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Feeling Guilty...


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The good news is that the pain from my honeymoon is gone. I had a business trip scheduled right when I got home so I had some time to recooperate. :D

The bad news, that really isn't bad new just bad timing. Now I'm pregnant. What the hell am I paying for birth control for?! This is not something I had planned! Not for a few more years when my hubby is done with law school and we are finiacially comfortable.

I soooo do not want to gain back what I have lost. Does anyone know if they will require me to get a complete unfill? Anyone else been banded and pregnant that can give adivce? I feel so guilty that I am not more excited! But I am scared to death!! I have no family and my hubby's family lives 7 hours away!

Any adivce would be appreciated as I am WAY out of my element here.

Thanks,

Misty

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Hi there!!

Something about the band makes us more fertile!!!! I have heard many stories of women getting banded or bypass & immediately getting pregnant. It is really big no-no for bypass patients.

When were you banded?

From what I understand from talking to several different bariatric doctors before deciding to get banded, you can safely get pregnant 6 weeks after being banded. They don't want you too, but if it happens, you & your baby can still be healthy. You can have unfills as needed to control how much weight you gain while pregnant.

Then after you the baby, you get filled again.

Keep us posted!!!

Best wishes,

Amy

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Whenever women lose a significant amount of weight, I have heard anyway, that this dramatically increases their fertility. I am done having kids, so I was very afraid of this happening. So afraid, that sex is not on the menu right now.

But seriously, congrats. I know it's a shocker when you find out your pregnant and it wasn't planned. I have been there before. But it will eventually sink in and start to feel okay. I did the crying thing every 30 seconds too. But eventually you will see that this baby came at just the right time and it was meant to be. I don't know how pregnancy and the band works. Sorry I can't offer any info there, but best wishes to you and your upcoming "bundle of joy"

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Misty

There is never a good time to have a baby and I have 6.

And I wouldn't change it for the world.

There is a lady at my local support group who just had a baby and didn't need an unfill until she was 6-7 months pregnant.

Good luck and Congrats.

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I am going to call the OCC first thing in the morning, or whenever I feel I have the most self control, to see what advice they have.

I feel so bad for feeling bad, I'm sure there are thousands of women out there who would love to be in my shoes...and they are a seven for any takers! My poor husband must be wondering how I hid my phycosis so well during the two years we dated. He is actually really excited, but he grew up taking care of his younger siblings so its no big deal to him. Me on the other hand, I have never spent time around kids and i'm not even sure I know where to begin caring for an infant.

Oh heaven help me!!!

I'll post when I speak to the OCC.

Misty

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I was told by my doctor that everytime you lose 10 pounds, your body and hormones reset. I found this out the hard way also. March 13th I found out I was pregnant. I was already scheduled for surgery on 4-3-08 and had already paid my money. I was a mess. I had been dating the same guy for about 8 years and only used birth control half of that time and never got pregnant. After I lost 35 pounds (before surgery) boom.............I was pregnant, so it really does happen.

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I have been unable to get pregnant. Hubby has slow sperm and my eggs dont drop right, my tubes also have scar tissue. Getting pregnant is not on the horizon for us. We had to do fertility treatment to have our son. It scarres me to think that now that hubby and I have the bands that we could end up getting pregnant. We do not use any type of birth control because we dont have to. I will be 41 tomorrow, there is a part of me that would welcome it as my last chance and another part of me that says I am done. They told me since I am over weight and have a fatty liver that they wont give me birth control pills. So we dont have a lot of options. I guess if God wants it to happen than that is what is meant to be. I can understand your feelings completely, but I do believe there is a reason for everything in life. It makes me wonder if I should make the decision and talk to hubby about getting cut. Sorry dont mean to be gross but, I feel like it is his job to take care of it, not mine. HA!

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The good news is that the pain from my honeymoon is gone. I had a business trip scheduled right when I got home so I had some time to recooperate. :D

The bad news, that really isn't bad new just bad timing. Now I'm pregnant. What the hell am I paying for birth control for?! This is not something I had planned! Not for a few more years when my hubby is done with law school and we are finiacially comfortable.

