As selfish as this may sound, you don't forgive for their sake. You do it for your own. My dad has cancer, my mom absolutely treated him like crap and in fact said point blank "I hope it kills you" when he was diagnosed. When he left her she blamed me. It was my fault not hers. She abused him for 54 years and he just wasn't gonna stick around anymore. Yay for him! Dad stayed for the kids. I'm like, "Uhm, we're all in our 30's, 40's and 50's now" DUH! He actually told me getting cancer was the best thing that ever happened to him. It gave him the will to break his complacency and he found out there was love in the world. He's with another woman now who unfortunately also has cancer that she thought was in remission. She just found out she's not and it's in her lymphatic system. We're not hopeful.
In the interim, Mom hasn't talked to me in months except for when my aunt told her I was on life support in August. She called me, told me she loved me and hung up. She hasn't returned my 32 calls since. She's told my five brothers and my aunts that she doesn't have any daughters. I don't own that, she does. When she dies, and she will, she's in renal kidney failure, I won't cry for her, I'll cry for the tragedy of the loss of who she could have been.
As for how you are going to do it, that's simple. Let the past go. Stop worrying about how you will be received. It will cripple you. As you change positively so will the environment around you. Those that choose not to forgive have that right, concentrate on the ones who do and the new people you meet knowing that you own what you have done but you have moved forward.
Jann