doinitagann

Oh wow, that is only an hour away!!!! COOL

Who needs a man anyway!!! I just hung up my own drapes all by myself. I am beginning to like the idea of powertools . I am goin to have to get me some of those!!!!!!!!

I live close to the SD/MN border and would love to find a fill doc as well. Hopefully we can find one with flouro.

Thank you all!!!! You are all right of course (as always ) I have decided to let happen what is going to happen. My stressing about it will not change the outcome. If he wants her, then I will go on and be a better me. If it is truly just friendship they are getting out of the deal then we can move forward with working things out and I will still be a better me. Period. So here is to the motivation that you are all so good at giving > . I do not know what I would do without you.

This is absolutely normal. This is major surgery and the gas pressure can get very painful. I will never take a belch for granted again. Her port is going to be sore since they stitch it into the abdominal muscle. It is going to be a few weeks till she feels normal again. I do not know the exact symptoms of a slippage, but i do know what it feels like to get out of surgery.

God Bless you Lisa, You said what i need to hear. I am going to be a new me with or without the husband in the picture. Thanks

So i have been on my own now for 1 week. It has been wonderful. I feel so independant. My husband and i talk at least 2 times a day and we have gotten along all week. BUT- Tonght I am a bit hurt. As I was talking to him on the phone today at about 4:30 he told me that our kids were going to spend the night at a friend of ours who is going thru a divorce. SHE is absolutely beautiful. She once dated a Lou diamond Phillips. anyway, I thought that would be cool cause she just moved into the area with her brother (who is in California, moving his stuff here to South dakota) My kids and her kids get along great. She is a dear girl, she really is. I had to call my husband at about 7:00 to ask a question and it was sooooo loud in the background. I asked if the kids changed their minds if they did not want to spend the night at her house and he said no, they were still going to but they had a BBQ at his house before. i asked him why he did not tell me there was a BBQ and he just said. Well....I don't know. So supposedly we are supposed to be trying to work this out and in the meantime he is BBQing with a single gorgeous woman. He really does not see the harm in this. he has been taking her around showing her the area all week. Just the two of them. I called about 2 weeks ago and asked her if there was anything between my hubby and her. (I was very respectful, just wanted to know the truth) She told me that she saw him as her little brother since she met him when he was 12 and her brother and my husband are best friends. I completely believed her because she was my friend before I even met my husband. I just can't seem to exorcise the green-eyed monster. I am seriously going nutso here. Guess what I want to do? EAT!!!!!! I left to go to wal=mart at 8:30 tonight just so i could get out of the house and keep my mind busy. I am so hurt by this. Any and all advise would be greatly appreciated. I also need a word of encouragement to stay focused. I can pretty much eat whatever I want. I try not to but it gets so difficult when I am so gosh darn emotional. I have not gained and I have not lost in some time but it is only a matter of time before I do gain because the stuff I do eat is not what I would call healthy. Someone get me in control here, please.

Jessica, I could not possibly add more to this post than what has already been said. I believe that God can lead us through even the deepest valleys. I have been having some personal issues right now and I know that I could easily eat the house down but if I turn to Him for strength he leads me. I just wanted to give my support to you. Despite your upringing, you have turned into a beautiful woman, in and out. Your posts are always inspiring and encouraging. I am turning that around for you now. You are stong enough to forgive and I so respect that. Don't allow it to turn into resentment. Making these two people into wards of the state should give them the proper care they need. You would not be abandoning them but would be freeing yourself. Even though they do not deserve a thing from you, even your forgiveness, the anger that can harbor inside only hurts yourself. They are not getting harmed from it at all. If you can find it, you need to go to counseling. The consequences from abuse can rear their ugly head years later and come out in different ways, like eating. You are such a special person. You have so much more in your life to be excited about. to let this get you down is a complete waste. Get them the help they need and move on to your new exciting life. I will be praying for you.

