Since it is not in me to change anyone other than myself, I am setting off on yet another journey. I am hoping to transform myself into an even more beautiful person. I am beautiful, and need some refining work done. A little plastic surgery if you will to fix a spot or three!
My co-worker, who I have been allowing to drain the life force out of me, shared some great news with me today. She is staying here and will not be moving. Our relationship is one that has caused me some pain and discord. I have taught her how to treat me, and well, the way I am treated is not very nice. So now the work begins. I will have to teach her all over, how I want to be treated. This relationship will be evolving….it may cease to exist. Really I don’t know. One thing I do know is this, “I want better relationships for myself.”
I had intended to ride out the storm. The storm meaning, until she moved. Now that she is staying, I will have to fall back on plan B. Plan cop out was plan A. I was going to continue our relationship as it was until she was gone. Since she is staying, that won’t do. The work begins today!
I want to feel good, be treated with kindness and have some self respect. So, now when I feel the signs that I know all to well, I have the God given ability to do something about it. I can change how I react. How empowering is that! I love it. It is painful for me. For a long time, I have cared so much, that it causes me to hurt. It’s time for me to love myself enough to lay some healthy boundaries; Ones that will protect me, as well as others in my life.
I am worth it! I love myself, and I can do this! I deserve to feel good, have quality people who care about me in my life. I do not have to make myself available ALL the time for people.
Oh, and by the way. After my conversation with Jill this morning, I wanted to eat. Yep, my old stand by. The way I stuff, comfort, torture, make okay, treat myself. Gosh I am glad I can have such a good friend in food. *sarcam* Boundaries would be good to have with the worst poison in my life. Food! I will be working on me old friend. (Seems that relationship is not working for me either.)
I am feeling better all ready! I am thinking my way to a new way of acting. I am investing my time and energy into me. Into a better, healthier, skinner me! I am going to be hot again! I can see it already!