Jann

Oh YAY for you and Dr. O!!! Can't wait to see it. Congratulations. =D> Jann

Excellent post and although I'm sorry you had to go through that I'm really happy it's a lesson learned. Four pounds! WOWSER, WTG girly! Jann

Something about you moves me, Darlene. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy you aren't giving up. You are worth it. I grew up in a totally dysfunctional family with a beyond abusive mother. To this day she is till bitter and twisted but she is still my mom. Anyway long story short, despite my successes later in life I turned it all inward and on myself. I began to hate me I think because that was something I had control over. I have total self esteem issues. I know I do. I keep people in my real life very much at arm's length and it takes a while for people to get close. When they do get in I wrap them in cocoons of love but it's a helluva journey to get there and I appreciate that. I'm working on that. We all at the end of the day carry some kind of baggage in varying extremes. You always speak in such hard concrete terms. I rather doubt you are a horrible, horrible person. Did you kill a kid? A puppy? A kitten? I work with homicide -- I know the very definition of a horrible, horrible person and I rather doubt you match up. You want to be a happy healthy girly. It's totally doable. I have found that if you move on others will too. There will be those who won't participate in your journey. So be it. Just keep moving forward. People will see the changes in you and they will act accordingly. Only you can stop you, I promise you that. Don't hinge your future on external stuff and history. It comes from within. People aren't paying nearly as much attention to you as you may think. Some of your perspective is just you! Step back, fix what you can and move on. The rest becomes just that -- history. Hugs! Keep going girly. You know you can do it! Jann

Wot Jzzy said! Let us know how you are feeling! Jann

Thanks Jude, I've printed it and put it on the fridge. Even though I have the book there are times we need reminding. It brought to my attention that I've deviated and need to get back to being a good bandster. There goes my cheese and pickle treats! <pout> Excellent post! Jann

A boo is Jann speak for have a look -- hehe

Already printed and in the binder! Thanks for that! Jann

Welcome Mary Beth! Jump on in! Jann

Rice gets me every single time. A teaspoon full and I'm in full PB -- strange that! Jann

OMG, look at you go! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Jann

I googled food obsession and found these sites. There are tons more I just didn't list them. http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/211 http://www.amazon.com/End-food-obsession-b...m/1MGH4ZNTM52KW a list of books that may be available at your local library http://hubpages.com/hub/Addiction-Treatmen...-Food-Obsession http://shopping.msn.com/prices/stop-overea...-proven-program http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/hea...00108_breakfood http://www.shrinkyourself.com/food_addicti...sion.asp?bhcp=1 Maybe have a boo, Darlene, and see if there's anything helpful in there? We really want you to succeed! Jann

We're here for you, hun! Jann

hehe -- you go girl!

OMG, you are simply gorgeous! Profound, absolutely profound. Jann

Wow, what you don't learn in here. I've always known exactly where my port is and always been able to feel it through my skin. I thought that was normal. It doesn't bother me and you can't see it so I'm not at all worried about it. Jann

OMG, that sounds soooooo good. I've never heard of them. Any clue on cals per? Thanks for this! Jann

Kim, I love your pic!!! Thanks for sharing. Jann

YAY for you!!!! I'm happy for ya. Nice work girly! Jann

WTG Kimmy!!!!!!!!!! Jann

Very nice! Thanks for sharing! Jann

This post breaks my heart more than anything else because you've lost your dream before it even started. You sound so defeated. Your pain is palpable and your words are final. They don't have to be that way. You think you've stretched your pouch but you don't know that to be true. Is there no FillCentreUSA or whatever everyone else is going to anywhere near you? There has to be resources. You got the band, you were that tenacious, now you need to grind down and do the same for a fill doctor. You are self destructing, hun. You lost that first 32 pounds which means you know bandster guidelines. You lost the pre-weight to get the surgery so you've done the liquids thing. START AGAIN with or without a fill. Get yourself back on track. You have to get out of this downward spiral and you have to do it now. You are 44 not 94. Get yourself back to the proper headspace. Go back and read all the posts, read all the WLS books, do the before and afters, talk to us, talk to somebody. We are here for you. Rant, rave, let it all pour out, we'll listen BUT DO NOT GIVE UP. If you can't find your way back on your own let us help you. Help us to help you. I'm here and I'm listening. Jann

Ironically the most grounded of celebrities do not read their press good or bad. It's what apparently helps in keeping them grounded. What other people think really of this decision at the end of the day has no bearing. The result and the change reflected in quality of life does. I read the first three or four pages of comments and my blood pressure went up incrementally! I cannot believe how opinionated these uneducated hacks are. Whew! I feel better having said that. I really don't see this as an age based issue. Fat is fat regardless of age. The only difference is your g'son is still developing his fat cell numbers and we're done. Fat cells NEVER decrease in number, even when you lose weight. They simply contract and empty. When you regain weight they swell and fill. Liposuction does decrease the number but having said that if you gain weight after lipo the fat cells swell and reach levels where they split off technically increasing the number again. When your entire family is healthy, happy and capable of great movement and freedom your point will have been made. Going forward does just that. I'm thrilled to tiny bits and pieces for all of you and a lil jealous, truth be told. Wish I had a whole family of banders!! Truthfully, had this been optional for me in high school I would have been on it like a dog on a bone. In my opinion, your g'son is a very lucky boy indeed! Warm hugs, Jann

I hear that sister! I can't get hubby to budge either. He outright refuses to consider the band. He's about 6'2", 350 pounds and I worry about him constantly. Can't get him to quit smoking either. Bah humbug! Jann

That is so awesome! Talk about family support and understanding of band-life. YAY for the Fishells!!!!!!! I'm glad you are here, Jazzy! Jann

Thank you. <smile>