I am about 5 weeks post op (I think, banded sept 2) I now have my appetite completely back. I can eat as much as I did before. (I don't but I sure want to) I also notice that since I do not feel the band anymore, I don't have to chew anymore. I can eat like I used to, then remember,, Crap!! I need to chew 30 times. I need a fill badly. It is difficult to work with the band when it is not working for you anymore.

Thank you Julie and to the others who replied, thank you for being understanding and wise. I am just so relieved to have such a great support group here. I have never done this before. My husband was my first serious boyfriend and first for everything. So this is my first breakup. Weird. I soooooo appreciate all the words of kindness and encouragement. For 9 years i have been "Brian's wife" now i am just "heidi". It is going to take some time to get used to the idea. i am eager to see what God has in store for me. Thanks again.

Well as some of you may remember, I have been having some marital problems. I moved out 3 days ago and I am happy so far. It is a bit difficult to get things started in a new place but the peace that I feel not living with someone who can't stand you, is by far easier. Amazingly, I get along with the husband better in the last few days than I have in the last year. I am going to miss my kids terribly when he has them but that is for the best since there will be more harmony now that the tension is not in the air. This also forces the husband to spend time with them. He loves them very much but he has been escaping the home because of me. He took 3 trips to CA (we live in South dakota) in the last 2 months, had his CA friends over 3 different times and each time they were here, they were out on the town to bars etc. So, he is ready to have some good times with the kids while I am not there. I already notice a difference with their relationship to him. They want to ride with him when we have two different cars and they do not throw a fit when I leave from visiting. Don't get me wrong. My husband is a great man. The last few months have been hell for both of us. But we are taking steps to improve the family life we have started to show to the kids. We go to lunch with the kids and we try to show them that mommy and daddy do still love each other we just need to work some things out separatly in order to be better to each other. I don't know if we will end up getting back together but this is going to be a time when I look at myself and better myself. not for him. I am trying to depend on God rather than him. This has been my problem. I let the husband define my moods, my selfworth and basically who I am. I notice that I am not nearly as eager to have emotional eating with him not around. I am going to join a gym in the new town I have moved to and I am going to be a better mom (healthy) because of it. I have not been this healthy mentally in such a long time. Thank you for listening to my rant. There is not as much anger in this one. Just blessed peace.

Hey all, Guess what???? I no longer have to lose 100 pounds!!!! I am no longer 100 pounds overweight. I realize that 99.4 is still alot to lose but it is not 100. That number is just too intimidating. yeeeehaaaaa. those itty bitty 99 pounds don't scare me anymore!!!!! Ha right. But at least it is not over a hundred. So next step-- to lose 50 pounds. then I will be on this message board, tooting my own horn once again. Of course, I will be tooting my own horn with all of the NSV's I get until that point . But I am so glad you are here. I would burst if I could not tell someone right now. Love ya ALL!!!!!!

Misty, You sound like me when I first got married. I had lost weight then and kept it off for over 2 years. I got pregnant on our honeymoon and the only thing I could think of was-weight gain. I did a really good job of gaining it too. But that was 9 years ago and I have the MOST precious 8 year old in the world. I was not excited for him to come until I was 7 months pregnant. 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant again. (we had another after my son and thought we were done) The only thing i could think of was Crap no lap band. it was about the weight again. I knew that a pregnancy would put me over 300 and I could not live with that. I was devastated. When I was 7 weeks pregnant I had horrible pain and could not stand up straight, I went to my doc and learned it was an ectopic pregnancy. Oh my guilt. I had to have surgery to remove it and prayed that it was not still alive-I could not kill it. The surgeon said the baby had died early and that the only thing growing was the placenta but now I wish I could have the little one still. weight means nothing in comparison to love a mother has for a child. Children are the only ones who don't judge you according to how you look. I could be 300 pounds and that baby would have still looked at me like I was number 1. Sometimes it takes a few weeks or months to get used to the idea that life is not how we plan. But if I could have planned my children, I would have planned them just how I got them. I am so lucky that the oops happened. I am so glad I had them young-energy is in short supply as you get older. So a big fat congrats on the news. I understand what you are going thru, I really do. I know you will be so happy this has happened in the future. Best wishes.

