Your post really touched me. I'm sorry you feel so bad and can relate to the depression being overweight can cause.
I've fought my weight most of my life and by the time I started considering the lapband, I felt I was out of control. My weight consumed my thoughts, it was my first thought in the morning (usually guilt because I'd gorged the day before) and throughout the day: when I got dressed, showered, could barely tie my shoes, was going to require a seat belt extension on an airplane if I gained any more, looking at pictures of myself...the list goes on and on and everyone on this site can relate, I'm sure.
I'm so glad you've made this decision. I'm almost as new as you--I was just banded January 7th. For me, this was a last ditch effort after being miserable with my weight for years. I'd always thought of it as giving up, as in giving up on diets, in a bad way. Now I think of it as NOT giving up--I'm doing the ultimate to accomplish my goal, and I know it's not going to be easy.
Are you going to be going to the OCC and Dr. Ortiz? If so, they make the process very easy and you won't have to wait long if you don't have to. Please keep posting and you will get tons of support here.
Best of luck to you on your new journey.