stormy

Nope had to work today, but bring food and I can open the pool when I get home. I have a barbeque, there has to be something we all can eat. I hope the pool dont get too warm, if so I will throw some cold water in there. I will post what the pool looks like under my album so you can check it out. Let me know and I can open her up. It is a blast!! Just dont laugh at me in a suit..

Oh my it is hot. My house stayed pretty cool and I have air in my room but man this is horrible. We have a built in pool in the back yard and I am about to go out there and dive in. Julie, get your suit out girl, you gotta check it out. My poor little guy can't take this heat. Air in the car, Air in the house, Air at daycare, Air at work. This is crazy. I woke up this morning it is still hot. I do 80 pretty good, anything beyond and I am FOUL. FOUL I tell ya!

There I was in the middle of Safeway, my son laying on the ground throwing a complete tantrum. I remember thinking when I saw kids like that, my kids will never be that way. Well think again. My son is autistic and yes he is like that. All I wanted to do was make a stop on the way home to get my medication. It is hot outside and unfortuately, this set him off. I am not happy about sweating either but there everyone was looking at me. I was so embarrassed. I was just thinking, how can I get outta here. He is so heavy and I am so big, that when I attempted to carry him out of the store kicking and screaming, I could hardly breath. I had to stop two times to catch my breath. Finally I found a shopping cart to put him in so I could get him outside. I came home and cried my eyes out. How can I think about leaving him for 4 days? Does this woman who is going to be watching him have any idea what she is up for? He is going to freak out? I feel horrible about it. But there is a part of me that needs to get the freaking away from him. Dont misunderstand me. I love my son. But I am fat and misrible. I can't play with him, I can hardly keep up with him. He is a runner. I am scarred to death he will get away from me and then when he does this. How stupid I feel, people are looking at me. What a terrible mother, they must be thinking. What is wrong with that child? Why can't he be normal? Now we are home and in for the evening and I sit here and take a look at this situation. This surgery is not just about me, it is about him too. I need to be the mom that can swoop him up and carry his little butt out of the store. I am so uncomfortable in my own body it is horrible. I have to get stronger, because he is getting bigger. How scarry is that? and I have to get over what people think of me and my son. He can't help it, he is my baby, stop looking at me, dont feel sorry for me, just walk away.

Can you still get banded if TOM comes. I am late and I maybe late again next month and I get banded then, is that going to be an issue? How embarrassing.

Here is mine http://www.weightview.com/new/resultsshown...pass=paddock203 thank god I finally did something with that hair, UG

I had no idea you could buy breast implants on ebay. Is there nothing they will not sell. Oh my god!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. They even have some women selling a "spell" to assist with low sperm count. Ebay is getting crazy.

This is exactly why I didnt even bother applying here is the states. Too much to deal with. I am so glad that I am going this route, I am nevous but I trust this is the best way.

OH MY GOD !!!!! Please tell me I am going to look like that . WOOOOOOO WEEEEEE WOW. Smoken!!!!

I watched it yesterday and my concern was the parents who had the full blown surgery. But really it is between the child and the parent. They have to decide what is best. If a child is 300 pounds and is suffering then they need to do something about it. I dont agree with him as if to leave the child there and trying all these yo yo diets that go no where fast. I dont think that is healthy. All the kids on here looked healthy. I was concerned about the one who now has a drinking problem. That made me think twice about my issues, but unless a person has been there, they cant really say that it is a bad move. I think since banding is less evasive, that is the way I would go with my child. There is no way I would let my child suffer. You did the right thing. Thank god Dr Ortiz was there to help. I haven't been down there to get my band yet so when I saw Mexico, it did kind of scare me. But the clinic looked nice. Thanks for going on the show and speaking out.

I got mine back, I totally love it. What a motivator. Thanks so much, I love this site!!! They even shrunk my butt. HAHAHAHA

Last night hubby and I went to dinner, it was my sons birthday. We had a very nice dinner. At the end of the meal she came by and asked us if we wanted pie for desert, I told her no. He said his dinner came with pie, I told him, he dont need it. He got mad. He said he wanted the pie. I was stunned that he could get mad over a piece of pie. I explained to him that he has about 30 days to lose 14 pounds. He said so, I explained that we need to work together on this. That it is time to make good decisions so we can lose the weight. He said whatever and we left the restraurant. I was completely amazed that he could be so upset over a piece of pie. When we got home I asked him if he really wanted this band. He says he does. But I question if he has the full concept of what is going on here. He eats so much, there is not a moment that he is not sticking something in his mouth. I am concerned about him. I believe what they said on Oprah yesterday, you do have to get to the bottom of what made you fat and I think I have found it. I have become codependant to his eating. If that makes sense. He told me that he is afraid I will lose the weight and leave him. Well to be honest, that could happen because I am no longer willing to live this way. He comes home and gets on the computer for 4 hours and then goes to bed. That is no way to live. I know he wants to lose the weight, I just think he is overwhelmed by it. All I can do is be supportive, but I will not let him take me down, this is too important. I hope that does not make me a bad person. But if I need to leave to be healthy, than that is how it has to be.

I called the doc this morning, she said I have to lose 12 pounds and hubby has to lose about 14. We can start our diets at the end of the month, I am getting on mine now, I have to make sure I lose this. I am going to get hubby on board soon. It is going to be hard but we can do it. I even got a call from one of the loan companies. They still want us, but I think my medical loans has already paid. I will check with them later. How exciting. I can't wait to get started.