Hey Vix, If I have learned anything from the surgeries that I have had, I have learned the down time that is required has always led to weight gain. I commend you for still losing when you can't do anything but sit still and watch tv or lay around. It is hard not to keep yourself occupied without food during this time. I really am sorry for your pain. Man, it has been a rough month for you. You are always so positive and encouraging. You deserve a bit of a breakdown, it may make you stronger. Big hug from Heidi.

Thank you all for your encouragement and support. It has been a difficult time in the last few months in the homelife. If I did not have the band, I do not know how much weight would pack on. It does feel sweet. I am so glad to be able to come here because the hubby could care less, and I need someone to share my victories and struggles with. So a BIG FAT (but not as fat as before ) thank you!!!!

So, I have finally made it to 249.8. I know that does not seem like a victory but I need to toot my own horn here a little bit. Do you know what this means? I am closer to the the 200 mark than I am to the 300 mark. COOL!!!! I am so excited and can't wait to say I am in Onederland!! This time I know it will happen. Not only will it happen, but it won't come back EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Hi Stormy, You know, I am almost 4 weeks post op and I had to go thru the 21 day liquid phase more recently so the emotional part of the struggle is still very fresh in my mind. I was so easily upset and so much wanted a frigging hamburger. I woke up on day 22, went to the kitchen to make some eggs and realized, I wasn't hungry. dang it, all that time and i wasn't hungry? This three weeks not only lets your tummy heal but it also changes your habits. Food is really not what it used to be to me. it is a pain in the ass to chew 30 times. You are going to make it., this 3 weeks feels so long but in hindsight it is just a tiny amount of time. Keep your mind busy, avoid stressful situations as much as you can. You are seriously just at the beginning you can do this.

heating pad is a must have.

Hickey???? ewwweee, those would have to be some major lips . It does actually have a line that is about an inch below the large incision. I would take a picture but my belly does not belong on any sort of film or digital image, much less the internet. I am thinking that it could be the cleaner thingy that was mentioned above because it does have the definate line like it was taped off.

Goodness, that is alot of screws. So it someone asks you if you have a screw loose, You actually have to check.

I have not thought of this since I was in Mexico but thought i would bring it up now. Dr O told my mom that he saw a baseball size cyst behind my stomach. Are these things common? What is the difference between a cyst and a tumor? Obviously, I am not too worried about it or I am just sick of going to doctors and having needles and scalples coming in my direction. Anyway, Is this something I should be concerned with. As far as I can tell, I would have never found out about it if I did not have a surgery and probably would have died 80 years from now still not knowing about it. Your thoughts?

Thanks so much, I was getting icked out. I still have some remnants of the suture glue around the incisions but this is all over the belly. Makes me relieved to know it is nothing permanent.

Just real qucik. Was wondering if anyone else has or had a discoloration on their belly after surgery. I am 3 weeks post op and now I have what looks like a tan line about 2 inches below the large incision. This "tan" takes up about the same amount of space as a small football. I thought it could have been dirt since I was not suppose to scrub the incisions in the shower for the first week, but i have been scrubbing for the last two weeks and it has not gone away. It is kinda creepy.

Does he use flouro, maybe the tube was punctured during your first fill. I would not think that much can just disappear like that.

Thanks for the tip Jena. I have been crushing my zoloft for 3 weeks now (GAG!!!!!!!!!) I just started to cut them up since I can eat solids again. But I had no idea there could be a problem, will be checking the prescription label right after I post this. BTW- STORMY!!! You little pooh, You have lost the same as me since the surgery and I am nearly 2 weeks ahead of you. Congrats!!!!!!