will I feel ashamed and disgusted of and with myself. I am the master of my own destiny and just as a captain needs a crew, I likewise need you.
I am in the deepest admiration of all of you, you who have succeeded, you who are succeeding,you who are still trying and you who have at least tried. How brave you all are to take on this journey, to ride the waves and clash with the titans. This is a mega-journey, one I hope you will let me take part in.
I hope I have the courage and determination you have all shown.