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My Journey - The Me Project

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Happy New Years

Well, it is January..almost at year three for the band..what a long and interesting journey. Full of ups and downs and all sorts of new learning. This last leg as I have mentioned is the hardest. This is the leg that you look at yourself mentally...the walls, the hold outs, the anger, pain, and then letting it all go...well at least giving it the best you can to do this. I know I will continue to grow as the years the pass. I am forever thankful for this final tool which allowed me to move on. I

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EcMjawad1

Year Two Holiday season

Year two as a banded person during the holiday season! Well, here it is year two as a banded person and I am 50+ pounds lighter than last year. What a year it has been….I made it through last year basically just not eating or going out to parties where I knew it would be too hard. This year I am going to events but being more picky about which ones I choose. Funny thing for both years I actually thought I could get away with eating the same way as I did when I wasn’t banded. I realized this bot

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The Last Leg of the Journey is the hardest

I have found something out...nothing new really, just saying the words makes it real..the last leg of this journey is proving to be the hardest...the food part is pretty much a done deal..But the mental and exercise part will be an ongoing learning journey, with weight loss the result...I did manage to get rid of all "fat cloths" or sizes I refuse to go back to wearing. This was a learning experience in itself. I was saying goodbye to my past life, closing a door...very scary for me. I have been

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EcMjawad1

Lessons continue...

Well this morning was interesting coming off a weekend spent all about the "me project." The kind of weekend where you take a long hard look at how far you have come and how far is left to go..along with the realization that the "project" will always continue and never be 100% finished..nothing in life is, right? Well anyway, I have hit a set-point in which I need to blast past it in order to continue my weight loss..I know my body and possibly my mind are fighting continued loss. This has been

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EcMjawad1

Prepping for Holiday season Year Two

Well here it is Halloween weekend, the official opening of the holiday season. Year two post band for me. What is different for me from last year at this time? Well, I am 25 pounds lighter..which for me is a big yeah! I have learned copping strategies so I don't turn to food. I have cut out all added sugar for the last three months and it is easier the longer you do it..I even have some sugar free candy for tomorrow so I don't feel cheated. I have learned to eat in ounces, weighing my food. And

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Journey Continues: food in ounces

Well almost at the 200 mark. For some this may seem like nothing, well for me its a big deal. from 290 to here was a huge trip. But the last 60 pounds are thanks to the lap band and the OCC. New lesson, count food in ounces...wow what a concept. I hadn't really been utilizing my new tool I found out as I tried to see what the "hold up" was. I needed to go back to basics. 1. Eating protein first really does make a difference! 2. Cutting out sugar in all forms - hard as hell but needed, this alo

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One year and One month later

Well, it has been a very busy year post band...not only am I adjusting to my husbands death and being a widow, but also having two college age kids leaving, one for grad school, meaning this is it..I am now entering the second half of my life...and it's going to be all about me baby!! But, getting here has been an up and down journey. Two years ago after my husband passed away from a long and painful illness, my daughter went to a local MD to see about getting a band using some of the funds he l

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EcMjawad1

A New Year

This past year has been something...a lot of new things happening...lot's of adjustments to my life...and the band has been there through each step..learning to live through things without turning to food and all that that entails has been a huge lesson in itself. I really need to think about that and how for the first time in 25 years I was not stuffing emotions down with food..this was a painful lesson, it meant that I had to sit through, feel, and deal with what was really going on..I have to

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EcMjawad1

The Transition

Well here I am during transition week. I am so thankful that my first holiday season as a banded person is almost over. Overall I have to say it went pretty well, the emotions were high but I managed them. It was so interesting just how much the holidays brought up topics. This was a very trying time but I am proud that I made it through without the overeating that usually goes along with it, the band did its job. Another thing I had to face was my aversion to exercise and the reality that I am

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EcMjawad1

First Holiday Season with the Band...what am I learning??

Well here it is first holiday season with the band..I wanted a place to write down my thoughts as I work through this...So I am trying to work on three things: 1. Meet my mini goal by my 50th which is one week after the holidays 2. Learn to deal with stuff without food 3. Work through the first holiday season at home without my husband (passed away three years ago) First thing I learned is that I need a plan for the next four weeks. Yesterday I learned (after the fact) to look up calories of

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Working through the challenges with my new life...

Well it's been one month since I started my new job in addition to my day job....teaching adults is great! I am just having trouble adjusting to the new schedule and finding the right times to eat, and the right food combo. I notice that with all the stress of the new job the band feels tighter. I often have had food get stuck, which never stuck before..I think my new life tool is helping..It slams me right back to reality....NO you can't shove food down your throat mindlessly, YES you do have t

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EcMjawad1

The Band the next phase

Whew, Just made it home from the OCC, where I received my second fill and almost missed my plane! But here I am home and now thinking about the next level this brings to me and the many new methods of eating, coping, and learning I will have to work on. I felt restriction right away, which put me right back in the mind set I was falling out of. I had started to get too comfortable with minimal restriction and while I still was not eating as much as I used to, I could eat more than I should. So

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Learning the new life continued

Well, here I am three weeks after my first fill...how am I doing? Well not too sure..most days I do real well. I thought I was well on my way to learning and living a new life..then bam..life interrupted..Both of my kids are home for the summer and I was not prepared for having two college age kids descend upon me...so my new routine in one week went out the door. In all fairness it has been a crazy two weeks since my daughter graduated college last week and this week moved back home with all he

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EcMjawad1

The jouney continues, one week post fill...

