I can totally relate to the whole "tossing cookies" in the nearest trash and being in the car and having to spit and so on. I have learned that the band is NOT going to melt the fat away. I also had that impression that I was going to be able to eat EVERYTHING I wanted, just small portions of those unhealthy foods. This was before I started getting real serious about losing weight. I researched before I got the lapband and read all these post on here from REAL lapband patients and well... I came to the agreement (with myself) that I was able to compromise not having a HUGE bagel with cream cheese anymore, or stuffing my face at the buffet, or having ONE more "food coma"..
I know if I don't work out and eat healthy, I WON'T lose weight. That's how everyone's body works. I'm just so thankful for my band because it reminds me that I don't NEED to have that second serving of what ever, I don't feel as "hungry" as I used to say I always was. I'm not going to say I mastered my band yet, I don't think I've found my soft stop spot yet, I still have to spit up sometimes because I had one too many extra bites of something. I think everything takes time and just be patient. I'm sorry you had to get unfilled, and that you had to experience that... just be patient with it. I'm sure you didn't just waste all that money to NOT succeed. Give it another chance and try, just don't rush.