I soooo do not want to gain back what I have lost. Does anyone know if they will require me to get a complete unfill? Anyone else been banded and pregnant that can give adivce? I feel so guilty that I am not more excited! But I am scared to death!! I have no family and my hubby's family lives 7 hours away!

Any adivce would be appreciated as I am WAY out of my element here.

Thanks,

Misty

Oh Misty,

How cool. We have three daughters and each one of them was an "oops" (not planned), but so welcomed and so loved. Now, I can't imagine my life without them and the youngest is 18! They are truly a blessing (and a pain in the butt!).

There's a gal on another lap band forum who got pregnant right after her surgery; they left the band in place, just did not fill it. She now has a very healthy baby boy!

Congratulations - it's overwhelming, but such a blessing!

Suzanna

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I'm going to throw a curve ball here.

Why worry? You can't change anything at this point. The "why" and the "how" are simple.

Each day YOU live is a gift, to be cherished and enjoyed. That's why we were banded, we want to maximize the days we have. Now you're pregnant. That is an AWESOME blessing. You will be like many, many others who've never had children... you will learn. You will find yourself looking at videos... reading books... getting advice from a million other mothers who've been where you are and SURVIVED. Nicole said it well... she would not change it for the world.

Your emotions appear to be rampant because of all the hormonal changes you're undoing (and they've just begun). Take things a day at a time. Call the OCC. Get their advice. Call your obstetrician for an appointment, and get their advice. The experts can assist you. Use them. Use them, and use your husband's ear and his wisdom to assist you. If you were a guy, I'd say "get a grip" and then buy you a nice Vitamin water or something healthy while we talked about it.

You can do this. You are traveling a road that has been traversed by many. If you spend too much time worrying and stressing about it, you won't have time to ENJOY the blessed event. You can do this... today, you need to smile, and rub your tummy once or twice, knowing the bundle of heaven within you... then make hubby take you to a special lunch for the three of you. Make him buy you a new shirt or something. And promise yourself you'll be happy with him, so both of you can enjoy the day. At this stage, it's a mind set.

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Thanks to you all!! I am feeling much better after reading all your supportive messages and talking to the OCC. I will not have to be unfilled until later, probably around 6-7 months. They also encouraged me not to wait to long to be refilled after delivery, I guess that is a mistake many women make and why so many end up gaining back.

I had my first visit with my doctor and she was so interested in my band (I haven't told anyone but my husband) I almost forgot why I was there. She asked me if I would be willing to answer some questions and keep her in the loop as she saw the band as a great solution for many of her patients.

Anyway, thank you again, all of you!! I will keep you posted as this new development ;) progresses.

Misty

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Misty,

You sound like me when I first got married. I had lost weight then and kept it off for over 2 years. I got pregnant on our honeymoon and the only thing I could think of was-weight gain. I did a really good job of gaining it too. But that was 9 years ago and I have the MOST precious 8 year old in the world. I was not excited for him to come until I was 7 months pregnant.

3 months ago I found out I was pregnant again. (we had another after my son and thought we were done) The only thing i could think of was Crap no lap band. it was about the weight again. I knew that a pregnancy would put me over 300 and I could not live with that. I was devastated. When I was 7 weeks pregnant I had horrible pain and could not stand up straight, I went to my doc and learned it was an ectopic pregnancy. Oh my guilt. I had to have surgery to remove it and prayed that it was not still alive-I could not kill it. The surgeon said the baby had died early and that the only thing growing was the placenta but now I wish I could have the little one still. weight means nothing in comparison to love a mother has for a child. Children are the only ones who don't judge you according to how you look. I could be 300 pounds and that baby would have still looked at me like I was number 1. Sometimes it takes a few weeks or months to get used to the idea that life is not how we plan. But if I could have planned my children, I would have planned them just how I got them. I am so lucky that the oops happened. I am so glad I had them young-energy is in short supply as you get older.

So a big fat congrats on the news. I understand what you are going thru, I really do. I know you will be so happy this has happened in the future. Best wishes.

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