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Trouble at work


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There is a cycle that bad relationships go through. Like with a guy who is awful to you, then he is nice to you, then awful again. They call it the cycle of abuse. Well I am in that at work. This woman. I try to be her friend. It will go for about a month where things are good and then she will turn on me and she is really mean. It seems like she is having a problem with me because I am feeling so good right now. I think her life is a mess, I have no idea. But it hurts me everytime. I dont know how to get out of this. If it was a guy I would be out of it easy cause I would just dump him. But you can't do that with people you work with. You have to see them everyday. You have to be professional. I guess I could quit being her friend. But then somehow she worms her way back in, just to hurt me again. This time I put my foot down and tried to defend myself, it was terrible. She made me cry. Then she made snotty remarks about how no one appreciates her. I was like give me a break, I should have said out loud "wasnt enough I bought you a purse in mexico" she didnt get me nothing for my birthday. I just want it to end. It made me want to come home and eat. I have 4 days left on liquids, there is no way she is going to mess me up. I just dont know what to do. How do I feel good about myself when this keeps happening to me. If I didnt have to work with her it would be easier but unfortunately I do. what a mess.

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Hi Stormy, try not to let people like that get to you, you know you deserve better than that.

I would simply tell her that it would best to have a professional relationship only. Friends do not treat each other that way.

Chin up and be the bigger person (no pun intended)...good luck!

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Ah yes one of those people. Unless she's your boss, you can just walk away when she start into you. Getting a response like what you described is probably what she's after. After all, if the people around her are miserable, then her life doesn't look so bad by comparison.

If you want to really tick her off, be happy regardless.

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Stormy

Think of her as a BIG FAT JOKE!!!! And when she starts in on you just laugh and walk away. I think God puts people in our life like that to make us see how good we really have it. Plus it does give you something good to laugh about.

By the way how have you survived the 21 days? Im day 6 and think I might be going crazy!!!! Oh yea Im already there!!!! LOL

Susan

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My mom used to tell me..."Kill her with kindness". I have the same situation at work with more than just 1 of my coworkers. They are a bunch of gossipy young women that think the world revolves around them. I feel like the old lady outcast much of the time when they come on at 7 pm. Luckily I only have 3 hours with most of them but it can be awful. I realized just recently to consider the sources...Obviously their lives are unhappy in some way and they thrive on making others lives just as miserable. They sometimes arn't even aware what a piece of work they really are. Anyway it dawned on me that I was giving them too much power, even any at all over myself and how I feel. From that day on I have held my head up high, smiled and kept it strictly professional, and I've not allowed any comments or actions to upset me. If I start to get upset or hurt feelings I sort of click this switch in my head and focus on to whom I answer.....and it's certainly not them. We all have these type of people somewhere in our lives, they are petty, 2 faced, story tellers but they are just like us...people. When they start to get you upset just make an extra effort inside to always say something to yourself like.."consider the source" or this pooor person" or something along those lines. Say it each time you have a negative interaction with them. Soon this saying will pop into your head automatically when you see them and you won't focus on how they are trying to hurt you. It's brainwashing yourself to not allow them to hurt you. You don't need that, you are a strong woman who can let this not bother you if you choose to.

:lb4:

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Completely agree with Julie. Obviously there are some real insecurities on their parts if they are going to act like that. I would only be interacting with them when you have to for work and beyond that forget it! I don't have time or energy for people like that in my life. As hard as we try to be nice to others sometimes they just don't reciprocate and that is their loss because we are cool ass people! :P

I know it is easier said than done, but don't let her get to you. Keep your chin up! :)

Shelby

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This girl sounds pretty darned toxic! I'd be putting some serious space between myself and her and quietly seriously not caring what she thought one way or the other. She doesn't sound like she's capable of having your best interest at heart. I'd start with setting some boundaries with yourself around her, she'll clue in eventually. When she starts her crap just shut down, don't give her anything to bounce off you with. You still have to work with her so hardcore isn't the approach. Don't let her transfer her crap onto you. Like others here said, let your happiness act as your shield. Her problems aren't your problems. Go with your natural high, hun!

Jann

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