So, here I am, my first full week of food post first fill...This has been a very interesting educational time..I managed to go through a few emotional moments without overeating to the point of illness, however I did eat for emotional reasons but was able to stop before I was out of control thanks to my new tool the band..this for me has been very exciting on so many levels. At the same time I was given new medications for my heart which have made me feel not well as my body adjusts so for this

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EcMjawad1

Small personal victories....hard lessons

So ok, here I am just a month out with a new band...I am learning many things about myself, my relationship with food, and some hard lessons. In the past month I have only really tested the band three times, last night was my most recent test, and while I felt awful, icky, (need a new word for band overeating), I also learned some things..one; it doesn't feel real pleasant to overeat with the band. You can't sleep, and it (food?) stays with you for most of the next day, or at least the icky feel

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EcMjawad1

Day one Real Food Post Band

Ok, so here it is my first day of food...reality time...what worked before will not work now or at least some parts of it..brutal truth is I live alone, work long hours, and don't like to cook..so..well the Lean Cuisine for lunch was ok only ate half of it, but it upset the stomach..seems like frozen meals might be a thing of the past...so instead think of fast, healthy meals, for one...breakfast may be an issue if I don't come up with some various menu plans..in keeping with the OCC rules I wil

EcMjawad1

EcMjawad1

Another Personal Victory

Last night was another personal victory, which may seem small to some but for me was kind of a big deal...so, here I was sitting at home feeling sorry for myself as I look in the fridge at three types of soup..booring, soon over though...anyway, I picked my evening dinner soup, did my reading homework, and decided it was time to do my "in house walking" tape by Leslie Sansone. Now I had to really clean house to find this DVD since I had moved stuff around after my husband died a year and a half

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EcMjawad1

A personal victory

Well, It's Easter Sunday, year two after the death of my husband and childhood sweetheart..this year was a bit easier and I have accomplished so much today..The time of re-birth and re-newal is very personal this year. My first week as a banded person learning to live without food for comfort...I can't even believe I am saying that. I had to write it down today because I want to look back at this next year and remember that I did it! I was able to go to a family function without feeling so stres

EcMjawad1

EcMjawad1

Post surgery

Well, I did it...I made it through the surgery...the best experience ever. I have to say I have never had such great and caring service. And now the real work begins..my stomach is growling off and on but not as bad as it might be with the band. I can hardly wait to add protein. Now I have to really watch my emotions and learn new ways to deal with them. I have come a long way from when I first started paying attention to my emotions and eating. Now I can recognize when something is bothering me

EcMjawad1

EcMjawad1

Day one as a banded person!

Well, I have actually done it...the first half of a new life...the rest will start when the plane wheels hit the ground and I use this blog to work through emotions insead of eatting through them..I have to say this was a 100% best expierence and all of you thinking about the surgcial part of it like I was can rest easy..

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EcMjawad1

What to do with all the emotions--don't eat write about them part 1

So, here I am two days...to surgery...and all these feelings are surfacing and I feel myself starting to be put in frenzy which at any other time would have sent me straight for food...one of the thoughts that came to me was "what am I going to do with all these feelings?" They were almost overwhelming, or so I felt..as I sat there and made myself take deep breaths I slowly was able to at least calm myself...I can see a future where I am going to have to do this a lot and also find a way to proc

EcMjawad1

EcMjawad1

5 days

5 days...I am really doing it! Today was all liguid..well, broth with shredded cabbage just to prep me for the next 26 days of liguid...I can do this thing..just keep reading and writing and staying focused!!

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7 days

Well, blogging while finishing a Master's degree doesn't work so well, but in an effort to keep busy this last week I want to try and write all the things going through my mind. This last couple of weeks have been surprisingly hard - mentally - the thought that a person could fight themselves so much is pretty amazing - the whole power of the mind and all that. Luckily I figured these few weeks would be hard so I laid low and have tried to work on my mental readiness for my band. First there was

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The final beginning

So this is the first time I have felt like using a blog....I have had other opportunities but didn't feel like using them. But, as I look ahead a month (band date 3/26), and reflect on my daughter's procedure (1/7), I know that it is crunch time, now or never, I don't want to die - face reality.....I am pretty nervous about the surgery although my daughter went thru hers fine and she will be with me (getting her first fill). Let's face it - no one likes surgery...I feel pretty positive about the

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EcMjawad1

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