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Changes, oh how I love to see the changes.


AngieB

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Changes, oh how I love to see the changes.

I am one of “those” fatties that got this way by not having the stop button. You know the type of person who could purchase a pumpkin pie for desert and by the next day the pie would be half gone. Not to mention, that I was the only person eating the pie! Yes, sad to admit it but it is true. I was the person who would buy little Debbie’s snack cakes. Hide a few boxes in my closet and put the rest in the cupboard. Eat one whole box the same day I got it, the one in my closet of course. Yes, my friends. I could do that. The entire box, by my self!!! I had no stop button, or a full signal. I would shamefully sneak the box in the trash. I would over eat in secret to avoid the looks, comments, and disgust from the ones I love.

I am please to report that my husband bought a pumpkin pie and a pecan pie on Sunday. We froze the pecan, otherwise it would go bad. My son and I have shared the 2 pumpkin pie slices; one slice on Sunday and the other on Monday. Two slices gone – not half of the pie. Two small slices mind you. Not the normal slice of pie you would get at a restaurant. Bandster style slices. Thank you Jesus for this band! I tell you what, it is giving me balance and an awareness that I have been missing.

Proudly I proclaim that more than ¾ of the pie is still waiting to be consumed! This is the change I am happy to see! I no longer purchase “extra” Little Debbie snack cakes to hide and binge on. Matter of fact I don’t even touch my husbands snacks. I buy them for his lunches and now they are safe! I love feeling the success of the band!

When I eat now, sometimes there is a discomfort. A discomfort in my head as well as my stoma. Let me give you an example so you can see what I mean. For instance, last night I made some mean tacos. I fixed a hard-shell for myself. I broke up the hard shell put some cheese, turkey burger, ff refried beans, green chili’s, low fat sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes on it. Loaded! I look at my plate, and the taco fills up most of the plate. I use a salad plate or a side plate now as a regular plate. Now I know darn good and well that it is more than a cup of food. I sat down thinking, I am going to try and eat this, at least as much as I can. What the heck Angie!? That is not the attitude for success!

I begin eating, oh it tastes so good! Before the taco is ½ gone, I feel satisfied. I think to myself….”oh this tastes so good, I wish I could eat more.” I take another bite…..and just one more…and you guessed it – it was one to many. Ugh! WHY!? So now I have gone 2 steps past the satisfied, and am now in the two bites to many stage. I end up having the last bite return. Yuck. Even thought I know the signs I force the issue. Head discomfort and stoma discomfort. Ugh! See what I am talking about. Adjusting mentally is still a work in progress. I do good, I don’t do so good!

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