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It's been almost two months since my last confession


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(((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs Everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))

I have been really quiet (again)., but I do have some news. I had my second fill on September 28th (1 cc for a total of 2.5 cc) and it's been a very interesting experience.

I've often heard the term "sweet spot" and I thought sweet spot meant a feeling of fullness as well as feeling emotionally satisfied with the amount of food consumed.

:)

I'm pretty confident that I've hit my "sweet spot", if I put 3 table spoons of food in my mouth at any time of day I instantly have a feeling of, "if I put another bite I'm in I'll pb", but I'm not emotionally satisfied so often I'll put that 4th bite in anyway and then run for the nearest bathroom.

I do think I'm getting better though, mentally about choices. Prior to the second fill, although I did pb on occasion I pretty much was able to eat anything, in whatever quality I wished and although I hate to admit it, I just wasn't mentally ready to follow the program (any program) the way it was designed.

So with the second fill, I've been thrown into following, like it or not, because I really have no choice, which is why I decided to get the second fill in the first place.

I have been losing weight, but it has been slower than I would have expected. Why? Because I was not ready to follow this program or any other program the way it was designed. I have a wonderful life, but I recently lost my mother (I lost my father and brother years ago) and my husband and I decided it was time to move from our home in San Francisco to the North Dallas area of Texas. I recently found employment (a big change from my corporate management job in San Francisco) as a clerk for the county we moved to and we're living in a hotel because our house hasn't been finished yet.

Not that I was mentally ready to follow prior to the move either, but I decided to get the lap band procedure to force my hand so to speak. I am very happy because that is what the lap band procedure did for me. It forced my hand. Like it or not.

lol

Anyway, back to the amount of loss, it's been small in my eyes (but for me right now anything is good) because prior to getting the lap band I was on 2 meds for blood pressure and one for high chor. plus a happy pill. The theory was, if I was on a happy pill, I'd eat less because I wouldn't eat if I wasn't happy. It did work for a bit, but when my mom died, the weight started to come on again...and again, I decided to get the surgery before I gained everything I had lost back.

We moved to Texas and my prescriptions ran out, (actually before we moved the prescriptions began to run out) but you get the idea. This did affect the scale loss because the blood pressure meds kept the water and sodium out of my system, so I wasn't gaining but because my system is carrying more water than it did prior to the surgery, the scale doesn't show that crash water loss that most people have when they first start a program.

I went to the Doctor last Friday to ask for the prescriptions to be filled. He looked at me and basically said nope. When the prescriptions were first prescribed, I weighed 294. Last Friday, fully dressed in Texas clothing (which included heavy jewelry and boots) I was 229. Just as Dr. Miranda suspected when I first had the surgery, I had lost enough where I didn't need the meds anymore. I know that was back in May but it took awhile (obviously) before I found a new health care provider. lol

My surgery weight at the OCC was 248 I believe, so even though it's been four months, for someone who admittedly wasn't motivated at ALL to follow or do anything I was supposed to do, to be taken off all meds AND had a loss of 19 lbs, I'd call it a victory.

I'm rambling here...it's too early I guess. I don't have cpu access at work, and very limited access in the hotel, which is another reason I've been quiet.

So I guess in short (too late) I just wanted to say my journey has finally begun. It took four months but it has begun and I'm really happy I took the step to have the surgery to force my hand. All of the weights I noted were before my journey had begun so it will really be interesting to see what happens there.

Hugs everyone. Take care!

xo

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((((((((Robbyn))))))))) I am soo glad to see you. I've missed your good cheer! Soundsl like you have had a bit of change going on. I am very sorry about the loss you feel when in comes to your momma!

I hope you can check in with us from time to time.....I really have missed you. You are doing great! Off all the meds! Wooo hooo! I have a slow loss rate too. Not for lack of desire, that is for sure. I look at it this way, I am in it for life. I'd like to loose my weight over the next couple years. I am already off to a good start. I am down 35 lbs since April. Pretty cool! Granted I am not on the fast track, but hey a loss is good. I am happy with progress.

Great hearing from you again.

Angie

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Robynn,

I have been thinking about you, I am so glad that you are back. You sound like you are taking control of your life and doing great! Congrats on the seconds fill, Im really glad that you got it. The band is to help us and why not take full advantage of it. I think you will find that the fill is going to help that weight come right off....and down from 294 That is just GREAT!!!!!!

Glad to see you back on here and please please please dont be a stranger. You are such a great motivator to this board and have been missed!!!!

Carrie

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So glad you checked in to say :-h and update us all as I'm sure I'm not the only one who's wondered about you over these past few months.... And yes, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y it is woman!!!! In more ways than 1. You should be proud of yourself. As they say "Slow and steady wins the race" and your goal to a better, more healthy YOU is right around the corner. Keep at it - We're all here for each other! ><'

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