I sent mine, I can't wait to see what they come up with.

O -Open your eyes and see the new you

Yes I am counting down. Ok so tomorrow I am going to call Dr Miranda, even though it is early. Someone told me to call her to get things started. Then I will have hubby call her too. He works until about 3 pm so I will have him call once he gets off work. I am not sure where to start but I want to make sure we lose what we need to so we can make sure to have the surgery. I have been trying to explain everything to my husband, but he is just trying to wait until the last minute before he freaks out, I think. I am going to start throwing away anything in the house that we should not be eating. He will have to give up on the idea of cupcakes and ice cream. HA! Although my son doesn't. I know this is going to be tough, during this time. But I know we want this bad enough, he is going to have to just do it. I will call him and bug him at work if I have to. Does anyone have any advise on what they did during this time to get ready?

He saw me, just a glance. He joked with me, He said dirty little things. I hear what he's saying. But right now I dont feel real good about myself. These extra pounds have affected my self esteem. Little pains that my body tells me daily, make it hard to jump out of this seat and tell him who I really am. I miss the old me. The one who ran up and down these halls. The one who played music for him and danced in front of him and showed him my passionate side. How truely lonely I get inside. How horrible to feel this way. It is not me. I am this frisky lady, who loves to have a good time. He would buy me the first drink and I will laugh my ass off as he told me his first little dirty joke. He played me like a fiddle. I can be strong for him, but inside, I want this weight gone and I want to be running down the street screaming, I am alive! I pray they dont stop this surgery from happening. There is no words to explain how badly, I need this to happen. How badly, he and I need to again be that little couple in the back of the room making out. This is our chance to start over. He can walk this way with me, start over. This has to happen. It is the only way. :lb12:

Mom said you depecote went generic so it wont be costing her as much anymore. I found out that my sister attempted to rent a wide screen TV in moms name, so when she called to ask for more money, I threw that in her face and told her if she can afford to rent a tv, she can afford to pay her her meds. I also found out my sisters boyfriend has a warrent out for his arrest. So I warned her about this also. I dont think she will be calling me for a while. She is not happy. Meanwhile, I attempted to talk to mom everyday and let her know that she has options and she does not have to stay there and tolorate this non sense. She wants to stay so I will just wait and see what happens. Thank you everyone for your support.

I can be a bit whiney too, especially if I am complete freaked out. I am currently scarred- freaking. I wonder how much I will miss food. But I wont miss the fact that I can't find anything to wear because I am so FAT! I dont really care what drama happened on here, I hope it goes away. I am not going to ignore anyone yet but I am glad that option is there. Thanks for letting me know. I think this site is great. I dont know where I would be without it. One question, should I start with the slimfast, or did other people find a better drink to use for pre-op diet?

I signed up here in Dec of last year. It took me until this last month to make up my mind about whether I wanted to do this. So many things on here made me take a look at my life. Tired of shopping and looking for another outfit again in size 20 and seeing all the people who are healthy and then to hear my dr tell me that I am at risk because of being fat. I had to make a decision. Everyday I came on here, reading how people are doing, understanding that things are a struggle. Now knowing this will not be easy, has made me understand that this is not a quick fix but a way of life. All of that said, I am saddened to see the site turn negative. In my opinion as someone who is not banded yet and who is scarred of what I will become. I want it all to stop. I need you guys. I know that I am not perfect, I may cheat, I may do things wrong. But I also know that this is about living, not dieing. I dont want to die. My son needs me and I need others like you to help me. I dont think I can do this alone. Please, whatever happened. Stop. How can I make you understand. We need eachother. So someone cheated, so what. If they want to wreck their band and be stupid, then that is their choice. I pray I dont do that, but like I said I am not perfect. I go for surgery on the 19th of Sept. I am scarred about the financing, the surgery. But what scarres me more than anything is to think that people like you, who I have seen grow and support eachother, wont be here to help me. If I dont do this, and do it right. I dont know what I am going to do. Please. I can't say enough, new people like me. We need you guys. Please stop whatever happened, forget it. Can't we start over?

Wow, what happened, I must have missed something. I haven't even got my band yet and I see someone leaving the site. Did someone say something mean? Is someone upset? I think this is one of the hardest things that people have to go through, we need to support eachother, it is so important, whatever happened, can't it be worked out?

Giving up the mochas will be the hard part. I do have it with low fat milk but I doubt that makes a difference. I will go look at slim fast tonight and see what flavors it comes in. Now if she talks to me like that, I dont like that at all. She dont have to be rude. That just seemed rude. Just cause we eat lean cuisines dont mean we wont get fat. Geesh. Guess I am in a mood today. My anxiety is high. I need to take care of that. Once this is over, I will feel better.

So if my surgery is on the 19th of Sept. Does that mean around the 1st, I would start the pre-op diet? Does someone call me from OCC or if my BMI is 39.9, then I dont need to call them, so I just start it and go from there? I figured I would do the slim fast in morning and afternoon and then the lean cuisine. Maybe I should start on the 10th instead. Hubby has BMI of 43.3, I think he has to call and talk to someone there. Dr Miranda. I think maybe she will give him advise or something. I was just wondering how all this worked. And how, geesh how do you just stop eating. Can I still have my mochas' during this time?

I will, I will try. Thank you for responding. You guys all rock!!