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Scheduled my 5th Fill - December 7th, 2009



I scheduled another fill apt for December. I have really been on the fence.

Do I need a fill….? Up until now I haven't had this hard of a time making up my mind.

What the biggest sticking point is the amount of food/portion wise and being MENTALLY satisfied with a smaller and smaller portion of food. For example, yesterday I ate around the band. I had gyro meat for lunch with sauce. I had around 1/3 of the meat when I felt satisfied. So, I stopped, but mentally I was not satisfied. I ended up getting the leftovers out of the fridge and grazed on them.... Normally when I plan my meals I don't have this issue. They are measured out and when the food is gone, I am done.....harder when your food is not gone......Ugh!

When I review my portion sizes with the nurse, it still gets to me when the “goal” is to be eating ¼ cup of food at a meal. I still eat for many reasons other than for nourishment, so I am working on wrapping my mind around less and less food. It’s a process right?

Other news: I had blood work done and all my vitamin levels are good. I am going to work on LIVING LIFE! Not going to think about am I getting in enough fiber, calcium, iron, fruits, veggies, and protein. Going to go with it for a while and see what happens. I don’t like tracking numbers or calories anyway.

Oh, and on a side note, up till now I have had very few "episodes" and no stuck oh my goodness heart attack chest pains.....getting another fill means these will be more of a possibility....SCARY! I’ve read posts about the pain and fear from how it feels. Sounds terrible.

Those are my ramblings for today.

Peace and Joy!


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