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Random Thoughts of A Winner Losing

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Fill Day - Thinking Thin

So I'm reading a book on 'thinking thin' - it goes through different exercises (not physical) on how to change your thinking. One of the big things it talks about is accepting when you make a 'mistake' (eat something you know you shouldn't) and then rewiring your brain from 'failure' to picking yourself up and moving forward. I think many people who have worked on their weight have dealt with this. You have a day where you have totally eaten the whole quart of icecream, or three brownies,

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2nd Fill Tomorrow

My 2nd fill is tomorrow. Really it's my third - but my second fill since I took control and started to use this band for what it was intended. This week I've done pretty well. I've had lots of situations where I went out to eat. Today I had 1/2 a taco and maybe three-quarter of a cup of beans - a boost - a stick of cheese - and for dinner four bites of a beef and blue cheese sandwich. Maybe 1200 calories today. That's the most I've eaten all week - the point is, I really need this fill. I

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Remodeling, Calorie Counting and Fill Fears

We are remodeling a house. It's killing me. It's also keeping me from thinking about food. That is a major bonus of remodeling a house. We're also moving into this house on Sunday because it we stay a few more weeks we have to pay another house payment here and a house payment there... so, Sunday, I'm moving. *sigh.... I don't think about food, but I am doing so good staying away from sweets. Didn't touch any of the icecrem today - even the low calorie stuff. Woot! Yay me. Had half a

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A Weigh Day

FRUSTRATION! I weighed. The scales haven't budged?? How is that possible? I have been averaging 1200 calories a day - seriously? Not one pound?? How very frustrating. But the light at the end of the tunnel - I didn't think what I used to: 'why am I even doing this?' etc... I thought, "Well, I'll have to work harder." I guess I'll need to add more excercise. But, geez, we're renovating a house right now, I spend every single day sweating and climbing up and down ladders, lots of wate

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Just Blogging...

Why does it feel like the time between now and my fill date (July 2nd) is F O R E V E R? I seem to glance at the calendar almost every day thinking that surely it should be closer than it is. So - I may be becoming obsessive about counting calories. It's funny - when you really pay attention to it, it all begins to add up. Breakfast 240, Lunch 560, Dinner 200. I went to Taco Bueno to get dinner for JT, Jeff and I and I kept thinking to myself: I want a taco. But a taco is fried and has lot

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Weakening One Muscle, Strengthening Another

So I'm reading a book right that works on the possibility of training yourself to think like a thin person. One of the things it mentions is weakening your 'giving-in' muscle and strenghtening your 'resistance' muscle. For everytime you can turn away from that plate of cookies - or not eat the onion rings that your BF bought for you - or stop eating when you're FULL... then you are weakening your 'giving-in' muscle and strenghtening that resistance that is very necessary to succeed. I liked t

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When In Rome?

I had convinced myself that a skinny triple grande vanilla latte from Starbuck's (I call it the mother ship... I love coffee) couldn't be THAT bad. I mean it's made with sugar free syrup AND skim milk. Surely - SURELY!! - it isn't too high in calories. What- maybe 80 calories? Reality check - after I purchased the divine warming manna I came to work to find that it has 160 calories. How in the world did that happen? Here's how it breaks down: *sigh... back to the drawing board... (and

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Thinking... Easy isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Where is it that we lose motivation? What is it in the personality of the people who don't? I was thinking on those questions while driving to work this morning. You know we've all done it. We're ready to lose weight. We've cleaned out our cabinets. Shopped for healthy fair. Read books. Made promises to ourselves. Bought a new scale. I've done these things so many times. Best intentions. We recognize we're not healthy and for some reason (appearance, health, pressures) we decide we'r

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Numero Dos - Well, and day two, too

This morning at work I walked out how many steps it will take to walk one of our largest rooms, back and forth. About 2000 steps is a mile. To the back of the room, (and up and down five steps) is about 108 steps. If I walk this about twenty times a day I will have walked a mile. So I set my computer to notify me when it's time to walk again. Luckily, the ladies I work with will do this with me. I'm being selective now about those I tell about the band. Not because I'm thinking I'll fai

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Another Day - But Not Just Any Day

Well. This is me. February 6, 2008, I was banded. I got a fill six weeks later. ... and then two weeks after that I fell and injured a rebuilt ankle. Two months after that - I fell again. So - after finding this fantastic forum I realized that I had no excuses anymore. It was time. I had lost enough weight to go down comfortably two sizes. ... AND THEN ... I went up three sizes. Nice. I want to be healthy. I had this surgery for a reason. I have some fantastic friends - but some

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